Scars, Part 17b

[geri_chan]

Rating: NC-17 overall

Pairings: Snape/Lupin, Ash/Tsubasa; also a little Theodore/Blaise, Dylan/Hermione, and Aric/Takeshi

Author's note: {} Indicates character's unspoken thoughts; [] indicates song lyrics.

Disclaimer: Based on the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling; song lyrics are from "Scars" by Papa Roach and "Animal I Have Become" by Three Days Grace. No money is being made off this story; consider it a little wish fulfillment on my part.

Warning: AU. This story contains a character from Half-Blood Prince, but does not follow the HBP storyline.

Sequel to: Always, Summer Vacation, For Old Time's Sake, Three's a Crowd, Return of the Raven, Phoenix Reborn, Phoenix Rising, Aftermaths, The Revenant, Ash's Story, and Summer Vacation III.

Summary: Ash disappears and Dawlish threatens to issue a warrant for his arrest, so Harry, Tonks, and Shacklebolt enlist the aid of Snape, Lupin, Lukas, and Tsubasa to find him. This chapter focuses mainly on Ash, although Snape and Lupin play a minor role in it.

Part 17a

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The wolf had been alone in its den, howling its grief, when the humans arrived. It did not recall when and how it had come to the den, which smelled familiar but musty, as if it had not been used in some time, and neither did the wolf know exactly why it was grieving. It only knew that it was in pain, and it gave voice to that pain with its howls.

Then it heard footsteps and voices, and the wolf growled, torn between a primal instinct to attack the humans it could hear and smell outside its den, and a stronger urge that told it to hide, the same urge that had driven it here to this den.

The voices called out to him, coaxingly at first, and then a familiar voice shouted, "He's going to send out a squad of Hit Wizards to bring you back dead or alive, so get your arse out here right now, Ash!" The wolf did not understand the words, but the sharp note of command in that voice was clear, and the wolf automatically took a few steps forward before it growled in rebellion, and then whined unhappily. Even though the voice was human, it carried the authority of a pack leader, and the wolf's instincts were telling it to obey. But again, its pain and its irrational but overpowering urge to hide prevented it from acting on its normal instincts.

And then the bushes shielding the entrance of the den suddenly exploded, and the wolf yelped in fear and surprise, and it retreated as far back into the den as it could. And then it got another shock, as one of the humans dove headfirst into its den, shouting, "Ash!"

The wolf growled at the intruder, and the human froze, murmuring, "It's all right, Ash. It's me, Tsubasa; I'm not going to hurt you."

The wolf growled again. The urge to attack was stronger this time, with the human crouching right in front of it, but its scent was vaguely familiar, and the soothing tone of its voice calmed the wolf slightly.

The human extended its hand, and the wolf cautiously stepped forward and sniffed it. The scent of human flesh aroused its bloodlust and its need to pass on its curse, but there was something else, something strange and yet familiar underlying the human scent that aroused an entirely different instinct, one that made it want to protect the human.

The wolf lunged forward and knocked the human over, snarling as it felt itself torn between two contradictory urges. And then the human tilted its head back and exposed its throat, signaling submission, and the wolf calmed slightly. It lowered its nose until it touched the skin of the human's throat and chest, the small area not covered by the human's clothing, and it inhaled deeply. There was the strong scent of human flesh, of course, made even stronger by the scent of sweat and fear--a male scent, the wolf noted--but there was something else beneath it, something not quite human...something strange and exotic. The man in the cave smelled like...the wolf's mind struggled to comprehend. His scent made the wolf think of birds in flight, or a summer breeze, or a crisp, chill wind whipping through the air on an autumn day. He smelled like...freedom.

The wolf whined, feeling very confused. Was the man prey, or not-prey? And there was something so familiar about his scent...the wolf lapped the beads of sweat off the man's skin, and that taste, too, was familiar.

The man exhaled in a soft sigh, and whispered, "Ash." The man's voice, like his scent and taste, was familiar, and the wolf finally relaxed. The man was not prey; he was pack, and his scent and voice and touch all made the wolf think not of killing, but of pleasure, and companionship, and comfort. It moved off the man's chest, allowing him to sit up.

