FIC: Blodeuedd, Part 2 of 3

[geri_chan]

Title: Blodeuedd, Part 2 of 3
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Leon/D, but the story mostly focuses on two OCs, a customer of D's and his "pet"
Word count: ~4,070
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Matsuri Akino; no money is being made off this story; consider it a little wish fulfillment on my part.

Summary: Sequel to "Spirits". D sells a pet to a lonely young man. The story is based on a Welsh legend from The Mabinogion.

Part 1


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The next day, Kyle bought gardening tools and seeds. He wasn't sure what kind of flowers to get: roses were the obvious choice, but Kyle didn't particularly like them--especially since his breakup with Julia. Roses, he thought, were a metaphor for love: outwardly beautiful, but with hidden thorns that wounded the careless. Red roses, the symbol for romance, were the color of blood. Pansies and daisies were more cheerful, he decided, and also bought seeds for cornflowers, more commonly known as bachelor's buttons, because they reminded him of Blodeuedd's eyes. He also bought some jeans and casual shirts, guessing at her size. He wasn't sure if she'd want to wear them, but he didn't think her formal gowns were made for gardening.
    
Kyle needn't have worried: Blodeuedd gave the clothes a quizzical look, then declared them to be practical; perfect for gardening. Even in blue jeans and a light cotton shirt, and her hair tied back with a ribbon, she still had an ethereal, otherworldly beauty.
    
They spent most of the day clearing a patch of ground for the garden, and planting the seeds. Blodeuedd looked more beautiful than ever, her cheeks flushed with exertion and happiness, a small smudge of dirt on her nose making her seem even more appealing somehow. Kyle's back was sore from bending over, his hands blistered from digging, but he was happier than he'd been in years.

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The flowers seemed to grow at an unnaturally quick rate; little green shoots sprouted up the very next day. Kyle knew nothing about gardening, but surely that wasn't normal. Within a week, the garden was full of white daisies, purple pansies, and red, white, and blue cornflowers. Every day he and Blodeuedd worked on the garden together, sharing their delight in the colorful blossoms. She read the books in his study while he was at work, and they'd discuss them in the evening over dinner, although she rarely ate anything except for a little fruit or a light salad. And every night after dinner she would go to her room and close the door. Kyle was careful never to look behind the door or ask what she did at night.
    
He knew she believed she was the Blodeuedd of myth; once or twice she slipped and referred to her former husband as "Llew," particularly when she was surprised that Kyle would let her do unladylike things like pull weeds and wear trousers. She wore jeans for gardening, but still wore her gowns in the house, looking like a medieval princess. She claimed to have never read Shakespeare before, and when he logged onto the computer to look up gardening information on the internet, she said, "What a clever device." Still, he had convinced himself she was merely a woman who had gotten too caught up in the romance of the past; he had friends who took part in renaissance fairs or belonged to the Society for Creative Anachronism, who enjoyed dressing up in gowns or armor, acting the part of noble lords and ladies, or knights who fought mock-battles. Why, look at the singer Stevie Nicks, who had written the song "Rhiannon," based on another character from the Mabinogion. Music critics had mocked her, believing she took the role of the "Welsh witch" seriously, wearing her trademark long dresses and flowing scarves on stage--a pop star's idea of what an enchantress should look like. Blodeuedd had simply taken the whole thing a step further, and come to believe the old legends were real.
    
At least, that's what Kyle told himself; he didn't examine that logic too closely. He lived his life as if he were in a fairy tale: the lucky man who had won a moon princess or a lady of the Sidhe to be his bride. But there was always a condition--Orestes was allowed to take his wife Eurydice back from the underworld on the condition that he not look back as she followed him; the Crane Wife of Japanese folklore told her husband he must never watch her when she wove the splendid cloth she gave him to sell; and Melusine told her husband she must spend one day each week alone in her bath, and he must never look in on her or he would lose her forever. And of course curiosity got the better of the men: Orestes looked back; the husbands of the Crane and Melusine peeked in on their wives and saw not women, but a crane and a serpent. And they all lost their loved ones forever. Kyle was not going to push his luck; he would not look back or open the forbidden door--he would simply enjoy his life with Blodeuedd, and not question how it had come about.

