FIC: Curry, Part 2 of 2

[geri_chan]

Title: Curry, Part 2 of 2
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Leon/D
Word count: ~5,240
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Matsuri Akino; no money is being made off this story; consider it a little wish fulfillment on my part.

Summary: Stand-alone fic, not part of the series that starts with "Revenge"--D and Leon are not a couple in this story. (Or you can picture it as a prequel, since I use the same OC wolf pet, Lupin.) A sort of crossover with Revolutionary Girl Utena; none of the characters from that story appear, but I did borrow the device of the body-switching curry powder from one of the anime episodes. Due to an accident involving the curry, D and Leon switch bodies.

Author's note: [Brackets] indicate the animals' speech, which Leon cannot understand.

Part 1
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Leon slumped down in the passenger seat and sulked as Jill drove them to the petshop. "I don't see why we have to go back there," he complained. "We can't switch back to our own bodies till the curry comes in."
   
"I just have to see this for myself!" exclaimed Jill.
   
"You don't have to sound so happy about it," grumbled Leon. "It's not like I did this on purpose for your entertainment."
   
"Fine," said Jill. "If you don't want my help, you can go and explain to the Captain yourself--"
   
"Okay, okay!" shouted Leon, throwing up his hands in surrender. "I'm sorry!"
   
Jill giggled. "I can't wait to see what the Count looks like!"
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"AAARRRGGHH!" yelled Leon.
   
"KYAAAAAH!!!" screamed the Count.
   
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!" they both shouted in unison, as Jill sat down on the couch, covering her mouth with both hands to try and keep from laughing out loud. She noticed there was a small dog--a fox?--with several tails lying on the couch next to her. He was making a soft chuffing noise, as if he were laughing too.
   
"Just look at those awful clothes!" exclaimed the Count, an expression of horror on his face. "You can't walk around in public like that! People might think you're me--I can't have you ruining my reputation!"
   
"Yeah, well, same goes for you, buddy!" snarled Leon, poking D's chest with an elegant, long-nailed finger. "What will people think when they see my body prancing around in a dress?! God, you even put flowers in my hair!"
   
"How many times do I have to tell you that this is not a dress?!"
   
While they argued, Jill quietly took a small camera out of her purse. Although the crime lab guys were officially responsible for photographing crime scenes, a good detective always had a camera handy just in case. D/Leon looked so cute in that Chinese outfit! It wasn't likely she would ever see him dressed like that again; besides, the pictures might come in handy someday as blackmail material...Jill quickly took several snapshots before the pair turned towards her suspiciously.
   
"What're you doing, Jill?!" demanded Leon.
   
Jill quickly shoved the camera back into her purse, and pulled out a small, gold box. "Oh, I just wanted to give this present to the Count," she said innocently.
   
D clasped his hands together, and beamed at her, like a child being presented with a Christmas present. "Ah, Godiva chocolates! How wonderful! You are so thoughtful, Miss Jill!"
   
"Kyu, kyu!" squeaked Q-chan as he fluttered down and landed on D's shoulder, peering down at the box of candy hungrily.
   
D opened the box, selected a chocolate, and daintily took a bite out of it. "Mmmm, Creme Brulee, delicious!" he murmured, rolling his eyes in ecstasy.
   
Jill smiled. It was incredibly strange to watch Leon's face going orgasmic over a piece of candy. Apparently Leon thought so too, because he covered his eyes, saying, "I can't watch this!"
   
Meanwhile, Q-chan grabbed a truffle (with raspberry filling) and began gobbling it up greedily, smears of pink cream staining his cheeks. The little batbunny thought he could really use a treat after a morning like this! The sugar rush took his mind off the fact that his master was trapped in the body of that annoying human.
   
"What a beautiful outfit, Count D," said Jill. "It's really quite flattering."
   
D beamed at her. "Why, thank you, Miss Jill!" he said, giving Leon an "I told you so" look.
   
"Whose side are you on anyway?" grumbled Leon.
   
"The Count's, of course," replied Jill serenely.
   
Leon growled and ground his teeth together.
   
"So are you still going to run the shop, Count?" asked Jill.
   