Now that if felt safe, the wolf was once again overwhelmed by its grief, and it threw back its head and howled. And the man wrapped his arms around the wolf without hesitation or fear, murmuring soothingly, "Oh, Ash, my dear Ash, it's all right; I'm here."

The wolf howled and howled, while the man held it and petted it and whispered soothing words until finally, it was too exhausted to howl any longer, and it lay down, letting its head fall onto the man's lap. The man continued to whisper soothingly, and his fingers stroked the wolf's fur, starting on the top of its head and running down its back, occasionally pausing to scratch behind its ears. A contented little growl escaped from the wolf's throat, and its tail waved lazily, brushing against the dirt floor of the cave.

The wolf grew drowsy and its pain ebbed, and it was content to just lie there, head pillowed comfortably on the man's lap, with gentle fingers petting and scratching it. It did not know how long it lay there, although it seemed like a long time to the wolf, and then a voice called out anxiously from outside the cave, "Tsubasa, are you all right? Is Ash all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine, Remus," the man called back. "He recognizes me, I think; he won't hurt me. But..." The man's voice grew distressed, and the wolf blinked and looked up at him. "He's still in wolf form, and it doesn't seem like he's going to change back anytime soon. I...I'm afraid that he may have forgotten that he's really a man, and he could be trapped in his wolf form. Such things happen occasionally among my people."

The voice from outside the cave said, "Seiji, the leader of the Japanese werewolves, told me that sometimes a traumatic event, like the death of a mate or child, can cause a werewolf to lose his or her desire to remain human. And Animagi can forget what it's like to be human if they remain in their animal forms for too long."

"So what should we do?" a female voice asked. "We can't bring him to the Ministry like this; Dawlish will lock him up for sure!"

"Maybe I should come in and try to talk to him," the authoritative voice of the pack leader said. "And if necessary, give him a good cuff or two. I think he'll recognize me as pack leader even in human form, and his bite can't hurt me."

"But it can hurt me," the man said. "If you startle him, he might lash out and bite or scratch me without meaning to, and besides, the cave isn't really big enough to hold three people, anyway."

"Well then, what should we do?" the pack leader growled in frustration.

"Keep talking to him, Tsubasa," the first voice urged. "Call him back to you. You're his mate; I think he'll answer your call."

"I'm not..." The man's voice trailed off.

"You may not have made any verbal commitments to each other," the other voice said gently. "But I think that the wolf, in its heart, recognizes you as its mate."

"Ash," the man said hesitantly, his hand pausing in its petting and scratching to rest on top of the wolf's head. "Ash, you need to remember that you're a man as well as a wolf. Come back to us."

"You need to speak with more conviction," the pack leader said sharply. "In its primal state, the wolf understands emotions more than it does words, and it won't respond to anything so halfhearted."

The man cursed under his breath, muttering something about baring his heart in front of strangers, and the wolf whined uneasily, responding to the anger in his voice. Then the man sighed and gently cradled the wolf's head in his hands, raising it off his lap so that he could look directly into the wolf's eyes.

"Ash," the man said, with more urgency this time. "Ash, please come back to us. Please...come back to ME! I..." The man's voice faltered and cracked. "I need you," he whispered. "Come back to me, Ash."

The wolf whined and pulled its head out of his grasp, dropping back down onto the man's lap so that it would not have to see the pleading, almost accusing look in his eyes. It laid back its ears, but it could not shut out the man's voice, which continued to call out, "Ash, come back to me, Ash," over and over again.

The wolf whined again. It vaguely knew that the word the man kept repeating--"Ash"--was its name, or rather, the name that belonged to the human part of it. But "Ash" did not want to remember that he was a man; it was Ash's grief that the wolf had been howling, and it was that grief that had caused Ash to surrender control of his mind and body, allowing the wolf to become dominant.