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For about a month, things went smoothly. Kyle's friends and colleagues seemed relieved that he was no longer depressed. "Got a new girlfriend?" asked one of his fellow professors. "You've got a real spring in your step these days!"
    
Kyle smiled and shook his head. The professor grinned and gave him a sly wink, as if to say, If you don't want to talk about it, okay, but I know better. Kyle didn't mind; Blodeuedd was his secret, a precious jewel or rare flower that was his alone. Just thinking about her made him smile.
    
Simon called one day and asked if he'd bought anything from Count D.
    
"Uh...not exactly..." Kyle hedged. The Count had said not to show Blodeuedd to anyone; he didn't say not to talk about her, but it seemed safer not to. Besides, she wasn't exactly a pet...was she?
    
Simon didn't press him on the issue; perhaps he knew that the Count sold merchandise of a questionable nature. Just how much did Simon know, anyway? Kyle wondered. Did he send Kyle to Count D's simply because the man was a friend of his Chinese wife? Or did he know of the back rooms with incense and mysterious animals who took human form? Just why had Simon sent him there...?
    
"I went to the shop; it was an, um...interesting...experience," said Kyle. To say the least! "But don't worry about me, Simon. I'm fine, totally over the breakup, really!"
    
"Really?"
    
"Absolutely! I'm getting on with my life now, no more moping around. Hey, I even took up a new hobby--gardening!"
    
"You?!" Simon burst out laughing. "You, the guy who can't even mow his own lawn? Do you even know the difference between a flower and a weed?"
    
"Hey, my garden is totally weed-free!"
    
"So what are you growing? Vegetables? Flowers?"
    
"Flowers--pansies, daisies, and cornflowers. The yard is beautiful--it looks like a rainbow! That old lemon tree in the back yard is perking up too, I think it might start bearing fruit again this year."
    
"I can't wait to see it! I can't believe you of all people have developed a green thumb! Hey, maybe by the next time I visit, you can serve me fresh lemonade!"
    
"Sure," said Kyle, but he felt a bit guilty taking the credit. It was Blodeuedd who had made the garden come to life. The flowers sprung up as if by magic. Even the grass seemed affected by her presence, growing in thick and lush. And Blodeuedd had also started tending the trees, paying special attention to the stunted fruit tree that usually bore only a few small, sour lemons. It seemed almost as if the branches bent down to receive her caress when she reached up to touch them. Each day, the leaves seemed greener and more abundant, and the tree seemed to stand a little taller, like a man who stood up straight and puffed out his chest when a pretty girl walked by.
    
"We might be in the area next month," said Simon, interrupting Kyle's thoughts. "Wenjing has some business to take care of, and we thought we'd make a family outing of it. Maybe you can give us a tour of your garden?"
    
"Uh, sure, give me call when you get here," said Kyle. That was a complication he hadn't considered: how could he have visitors without revealing Blodeuedd's presence? He supposed she could stay up in her bedroom, but it didn't seem fair to keep her locked away in her own home. Besides, even if the contract hadn't forbidden it, he found he didn't want to share Blodeuedd's presence with anyone, not even his old friend. She was his secret! He'd think of some excuse to postpone the visit; tell Simon the house was being renovated, or that he had business that would keep him in the city.
    
"You do sound a lot better," said Simon. "I'm glad; I was really worried about you."
    
"I'm fine."
    
"So, what happened with you and Julia, anyway? You two seemed so good together." There was a long silence. "If you don't want to talk about it, just tell me it's none of my business."
    
"No, it's okay," said Kyle. "She said I smothered her, that she 'needed her space,' whatever that means!" He laughed, trying to keep it light, but it came out bitter. "Women! If a guy goes out drinking with the guys, they complain you're ignoring them, but when you try to be romantic and spend time with them, they say you're being too clingy!" He remembered the last time he had seen Julia...

