geri_chan | Movie review: The Immortals

I went to see The Immortals today with some friends, and the friend who chose the movie apologized to us afterwards because it was so bad. Although it was almost worth the price of admission because I was quite entertained by his rantings after the movie was over: "I didn't know they had silicon implants in ancient Greece! And why are the Greek gods so wussy?!"

The movie is loosely--very loosely--based on the Greek legend about Theseus and the Minotaur, although it bears almost no resemblance to the original story. There was a lot of gore and violence, and I was prepared for that to some extent, though not quite for the level of explicit torture that was shown, so it was kind of over my threshold for that sort of thing. But what really bugged my friend was a bad script, uneven acting (although Stephen Dorf was great in the role of a charming rogue who befriends Theseus), and Greek Gods who looked more like young fashion models and wore these weird gold headdresses. My friend complained that Zeus doesn't look or act anything like the Zeus of mythology: "Where's his beard? And why is he fighting with chains instead of a lightning bolt?" Actually, I liked Zeus, even though I agree that he wasn't very Zeus-like. I liked how he watched over Theseus in a fatherly sort of way while disguised as an old man (because the gods are forbidden to directly intervene in human affairs). In fact, I thought at first that he was Theseus's real father, although that turned out not to be true. (I think it would have been a good plot twist given how many children the mythological Zeus sired on human women, but the movie didn't portray this Zeus as a womanizer.) I also liked the younger actor who played Zeus in his true form; he had a nice sense of charisma and was one of the better actors in the film, although I didn't feel that he had a commanding enough presence for someone who's supposed to be the king of the gods. Mickey Rourke did a decent job as an over the top, utterly evil villain, but his talents are pretty much wasted on this film.

I suppose it was okay if you just want a mindless action film, but I'd still advise you not to waste your money because there are better mindless action films out there. The Expendables, for example, didn't have much of a plot, either, but was much more entertaining to watch.