But human thoughts were beginning to stir in the wolf's mind, filling it with a sense of anxiety, causing it to whimper and whine. Meanwhile, the man continued to call out Ash's name, with increasing franticness, until he was outright sobbing, "Ash! Ash, please, please come back to me! Please come back to me, Ash; I need you! Please, Ash, please..."

Something warm and wet fell onto the wolf's face, and its tongue automatically darted out to lick away the moisture, which tasted of salt...not sweat this time, but tears. The man...Tsubasa...was weeping. The wolf raised its head to lick Tsubasa's face, wiping the tears away with its tongue.

Instead of being comforted, Tsubasa began to cry even harder, wrapping his arms tightly around the wolf, burying his face in the thick ruff of fur around its neck, calling out its name in a muffled voice.

The wolf howled in pain as its bones began to twist and crack as its body reshaped itself, and the howl gradually shifted into a human groan. But Tsubasa continued to hold on to Ash tightly, not once letting go of him as he transformed from wolf to human.

"Tsubasa," Ash croaked in a hoarse voice; the word felt strange coming out of his throat, as if he had forgotten how to speak during the short time that he had been a wolf.

"Ash!" Tsubasa exclaimed, pulling back to stare at Ash's face with a look of incredulous joy, as if he could not believe that Ash was really human. Then he kissed Ash soundly and embraced him again.

"I'm sorry," Ash whispered, the salty-sweet taste of tears still lingering on his lips.

And then Snape called out, in his typically sarcastic voice, "Professor Tsubasa? Are you still alive in there? Ow! What was that for, Lupin?"

"Behave yourself, Severus," Lupin said sternly. "Tsubasa, Ash, are you all right?"

"Yes," Tsubasa laughed in a shaky voice, drying his face on the sleeve of his kimono. "I'm fine, and so is Ash."

They crawled out of the cave and were greeted with looks of relief on the faces of their companions, except for Snape, who was scowling as he crouched down to rub his shin. He glared accusingly at his mate, but Lupin just smiled back at him unrepentantly.

"Are you both all right?" Lukas asked anxiously. "Tsubasa, you haven't been bitten or scratched?"

"I'm fine," Tsubasa repeated. "The wolf did not harm me, not even the slightest scratch, and there is no chance at all that I've been infected."

"Good," Lukas said, and without warning, pulled back his right arm and punched Tsubasa in the face. Tsubasa cried out, stumbling backwards as he clutched at his face with one hand, thin streams of blood trickling out from between his fingers.

Lupin quickly darted forward to catch Tsubasa by the arm, steadying him and helping him regain his balance, and Ash snarled and lunged forward at Lukas. To attack his pack leader was something that Ash would have considered unthinkable a day, or even an hour before, but the wolf went into a blind rage at the sight of its mate being attacked.

He caught Lukas off-guard, knocking him off his feet, and the two of them rolled around on the ground, striking and kicking and clawing at each other. The others began shouting at them to stop, but both werewolves ignored them. Ash felt a stinging pain as Lukas's fingernails raked across his cheek, and he struck back, splitting open his pack leader's lip. Lukas lifted his arm, whether to attack or defend was not clear, but Ash did not wait to find out, and sank his teeth into the other man's forearm. Lukas howled with pain and brought up his knee sharply into Ash's stomach, knocking the breath out of him.

"ENOUGH!" Snape shouted. "Incarcerous!"

Two sets of ropes flew out of Snape's wand; one of them wrapped around Ash, and the other wrapped around Lukas, binding them and pulling them apart from each other. The Potions Master looked down at the struggling werewolves and said coolly, "Now, do you think that the two of you can stop trying to kill each other long enough to listen to reason?"

Tsubasa stepped into view; his nose looked a little crooked, and blood was still trickling out of his nostrils, but he didn't seem to be seriously injured. "Lukas was angry with me, and rightfully so," he said. "I rushed in without thinking and put both you and myself in danger. If you had harmed me, it would have given Dawlish an excuse to arrest you, maybe even execute you. If I had been thinking straight, I would have let Lukas or Remus go in the cave to help you, since a werewolf's bite can't hurt them, but I was thinking with my heart, not my head." He smiled at Ash, in a slightly rueful, but also tender manner.