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"This is crazy, Julia!" Kyle protested as she flung her clothes into a suitcase. "Don't do this, we can still work things out!"
    
Julia turned towards him, her green eyes flashing with anger. She had long, beautiful red hair, and a redhead's stereotypical temper. That was what he had loved about her, at first: her fiery spirit. "No, Kyle, we cannot! Not as long as you insist on smothering me!"
    
"I thought I was loving you, not smothering you!" he protested.
    
"You won't let me spend any time alone!" she retorted. "You don't like it when I spend time with my girlfriends or even my family--"
    
"That's not true! I like your friends and family!"
    
"When I want to go shopping with a friend, you insist on coming along! If I want to have a mother-daughter lunch with my mom, you find some excuse to tag along! It's like you don't trust me--do you think I'm screwing around when I'm at the mall with my friends?!"
    
"Of course I trust you!" Kyle shouted. "I just want to spend time with you! Lots of girls can't even drag their boyfriends to a family dinner! You should be glad I enjoy seeing your family! I just want to spend every minute I can with you because I love you!"
    
"That's not love, Kyle," said Julia, with more pity than anger. "That's suffocation. You can't stand for me to have even a small piece of my life that doesn't include you. Sometimes I want to talk girl-talk with a friend. Sometimes I want to spend some special time alone with my mom. Just because I don't want to be with you every minute of the day doesn't mean I don't love you. But you don't believe in my love--you think if I want to spend the day with my girlfriends, it's a rejection of you. You think if you let me out of your sight, I'll forget about you, that if you're not with me constantly, I'll run away. Love requires trust, Kyle. It requires faith. And I'm hurt that you don't have faith in me."
    
"That's not true," he protested weakly. But deep down, he knew it was. It was hard to believe that such an incredible woman could really love him. He needed her close by, so that he could turn around at any time, and be reassured that she was still there. He loved her so much that he wanted to spend all his time in her presence; he didn't need anything or anyone else. Why couldn't she understand that? Why didn't she need him the same way?
    
"I don't think you ever really loved me, Kyle."
    
"How can you say that?!"
    
"You just needed someone, anyone to cling to. You don't trust anyone because you think they'll leave you the same way your parents left you."
    
"How dare you!" he yelled, his face turning white.
    
"You should talk to someone, Kyle, get some help."
    
"Spare me your pop psychology," he sneered.
    
Julia slammed the suitcase shut, a stray sleeve still hanging out of it. "Goodbye, Kyle," she said as she left, closing the door quietly behind her.

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"Kyle? Are you still there?"
    
"Huh?" Simon's voice brought Kyle back to the present. "Yeah, I'm here. Listen, I have to go, but I'll see you soon. Give me a call when you're in town, okay?"
    
"I'm sorry things didn't work out with Julia," Simon said quietly.
    
"Yeah, well, that's life, huh? Don't worry about it. Look, I really have to go now. You take care. Bye."
    
Kyle hung up the phone abruptly. The call had upset him more than he wanted to admit. Well, not the call exactly, but the memories it stirred up.
    
"Kyle?"
    
Kyle turned to see Blodeuedd standing behind him, holding a basket containing her gardening tools. She looked lovely in jeans and a blue and white flowered shirt, her long hair tied back in a loose ponytail with a blue ribbon. As always, he was dazzled by her smile.
    
"I was going out to the garden," she said. "Do you wish to join me?"
    
"Of course!" Kyle said. Some fresh air should help clear his mind.
    
As he walked out the back door and into the garden, he paused to take in its beauty. The sun was shining, the sky was a cloudless blue, and the flowers were bright and cheerful. Birds perched on the tree branches, filling the air with their song, and other birds hopped about in the garden, looking for seeds and insects.
    
"How beautiful," said Kyle, without thinking. "Maybe we should build a bird feeder--"
    
As soon as Blodeuedd stepped into the garden behind him, all the birds took off into the air, with a sudden flurry of wings. Birdsong turned into shrieks of fear. One bold magpie landed on the highest tree branch, and squawked at Blodeuedd mockingly.
    