"NO!" shouted Leon. "You can't do that! I won't let you show yourself in public like that!"
   
D gave Leon a cold look. "Won't 'let' me?" he asked in an icy tone. "You do not own me, Detective. And besides, my petshop can hardly be considered 'public'."
   
"You know what I mean! I don't want people to think that you're me!"
   
"Nor do I want people to think I am you," retorted D.
   
"Whoa guys, time out," said Jill, bravely stepping between the two men. "Can't we just agree that you'll both keep a low profile till the curry powder comes in? Leon, I'll cover for you at work. I'll tell the Captain you had a family emergency to attend to. It's short notice, but he can't really complain since you haven't taken any of your vacation time in ages."
   
"Oh, very well," said the Count grudgingly. "I suppose it would be difficult to deal with customers like this."
   
"But I can't--ouch!" Leon exclaimed as Jill kicked him in the shins.
   
"Low profile, Leon," said Jill, a note of warning in her voice.
   
"Low profile," agreed Leon, crossing his fingers behind his back.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________


As they drove back to Leon's place, Leon said, "But I can't just sit around the apartment all week! This is a perfect opportunity to go undercover! Maybe I can even infiltrate one of the Chinatown gangs!"
   
"Like that?" Jill asked incredulously. "Count D is probably the most well-known person in Chinatown!"
   
"Aw, nobody will recognize me if I'm not in a dress! I'll just look like an anonymous Chinese kid."
   
"As in, 'all you people look alike'?" asked Jill sarcastically.
   
Leon flushed; Jill noted that the rosy blush looked very becoming on D's pale face. "That's not what I meant!" he said, a bit guiltily. "I mean, people see what they expect, and they don't expect to see D in normal clothes!"
   
"Not many Chinese have purple and yellow eyes, Leon."
   
"So I'll wear dark glasses!"
   
"And those nails?"
   
Leon looked down at D's manicured nails and frowned. "Maybe I can cut them...?"
   
"Have you lost your mind, Leon?! The Count will kill you!"
   
Leon slumped down in the seat, pouting. "Well, he put flowers in my hair!"
   
"Flowers can be removed. It'll take weeks to grow those nails back. Can you imagine what he'd do to your body for revenge?"
   
Leon/D's white skin became even paler as he contemplated that thought. He shuddered. "Okay, okay, I won't cut his damn nails!" He thought for a moment, then brightened. "But I could pose as Count D himself! I'm sure he hears all kinds of gossip and information from the people in Chinatown!"
   
Jill sighed and rolled her eyes. "Leon, you don't speak Chinese!"
   
"D speaks English," Leon protested.
   
"And you'll have to wear a 'dress' if you're posing as D."
   
"Oh shit..."
___________________________________________________________________________________________________


Back at the apartment, Jill fixed the broken strand of pearls on D's cheongsam. "You're lucky the Count didn't see this!" she told Leon. "Imagine his reaction if he saw his pearls in your ashtray!"
   
"Hey, I cleaned 'em off," protested Leon. "They look as good as new. He'll never know the difference." He glared at her. "As long as no one tells him!"
   
"You owe me big-time, Orcot!" said Jill.
   
"I'll buy you dinner at any restaurant you want," promised Leon.
   
"I think you owe me a little more than an expensive dinner," replied Jilll.
   
"So what do you want?!" growled Leon.
   
Jill just gave him a smug smile. "Oh, I'm sure I'll think of something..."
   
Leon glumly thought that "something" was bound to involve D and an embarrassing situation...
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Tet-chan sat at the kitchen table, glumly staring at the economy-size bottle of aspirin in front of him as he took a swig of sake (which he normally used only for cooking, but these were desperate times).
   
"I don't think you're supposed to mix pills and alcohol," piped up Pon-chan, standing on tiptoe to reach the tabletop.
   
"Shut up, brat!" snarled Tet-chan, rubbing his temples. "Damn, my head still hurts."
   
Ten-chan grabbed a bowl of pudding from the fridge, and perched on the kitchen counter, waiting for Tet-chan to yell at him not to steal food and to get his butt off the counter, but the Tou-Tet just ignored him. The kitsune ate a bite of pudding (chocolate caramel), feeling a bit disgruntled.
   