"Damn right," Lukas growled, but he had stopped struggling, and no longer seemed quite so angry.

"So don't be mad at Lukas; he was only defending his beloved pack brother," Tsubasa continued.

"Are the two of you going to behave?" Snape asked sourly. Lukas and Ash both nodded, and Snape flicked his wand at them, and the ropes vanished.

Ash bowed his head and mumbled, "Sorry, I was an idiot."

"Yes, you were," Lukas said affectionately, and boxed him on the ear. Ash winced slightly, but accepted the blow without complaint.

"I'll never understand werewolves," Shacklebolt muttered, shaking his head.

"You should try living with one," Snape said dryly.

"And Lukas, you shouldn't be so hard on Ash," Lupin gently chided. "It's only natural for a wolf to defend its mate, after all."

Tsubasa blushed, and so did Ash. "I suppose so," Lukas conceded, with a smile that managed to be both annoyed and amused at the same time.

"I think your nose is broken," Lupin said, giving Tsubasa a concerned look. "But I'm sure that Madam Pomfrey will be able to heal it."

"And fix up your handsome face as good as new," Tonks added, winking at Tsubasa. "So that your many admirers won't be devastated."

"My tengu friends always said that I was too pretty for my own good, anyway," Tsubasa chuckled.

"While Professor Tsubasa is getting his nose fixed, we need to get you back to the Ministry," Shacklebolt told Ash impatiently. "Dawlish is convinced that you ran off because you're guilty, and if you don't come in of your own accord soon, he's going to issue a warrant for your arrest."

"I'll go with you," Tsubasa instantly said.

"But--" Lupin said, but Tsubasa waved off his protests.

"My nose can wait; I want to stay with Ash," he said, sounding as fiercely protective as any of Ash's pack brothers or sisters. There were times in the past when Ash had feared his wolf-self, but as a wolf, he had never felt weak. That was one comfort amidst all the disadvantages of being a werewolf, at least to a child who had always been at the rather dubious mercy of others before he had been accepted into Lukas's pack. The wolf was strong and dangerous, and Lukas had taught a young Ash how to fight and defend himself, until he had grown into a man nearly as dangerous as the wolf.

But Ash did not feel strong right now. He felt small, and humbled, and deeply ashamed of himself. He had no idea what he had done to deserve Tsubasa's loyalty, that the crane man should risk his life to call him back to humanity after the way he had treated Tsubasa.

"Here," Snape said, pulling a vial out of his pocket and handing it to Tsubasa. "I usually keep a bit of healing potion or salve on hand, since the students at Hogwarts are always coming up with new ways to injure themselves, not to mention blow up my classroom."

"You're always prepared, Severus," Lupin said admiringly.

"One of us has to be," Snape replied condescendingly. Harry glared at him, but Lupin just laughed and smiled at his lover fondly.

Tsubasa accepted the vial and swallowed its contents, and within seconds, the bleeding stopped and his nose seemed to straighten itself. He gingerly touched it, and judging by the way he winced, it still felt a bit tender.

"You should probably have Pomfrey heal you completely when you get back, but that will at least start the process," Snape said. He gave both Ash and Tsubasa a disapproving frown. "And you should probably clean yourselves up before you go to the Ministry--and you, too, Diggory. Dawlish will probably arrest you on the spot if you show up looking like that."

Ash belatedly realized that his robes, like Tsubasa's and Lukas's, were rumpled and covered with dirt, not to mention spatters of blood. Tsubasa's face and hand were also covered with blood, and quite a few wolf hairs clung to his clothing. They exchanged sheepish looks, and cast a few quick cleaning spells, making themselves more-or-less presentable. Fortunately, werewolves healed quickly; the scratches on Ash's face were already fading. Lukas's lip was still a bit swollen, although the torn flesh had fused back together, and a bit of healing salve provided by Snape made the swelling go down.

"If Dawlish hears that Ash turned into a wolf..." Harry said uneasily, and everyone's gaze seemed to shift to John Zeller; Ash had not even realized that his former friend had been present until that moment.