Blodeuedd dropped her basket, the tools falling to the ground with a clatter. Kyle turned to see her, face chalk-white, blue eyes wide with horror and despair. The pain in those eyes was like a knife that cut into his soul. Kyle suddenly remembered the excerpt from the Mabinogion: "'For the shame thou hast done unto thy husband, Llew Llaw Gyffes,' Gwydion said, 'I will not slay thee, but I will do unto thee far worse than that. I will turn thee into a bird that all other birds will shun...'"
    
And now Kyle belatedly realized that he had never seen any birds in the yard when Blodeuedd was present. Blodeuedd burst into tears and ran back into the house. Kyle ran after her. He found her, collapsed in a heap on the living room floor, sobbing uncontrollably. He hovered over her helplessly, not knowing what to do.
    
"What's wrong, Blodeuedd?" he asked, patting her on the back awkwardly. Dumb question, Kyle! he thought. You know what's wrong!
    
"Gwydion's curse," sobbed Blodeuedd. "I will never escape it! Yes, I tried to kill Llew, but they condemned me to eternal punishment. Death would be kinder than this! Gwydion's and Llew's bones have been dust for hundreds of years now, yet I still live under their curse! Have I not yet paid for my crime?"
    
"Gwy...Gwydion...you mean you really are Blodeuedd, the Blodeuedd of the Mabig, the Mabin..." Kyle stammered.
    
"The Mabinogion," finished Blodeuedd bitterly. "My story, my shame, my curse, recorded for all to read. Gwydion spoke truly when he said my fate would be worse than death."
    
"But...but..." Kyle couldn't put together a coherent sentence. She couldn't really be the Blodeuedd of myth! She was only a disturbed woman, right? Just someone who lived in a fantasy world? But he had seen the birds' reaction to her... He tried to pull himself together. "Is...is this really such a terrible life, Blodeuedd?" he asked, trying to speak gently, comfortingly, but his voice sounded desperate to his own ears. "You have your garden, you have me. If there's anything else I can do for you--"
    
"You have been kind to me, Kyle," she said, her voice hoarse with grief. "But I cannot live like this anymore." She saw the look of fear on his face, and laughed bitterly. "Not that I have any choice! Do not fear that I will take my own life, Kyle. It is impossible. Believe me--I have tried. Gwydion thought death would be too quick and easy a punishment."
    
"There are men who would pay any price for immortality," said Kyle.
    
"I don't want to be immortal! To spend eternity as an owl--with the taste of blood in my mouth every night--is a living hell! To see the birds flee me, that once sang to me when I was a field of flowers...that would come to my hand even after Math and Gwydion changed me into a woman...their song comforted me then, when I lived in the castle, longing for my fields."
    
"You...didn't wish to become a woman, then?" asked Kyle hesitantly. He felt as if he were once more in the Count's incense-filled room, not sure if this was reality or a dream. He felt like the man in the fairy tale who had just opened a forbidden door...
    
"No," said Blodeuedd. "I never wanted to become human. No one asked me; who could ask consent of a flower? But after they changed me into a woman, no one asked my consent then, either. They just assumed that, as their creation, I would do as they pleased. I was a puppet, a pet; no one expected me to have a mind of my own. One may treat a lapdog with affection, even pamper it with dainties to eat and a cushion by the fireside, but no one asks the dog if it consents to be owned. I was a pretty ornament to grace Llew's arm and his bed, and to bear his children. They did not expect me to have freewill, to remember what it was like to be flowers...such mighty sorcerers, they thought the world was theirs to bend to their will...but they forgot nature is a force that no man can fully control."
    
"You...remember what it was like to be flowers?" asked Kyle. "Do plants have, well, uh...awareness...?" The thought of each flower in the garden being intelligent and having its own personality was rather disconcerting.
    
"Not a human awareness, no. But I remember the warmth of the sun shining down on me, the coolness of the rainfall, the caress of the wind...I remember the way my roots drew strength from the earth. I was content, I suppose. Flowers do not have human emotions...love, hate, fear, jealousy... By all the gods, I wish I could become flowers once more!"
    