Pon-chan stretched her little arms up towards Ten-chan's snack. "I want some, I want some! Gimme some, Ten-chan, please?"
   
The kitsune teased her by holding the bowl just out of reach. "You want it? Come and get it!"
   
"Meanie!"
   
"Shorty!"
   
"Oh shut up, both of you!" growled Tet-chan.
   
"Am I interrupting something?" asked D cheerfully.
   
"Count!" exclaimed Ten-chan, guiltily hiding the bowl of pudding behind his back.
   
"Count, Ten-chan won't share!" whined Pon-chan.
   
"Big-mouth!"   
   
"Meanie!"
   
Tet-chan just sat there with his mouth hanging open, stammering, "Uh...uh...uh...," apparently stunned by the appearance of the detective's body dressed in a cheongsam.
   
D spun around coquettishly, showing off his new outfit. "Do you like it, Tet-chan?" he asked.
   
"Uh..."
   
"It has been a very trying day," sighed D. Q-chan, who was sitting on D's shoulder, nodded vigorously in agreement. The batbunny still looked a bit perturbed every time he looked at his master's new form. "I am in need of a special dessert to ease the stress," continued D. "Something chocolate would be nice." He smiled at Tet-chan and stroked his cheek affectionately. "You will make dessert for me, won't you?"
   
Tet-chan stared into Leon's blue eyes, torn between revulsion and desire. This was his Count caressing him, but it was also the detective whom he despised. His beautiful Count trapped in that hideous body! Yet D/Leon, now clad in a Chinese silk robe, with long golden curls framing a gentle smile on his face, no longer looked so hideous...in fact, he looked almost handsome...
   
"IYAAAAAAH!!!" Tet-chan screamed in horror, running out of the room.
   
"Oh dear," said D. "I suppose this means no dessert..."
   
"He needs a little time to adjust, I guess," said Ten-chan. "Personally, I think you look quite fetching, Count."
   
"Thank you, Ten-chan. This is all so disconcerting," D sighed.
   
Ten-chan snickered. "Just think about how Leon must feel!"
   
D's lips curved in a small smile. "He does not seem to be handling it as well as I," agreed the Count in a rather smugly superior tone.
   
"Speaking of Leon," said the kitsune, "we still have the tarts he left behind." He held up the pastry box marked with the "Madame C's" logo.
   
"I want some!" said Pon-chan, jumping up and down. D's new form no longer bothered her in the slightest. After all, the animals in the shop all had two forms; why shouldn't the Count have two forms also?
   
D laughed and patted the raccoon-girl on the head. "We shall all sit down and have some tea and pastries together!" he said happily.
   
Meanwhile, Tet-chan lay in his bed, curled up in ball, clutching his head in both hands. "IamnotattractedtoLeon! IamnotattractedtoLeon!" he kept whimpering over and over again. "Oh God, my head hurts!" he wailed.
   
Lupin observed all this and helpfully went down to report to the Count that Tet-chan was not feeling well. [He says he has a headache. He looks really sick!] the wolf pup said in a concerned tone of voice.
   
"Oh my!" exclaimed the Count. "I will bring him some herbal tea."
   
Ten-chan started to say, "I don't think that's such a good idea," but then changed his mind, and tagged along to see the fun.
   
"Tet-chan," D sang out sweetly. "I brought you some tea for your headache."
   
In a pain-and-alcohol induced haze, all Tet-chan saw was the detective standing over his bed. "IYAAAAAH!!!"
   
Ten-chan rolled on the ground laughing as the teapot went flying, and D chased a hysterical Tet-chan around the room, trying to minister to his "sick" pet.
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The following morning, Leon stumbled as he walked through the doorway of the Kirin Restaurant in Chinatown. "Damn skirts!" he muttered to himself.
   
The owner, a plump Chinese man in his fifties, looked up and said, "Why, hello, Count D!"
   