"I won't say anything to Mr. Dawlish," John said quietly. "If he asks, I'll just say that Master Ethan came to grieve at his childhood hiding place, which is true enough." He turned to look at Ash, and his eyes were filled with sorrow and guilt. "I owe you that much, at least."

"You owe him that, and a hell of a lot more," Lukas growled.

"Yes," John agreed. "I am truly sorry, Ethan, that I didn't protect you when you were a child."

Ash was too weary to feel any of the old resentment and anger right now. "Ethan is dead," he said in a hollow voice. "He died in the werewolf attack, and was reborn in the slums of Knockturn Alley as Ash. Ethan no longer exists."

"Come," Tonks said gently, taking his hand. "We must return to the Ministry."

Tsubasa rather possessively took hold of Ash's other hand, which pleased the wolf, dormant for the moment, but still present inside him. He was too tired to Apparate, so he let Tonks and Tsubasa Apparate him along with them, and John's troubled gaze was the last thing he saw before he vanished.

Back at the Ministry, Dawlish was indeed in a fury. Morrigan De Lacy was there, and so was Arthur Weasley, trying to calm him down and prevent him from sending out the Hit Wizards. Ash let the Auror rant and rave for a few minutes, but he knew that he was too exhausted to go through a lengthy interrogation, so he finally interrupted and said, "If I swear under Truth Potion that I didn't murder my parents, will that be good enough for you, Dawlish?"

Both Dawlish and Morrigan seemed taken aback. "Well..." Dawlish said.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Mr. Randolf?" Morrigan asked.

"I just want this to be over with," Ash replied wearily.

"It's uncommon, but there are ways that people can get around Truth Potion," Dawlish said, but he sounded unsure of himself, and no longer certain of Ash's guilt.

"Really?" Harry asked, sounding startled.

Snape nodded, giving the boy another one of those condescending looks. "If a wizard is prepared, he can cast a spell to close up his throat to avoid swallowing the potion, or Transfigure it into a harmless substance, although that requires a degree of skill that most wizards lack. Occlumency can also be used to foil the effects of the Truth Potion, but again, it requires a great deal of skill, and the wizard must be able to shield himself before the potion enters his system. However, if you take away Randolf's wand, he won't be able to cast any spells. Someone very talented in Occlumency can practice it without a wand, to a limited degree, but as Randolf was never formally educated at Hogwarts or any other school, I doubt that he would have had the chance to learn Occlumency at all. Therefore, the potion should prove effective on him, in my professional opinion as a Potions Master."

"Very well," Dawlish agreed reluctantly.

"Since my client is taking the Truth Potion voluntarily, I want you to agree in advance that you will only question him about the murders, and not about any other crimes that he might have committed in the past," Morrigan said sternly.

"That seems fair enough," Arthur said pleasantly, and Dawlish scowled, but nodded his agreement.

Under the Minister's watchful eye, Dawlish kept his promise, and the interrogation was over quickly, with Ash confirming that he had no part in the murders, nor any prior knowledge of them.

"There!" Arthur said cheerfully. "Now that Ash's innocence has been proven, you can rule him out and concentrate on other suspects."

Dawlish scowled, but did not point out to the Minister that he had no other suspects to focus on. "You can go for now, Randolf," he said grudgingly, handing Ash back his wand. "But I'll be keeping an eye on you, so don't travel far."

"He'll be at Hogwarts with me," Tsubasa said coolly, taking Ash by the arm and leading him towards the Floo. Dawlish raised his eyebrows while Tonks giggled and Lupin grinned. Tsubasa ignored them and cast a handful of Floo Powder into the fireplace, and they stepped through the green flames and emerged in a room that appeared to be Tsubasa's personal quarters at the school.

"Stay with me, at least until this mess is over," Tsubasa said, and his tone of voice, gentle but firm, seemed to make it half a request and half an order. Ash nodded meekly in response. Tsubasa took off his swords and set them aside, then with a weary sigh, sank down onto a couch that sat in front of the fireplace. Ash cautiously knelt down on the floor at his feet, feeling uncertain of his welcome despite Tsubasa's invitation.

