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Where the Dead Pause and the Japanese Say Goodbye
Continuing with the "Outsiders in Japan" theme, today I'm reccing a book by Marie Mutsuki Mockett called Where the Dead Pause and the Japanese Say Goodbye. The official summary reads: Marie Mutsuki Mockett’s family owns a Buddhist temple 25 miles from the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant. In March 2011, after the earthquake and tsunami, radiation levels prohibited the burial of her Japanese grandfather’s bones. As Japan mourned thousands of people lost in the disaster, Mockett also grieved for her American father, who had died unexpectedly.
The daughter of a Japanese mother and an American father, Mockett began researching Zen Buddhism as she tried to cope with her grief, visiting various temples and priests--some stern, some friendly, some eccentric. She also took part in an NHK documentary called Veneration for the Departed that showed how survivors of the 311 disaster were coping with their grief. (I couldn't find an online video of it, but there is a transcript here.)
Although the author is half Japanese, speaks the language fluently, and had visited Japan many times, she was often told during her research trips that she could not fully understand Japanese culture, religion, etc. because she is a foreigner and not really Japanese, something that was at times frustrating for her.
As with Yokohama Yankee and At Home in Japan, mentioned in the previous days' posts, the book touches briefly on the issue of adoption. There was no male heir to take over the family temple, so Mockett's mother was expected to take a groom who would marry into the family and take over as the head priest. However, she fell in love with Mockett's father, ruining that plan, so eventually Mockett's aunt (or maybe great-aunt; not sure since I don't have the book on hand at the moment) adopted an adult heir who took over the temple. After being adopted, that man, now the head priest, cut off all ties with his biological family. When Mockett asked him why he had to go so far, he said that it was necessary in order to fully commit to his new family and responsibilities.
Some of the reviews mention that the book sometimes rambles on in a non-linear manner, but that makes sense for an account of the journey of someone dealing with personal grief: there are no simple, easy answers to the questions of how to get over the death of a loved one or what happens to us after we die, and I never felt bored or confused by the narrative. I found Mockett's observations of Buddhism and Japanese culture to be fascinating, and her story to be very moving. It's filled with a sense of sorrow, as one would expect, but there is also humor to balance the grief, and a deep sense of love for her family.
I highly recommend the book, and now I plan to read her novel Picking Bones from Ash when I have time. (Although that's probably going to have to wait till next year, since I'm currently busy working on my story for the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
yuletide fest.)
The daughter of a Japanese mother and an American father, Mockett began researching Zen Buddhism as she tried to cope with her grief, visiting various temples and priests--some stern, some friendly, some eccentric. She also took part in an NHK documentary called Veneration for the Departed that showed how survivors of the 311 disaster were coping with their grief. (I couldn't find an online video of it, but there is a transcript here.)
Although the author is half Japanese, speaks the language fluently, and had visited Japan many times, she was often told during her research trips that she could not fully understand Japanese culture, religion, etc. because she is a foreigner and not really Japanese, something that was at times frustrating for her.
As with Yokohama Yankee and At Home in Japan, mentioned in the previous days' posts, the book touches briefly on the issue of adoption. There was no male heir to take over the family temple, so Mockett's mother was expected to take a groom who would marry into the family and take over as the head priest. However, she fell in love with Mockett's father, ruining that plan, so eventually Mockett's aunt (or maybe great-aunt; not sure since I don't have the book on hand at the moment) adopted an adult heir who took over the temple. After being adopted, that man, now the head priest, cut off all ties with his biological family. When Mockett asked him why he had to go so far, he said that it was necessary in order to fully commit to his new family and responsibilities.
Some of the reviews mention that the book sometimes rambles on in a non-linear manner, but that makes sense for an account of the journey of someone dealing with personal grief: there are no simple, easy answers to the questions of how to get over the death of a loved one or what happens to us after we die, and I never felt bored or confused by the narrative. I found Mockett's observations of Buddhism and Japanese culture to be fascinating, and her story to be very moving. It's filled with a sense of sorrow, as one would expect, but there is also humor to balance the grief, and a deep sense of love for her family.
I highly recommend the book, and now I plan to read her novel Picking Bones from Ash when I have time. (Although that's probably going to have to wait till next year, since I'm currently busy working on my story for the
yuletide fest.)