"Ni hao!" said Leon, forcing himself to smile cheerily. He really felt stupid in this get-up! Then again, no one would ever recognize him as Leon Orcot, and this was a great opportunity to spy on D's Chinatown contacts. He suspected the owner of the restaurant, Cyrus Chan, of using the place as a cover for a gambling operation, although he had no proof, since the Chief of Police was reluctant to authorize an investigation of Chinatown. Leon suspected the Count had influence over many of the city's top officials; probably the Chief refused to investigate the Kirin because Chan was a friend of D's. Just the name of the restaurant made Leon suspicious, ever since that incident where D claimed to have sold a real Kirin to the Congressman Roger T. Stanford! Now I'll get the dirt on D, thought Leon to himself.
   
Chan started to talk to Leon in Chinese. "Speak English!" growled the detective, and the restaurant owner stared at him in surprise. Leon cursed himself silently; he needed to remember to stay "in character"! Leon attempted to smile sweetly the way D did when he was playing innocent, and said in a more mild tone, "Er...I mean, I wish to improve my English, so please, let us speak English today."
   
"But your English is already excellent, Count D!" exclaimed Chan.
   
"Er...tee hee...please humor me," simpered Leon/D, gritting his teeth behind his forced smile.
   
"Are you feeling all right, Count D?" asked Chan, looking concerned. "You don't seem quite yourself today."
   
You don't know the half of it! thought Leon. Aloud he said, "I may be coming down with a bit of a cold," and coughed delicately into his palm.
   
"Ah! I will get you some herbal tea--my grandmother's special recipe. Guaranteed to make you feel better! I'll be right back."
   
This was the perfect opportunity to have a look around while Chan went to get the tea. "I'll just go and...ah...freshen up while you get the tea, Mr. Chan," said Leon.
   
"Of course, Count," smiled Chan. "Make yourself at home! Let the waiters know if you'd like some tea or something to eat."
   
Leon headed towards the restrooms at the back of the restaurant, took a quick look around to make sure no one was watching him, then slipped through a nearby door labeled "Employees Only". It led to a storeroom that seemed to contain nothing out of the ordinary: bags of rice, boxes filled with canned goods or packages of dried noodles; nothing illegal at all! But then Leon thought he heard faint voices coming from the back of the room...sure enough, there was another door, almost hidden behind a tall stack of boxes. Leon slowly turned the knob and opened the door...
   
Three elderly Chinese men sat in a small room--hardly bigger than a closet--around a card table, intently studying the rows of small, square tiles stacked in front of them. One of them looked up and smiled at Leon and said, "Ah, hello, Count D!"
   
This was the big illegal gambling operation? A few old men playing mah-jong?! Leon felt cheated.
   
"Would you care to sit in on a game or two, Count?" asked one of the other men.
   
"I don't know," replied Leon. "How high are the stakes?" The detective hoped he could still salvage something from the situation--maybe these were rich old men, playing for big money...
   
The third man laughed. "It's the usual, of course!" He gestured at the table--and now Leon noticed that there was a small pile of cookies and candies in front of each man.
   
The first man pretended to scowl angrily. "I don't think we should let this young man play! Last time he walked off with all my sweets!"
   
The men all laughed. "Of course, young Count D has quite the sweet tooth!" said the second man. "How about it, Count? Today we're playing for almond cookies and those preserved plums you like so much."
   
Leon groaned inwardly. This was hardly the bust he had hoped for! The game seemed to be nothing more sinister than the card games he'd played with his buddies in elementary school, with candies, pennies, and maybe a few marbles put up as stakes. Aloud he said, "Thank you, but I should be leaving soon."
   
The old men said goodbye, and gave him a handful of sweets. Leon stalked back into the restaurant, clutching the sweets in one hand, since D's robe had no pockets. Chan was waiting, holding a shopping bag printed with the restaurant's logo. "You look a little upset, Count," said Chan. "Is anything wrong?"
   
"Nothing," growled Leon. "I'm just having a bad day."
   
Chan smiled sympathetically. "Ah, is your Policeman giving you a hard time?"
   
"What!?" shrieked Leon.
   
Chan handed Leon the bag, saying, "Herbal tea and hot soup for your cold, plus a little something extra." He winked at the detective and whispered, "A love potion--my grandmother's secret recipe!" He watched with concern as Leon turned bright red and ran out the door. "The Count seems out of sorts today," he observed.
   