The thought of losing her terrified Kyle. He tried to think of something, anything, that might change her mind. "But...were you ever happy as a human? Didn't you love Gronw Bebyr? Or was that love not worth the price you paid?" Was the pain that love inevitably brought ever worth the price? wondered Kyle.
    
"I never loved Gronw," Blodeuedd said. She smiled wryly at the startled look on Kyle's face. "You must not believe everything the bards say! He did not love me either; he lusted after my body, and coveted my husband's lands."
    
"But then, why--?"
    
"I wanted to hurt Llew, to take revenge on him for condemning me to this form, for never noticing my unhappiness. I tried to tell him, but it was difficult for me to put into words, being new to human shape and emotions, and he never really listened to me anyway. Though I was his wife, I barely knew him...he was always off hunting, and going to battle, doing all the things a warrior prince does. Perhaps if I had truly been human, he would have treated me differently..." Her voice trailed off, and she was silent for a moment. "Perhaps not. But even after I thought we had killed, or at least banished Llew, I was not happy. I was still trapped in this human form, when all I wanted was to return to the earth from which I had been uprooted. I should have killed myself while I had the chance; then at least my misery would have been over. Now I am trapped in this form for all time."
      
Blodeuedd stopped talking, exhausted by her weeping and her grief. Kyle had no idea what to say. Finally, just to break the silence, he said the first thing that popped into his head.
    
"How did you come all the way from Wales to Count D's shop in Chinatown?"
    
"The Count's grandfather found me in a forest in Wales many years ago," she replied, and Kyle wondered what an elderly Chinese man had been doing wandering through a Welsh forest. Blodeuedd continued, "I was in my owl form, had been for more years than I can count. I was half-mad with grief and anger, could barely remember the time when I had been human. I had almost come to take pleasure in the hunt; when I tore apart the birds I had once loved, I pretended they were the men who had trapped me in this form." Kyle shuddered at the expression on her face, one he had never seen before: a kind of feral hunger, the look of a wild beast ready to lash out at its attacker.
    
Then the strange look left Blodeuedd's face, and she sighed wearily. "He somehow recognized that I was not a normal owl; he spoke to me--I did not understand what he said, but his words calmed me somehow. His touch granted me a measure of peace, stilled my anger, at least for a brief time. He..." She hesitated. "I thought at first he was another sorcerer, but now I am not sure. Perhaps he and his grandson are faery folk, or some kind of spirits. I know they are not normal humans."
    
"Why does that not surprise me?" mumbled Kyle.
    
"He brought me to the shop, and somehow they helped me regain my human form, at least during the day. The Count said they could not totally cancel the curse; I must still take the form of an owl every night and go hunting. I have lived there ever since. The Count and his companions have treated me with compassion."
    
"Why did he sell you to me?" asked Kyle.
    
"I do not know," replied Blodeuedd. "He said he helped the people who came to his shop find 'love, hope, and dreams'. He said if the right person came along, we might find happiness together. He implied that the right person might break the curse."
    
"What?!" exclaimed Kyle. "Is that true?!"
    
Blodeuedd shrugged indifferently. "I do not know; I lost all my hope long ago. Gwydion never mentioned any means by which his spell could be broken."
    
"Well, of course he wouldn't tell you!" said Kyle excitedly. "He wouldn't want you to be able to break the curse! There must be a way! There always is, in the fairy tales--"
    
"This is not a fairy tale," began Blodeuedd. Then she gasped, "The change--please, I don't want you to see--" Her voice broke off, and the air around her seemed to shimmer.
    
"What the hell--!" Kyle suddenly noticed that the room had become dark. Hours had passed while Blodeuedd told her story, and night had fallen. Her form seemed to blur, shrinking in upon itself. He rubbed his eyes, and when he looked up again, an owl sat on the floor in Blodeuedd's place. To his horror, he saw it had her sad blue eyes. It--she--flew up into the air towards the nearest window, beating her wings against the glass. Kyle hurried over and threw the window open, and Blodeuedd flew out into the night sky.

Part 3