One of the waitresses, a young Chinese woman, smirked and said, "Must be love!"

Back in the car, Leon examined the contents of the bag--a plastic container of hot soup, which smelled delicious; a brown paper package filled with dried leaves, which was probably the tea; and a smaller paper packet, also filled with some sort of dried leaves and herbs--the "love potion". Leon snorted. His first impulse was to toss it in the trash, but decided to hang onto it on the off-chance that it contained some sort of illegal drug; maybe he could have one the lab techs run a test on it later. "I'd better be more careful about eating or drinking anything from D's shop," he grumbled to himself. "God knows what kind of poison he might be feeding me! 'Love potion,' my ass!"
___________________________________________________________________________________________________


Meanwhile, D had "found" another Leon-sized outfit in his closet, a silk robe of blue-green, with a stylized white pattern that resembled waves. It gave Leon's eyes the illusion of green highlights, observed the Count as he stared into his mirror. He let one of the cat-girls brush out his hair, while another filed and polished his nails. "They're so short," he said mournfully.
   
"Well, at least he keeps them relatively clean and doesn't bite them," said the girl filing his nails, a black panther named Midnight. In her human form, she was a lovely woman with jet-black hair and yellow eyes. She was clad in a black velvet gown that hugged the curves of her body, except where the skirt was slit high on one side, nearly to her waist.
   
The other girl, a persian cat named Princess, was clad in a low-cut satin gown that matched her white-blonde hair, and wore a diamond-studded collar around her neck. "I find this form quite attractive," she purred. "And his hair is really quite lovely."
   
"He's not too bright, though," said Midnight. "The detective, I mean."
   
Princess giggled. "It's not his brains I'm interested in!"
   
"Good thing, since he doesn't have too many."
   
"Enough!" snapped the Count, and the girls fell silent after exchanging a knowing look. All the pets knew that their master got annoyed when any of them showed too much interest in Leon, though he denied having any romantic feelings for the human. Even a kami, so powerful and wise in all other matters, was not immune to denial, it seemed...
___________________________________________________________________________________________________


Meanwhile, Leon was having an extremely frustrating day; despite checking several shops the Count was known to patronize, he heard nothing other than gossip about D's love life!
   
At the corner flower shop, the proprietress, a middle-aged Chinese woman, smiled and said, "Is your handsome detective not bringing you enough flowers, Count D?"
   
Leon gritted his teeth and said, "Detective Orcot does not bring me flowers--"
   
"Ah, what a pity," the woman sighed. "You should give your young man a stern talking-to!"
   
"He is not my 'young man'!" growled Leon. "And he does spend a fortune on chocolates and pastries for Co--uh, for me!"
   
"Well then, perhaps you should send him flowers," laughed the woman, handing him a bouquet of red roses. Leon tried to pay her for the flowers, but she insisted it was "on the house".

Leon was so pissed off that he drove to the nearest burger joint and ordered a double bacon cheeseburger. "And a large coke and extra-large fries," added Leon with malicious glee. People in the restaurant stared as the effeminate-looking Chinese man bit into the huge burger voraciously, grease running down his chin. "Take that, D!" Leon said with his mouth full.
   
Thus fortified, Leon drove back to Chinatown and the next stop on his list--the bakery owned by Mrs. Hong, which specialized in Chinese sweets and was a favorite of D's. Leon knew this because of the many hours he spent doing surveillance on the Count--usually on his own time, since the Captain would not authorize an investigation of Chinatown. Leon referred to this as "dedication to my job" while Jill preferred to call it "denial" or "A rather unusual courtship ritual, don't you think, Leon?" Leon growled to himself; he'd really love to chew Jill out, but he couldn't afford to piss her off too much, since she was the only one in the department who would help him out on his "informal" investigations, though her motives were rather dubious...
___________________________________________________________________________________________________


"I think you get off on the idea of two guys together," said Leon accusingly, as he and Jill sat in his car, staking out the petshop. "That's kinda sick, Jill!"

In response, Jill picked up a porn magazine that was lying in the back seat and pointed to the cover. "'Hot Lesbians in Love'?" she asked wryly.
   
"That's different!" snapped Leon, snatching the magazine away from her.
   
"Oh? Would you like to explain the difference to me?"
   
"Well, it's...er...that is...um..."
   
Jill grinned and winked at him. "What's sauce for the gander is sauce for the goose, Leon!"
___________________________________________________________________________________________________


Leon ground his teeth together and growled at the memory. Mrs. Hong, an elderly Chinese woman, blinked in surprise and asked, "Is everything all right, Count D?"
   
"I'm just having a bad day," said Leon sulkily.
   
"Well then, some sweets will cheer you up," Mrs. Hong said with a smile. "Here, try this." She handed Leon a small round cake. The detective bit into the golden brown crust, and a filling of black sugar--still warm from the oven--oozed into his mouth. He recognized it as a pastry that D had fed him before at the petshop; it had an odd but not unpleasant taste. In fact, it was quite good, though Leon would never admit that to D! (He preferred to complain bitterly about "that weird Chinese stuff you always feed me," though D would only pointedly reply, "I notice that does not stop you from eating it, Mr. Detective.")
   
"Mmm, delicious, Mrs. Hong!" said Leon with his mouth full.
   
"I'm so glad you like it!" said Mrs. Hong. She turned to her young assistant--possibly her granddaughter?--and said, "Karen, please box up a dozen of these for Mr. Count D." The girl--who was young and very pretty, Leon noticed appreciatively--smiled and began filling a white cardboard box with the pastries.
   
"So, Mrs. Hong," said Leon, "what is the latest gossip in Chinatown today?"
   
The woman looked a little surprised at his request, but she thought for a moment and replied, "Well, let's see...Mr. Chow's daughter just had her first baby...he's so excited about his new grandson! And I heard that the Eastern Garden just got a new chef..."
   
Leon absentmindedly wiped the crumbs from his face with the back of his hand as Mrs. Hong and Karen stared in amazement. "You haven't heard anything...uh...juicier?"
   
Karen smiled mischievously. "I've heard something very juicy."
   
"Yes?!" Leon leaned forward eagerly.
   
Karen leaned forward and said in a stage-whisper, "I hear there's this very handsome detective that's been hanging around a local petshop lately!"
   
"AAARRGHH!" shouted Leon as he turned and ran out the door.
   
"Count D!" Mrs. Hong called after him, holding up the pastry box. "You forgot your sweets! Count D!" She shook her head, a worried expression on her face. "The Count is just not himself today! I wonder what's gotten into him?"
   
"It must be unrequited love for the detective!" Karen sighed dramatically. "That's so romantic!"
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Leon stalked down the street, constantly stumbling because his usual long stride was hampered by D's skirts. He ignored the startled looks he got from the local residents, who were taken aback by the sight of a scowling Count D tripping over the hem of his robe. What a waste of time this had been! thought Leon to himself. Just then, a young Chinese man stepped out of the doorway of a nearby shop and called out, "Count D!"
   
Leon looked up and saw that he was standing in front of a tailor's shop, one D was known to frequent. He searched his mind for the shop owner's name. "Hello, Mister...Shen."
   
"I just wanted to tell you that your special order is ready," said Shen.
   
Leon brightened. Aha! Things were picking up--maybe this "special order" was some kind of contraband--drugs, or maybe weapons! He smiled at the shop owner and said, "Thank you! I will pick it up now!"
   
Leon stepped into the shop and waited for the tailor to get his package from behind the counter. A little Chinese girl, about five years old, sat on the floor playing with her dolls. She looked up and smiled at him. "Hi, Mr. D!" she said.
   
Leon smiled back and knelt down next to her. "Hello, little one," he replied. "What pretty dollies you have." It wasn't just an empty compliment--the dolls were clad in miniature cheongsams as lovely and elaborate as the ones D wore.
   
"Daddy made their dresses!" the girl said proudly. "It makes them look pretty--just like you, Mr. D!"
   
"Mr. D" turned bright red. "Er...thanks," said Leon. He couldn't cuss out a little kid, but he fully intended to let D have it the next time they met!
   
"Now, now, Xingmei," Shen scolded gently, "we mustn't keep the Count waiting."
   
"I do have to be going," said Leon hastily. "But thank you for showing me your dolls, Xingmei."
   
"You're welcome. Goodbye, Mr. D," said the girl, kissing him on the cheek.
   
Leon's blush deepened. He took the package from Shen, and quickly left, after being assured that the order would be charged to D's account "as usual, of course."
___________________________________________________________________________________________________


Finally, Leon returned home and eagerly ripped open the package. He was disappointed to find not drugs, but brightly colored silk. He held up the cloth, expecting to see one of D's dresses, but instead found himself holding a blue silk shirt. It was deep blue with a mandarin collar and frog closures made of gold thread. But the shirt was much too big to fit D...Leon stared at if for a moment, then took it to his closet and compared it to one of his own shirts. Sure enough, it was exactly his size--at least when he was in his real body! D must have ordered it as a gift for him! He remembered that D had been annoyed that Leon had not informed him of his birthday a couple of months ago. Leon protested that it had not been a big deal. He hated holidays and birthdays or any occasion that was normally considered a "family" thing. He preferred to keep a low profile; there was no celebration other than the guys at work chipping in to buy a cake, and Jill taking him out to dinner and giving him the now-infamous smiley-face shorts. Jill--who else?--had blabbed to D, who had gotten all huffy for nearly a week (until Leon showed up with a strawberry cheesecake from Madame C's). He didn't know why D would even care when his birthday was...Leon stroked the smooth blue silk and felt strangely touched. Then he felt a little guilty for suspecting the Count of receiving a drug shipment. "A late birthday present," he murmured to himself. "I can't believe it!" His lips curved almost against his will into a small smile. "Silly Count!" he said. "As if I would wear such a girly-looking thing!" But he carefully hung the shirt up in his closet, and blinked to hold back tears from his suddenly stinging eyes. "Goddamn," he muttered. "Must've got some dirt in my eyes..."
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One week later, Leon hurried over to the Petshop after receiving a call from D. He was so relieved to hear that the curry had arrived that he was not even angry to see D wearing a blue cheongsam embroidered with gold vines. D/Leon's hair had been braided into a pigtail interwoven with blue and gold ribbons. Q-chan was anxiously hovering in the air over his master; apparently the plump bat was as eager to see things get back to normal as Leon.
   
D, on the other hand, was surprised to see Leon wearing the blue and white cheongsam from the day of the accident. Leon flushed. "I figured you'd like to be wearing your own clothes when you get your body back," he mumbled, staring at his feet. "And...er...thanks for the shirt. Sorry, I guess it was supposed to be a surprise..."
   
"Ah yes," smiled D. "I had heard you picked up my special order from Mr. Shen's store. I suppose, in a way, it was a surprise after all. Happy belated birthday, Mr. Detective."
   
"Uh, thanks, D," Leon mumbled. Then he cleared his throat and said loudly, "Okay, let's get on with this! I wanna be back in my own body!"
   
"Very well," said D. He opened the canister of curry and dropped it onto the floor (which was covered with a large tarp this time to protect the carpet)...
   
Just then, Tet-chan staggered into the room holding a empty sake bottle. "Whash goin' on here?" he demanded when he spotted D and Leon.
    
BOOM!!!
   
Leon coughed, trying to clear spicy-smelling smoke from his lungs. He raised his hands to his face--large, manly hands. "Oh, thank God!" he exclaimed. Then he saw his nails..."Goddammit, D, you painted my nails blue!!!"
   
"Is this a ketchup stain on my cheongsam?!" screeched D.
   
"Kyuu...?" croaked a low voice.
   
D and Leon both stopped shouting, and turned to look at a dazed Tet-chan sitting on the floor. "Kyu?" asked Tet-chan in a puzzled tone.
   
"Oh dear," said D.
   
Leon heard a little hissing noise, and saw a slightly singed bat-bunny sitting on the floor baring its little fangs at him.
   
"Kyu, kyu!" squeaked Tet-chan.
   
"Grrrr," growled Q-chan.
   
"I'm outa here!" shouted Leon, running for the door.
   
"Well, this should be interesting..." said Ten-chan.

THE END.