Tsubasa gave him a bemused look and patted a cushion on the couch, saying, "You can sit here beside me, if you like." Ash just shook his head, and then laid his head down on Tsubasa's lap. After a moment's hesitation, Tsubasa began to stroke his hair, as gently and soothingly as he had petted the wolf back in the cave, and a little growl of contentment escaped Ash's lips.

They remained like that for several minutes, the silence punctuated by only a few quiet growls, until finally Ash whispered, "I'm sorry. I treated you badly, and yet you still came to me when I was in trouble. You risked your life to call me back and make me human again, when I might have been lost to the wolf forever otherwise. Thank you, and...I'm sorry."

"I should apologize, too," Tsubasa said quietly, still stroking Ash's hair.

"Apologize?" Ash asked, startled. "What for?"

"You kept pushing me away from you, but I was holding you at arm's length, too," Tsubasa replied. "But it was easier for me to put the blame on you and tell myself that it was all your fault."

"I don't understand," Ash said.

"Do you remember how I told you that my father tried to drown both himself and me after my mother died?"

"Yes, but you said that you'd forgiven him for that."

"I did forgive him," Tsubasa said quietly. "But I have never forgotten. The crane folk believe passionately in true love that lasts until death, and even beyond. But ever since that day, I think I have been afraid to fall in love. The thought of loving someone so much that I would kill not just myself, but my own child, is terrifying to me, although I haven't really admitted it to myself until now. It was easy to take only casual lovers, telling myself that I hadn't yet met the right person--until I met you. I began to realize that I could love you that much if I let myself, and that scared me. So when you pushed me away, I was sincerely angry and hurt, but also secretly relieved."

Ash barked out a laugh--a harsh, mirthless sound. "So we're both pretty screwed up, huh?"

"So it would seem," Tsubasa replied, with a faint, sad smile, still running his fingers through Ash's hair. They fell silent again, but after a few minutes, Tsubasa asked hesitantly, "Ash...?"

"Hmm?" Ash replied drowsily. His life was a mess, and he didn't know what was going to happen between himself and Tsubasa, but still, his inner wolf felt safe and content, comforted by the gentle touch of Tsubasa's hand.

"Why didn't you attack me in the cave? Did you know it was me?"

Ash frowned, trying to recall what the wolf had been thinking, although its memories seemed blurred and hazy to his human self. "Your scent seemed familiar to the wolf, but there was something more...it hesitated, because you don't smell entirely human."

"Really?"

"Yes, I noticed it when I first met you, although I couldn't quite put my finger on what exactly was different, but it's clearer to the wolf, who has a much keener sense of smell. To the wolf, you smell like flight, and the wind, and freedom. Like...well, like a bird, I suppose."

"Well, I am a bird, in a sense, so I guess that's only natural," Tsubasa said, sounding amused. His fingers gently rubbed behind Ash's ears, as if he were still a wolf, and Ash shivered with pleasure.

"The wolf has wanted you as its mate ever since I first laid eyes on you," Ash whispered hoarsely. "That day in the classroom, the last time I saw you, it was angry and impatient. Not with you, but with me. It couldn't figure out what the hell I was waiting for. It was so strong that it just overwhelmed me...maybe because I secretly wanted the same thing that the wolf wanted." He shivered again, with both fear and desire. "But I could have hurt you, Tsubasa."

Tsubasa's hand stilled for a moment, then resumed stroking Ash's hair. "No, I don't think so," Tsubasa said slowly. "The wolf was in complete control earlier back in the cave, not even under the influence of Wolfsbane Potion, and still, you didn't harm me. If you wouldn't hurt me under those circumstances, I don't think that you would hurt me at all."

"I suppose," Ash muttered doubtfully, not feeling anywhere near as confident about that. There were different ways of hurting people, and not all of them left visible scars. "So...what are we going to do now?"

"Well, I suppose that we will have to learn to live together," Tsubasa replied, smiling at him a little sadly, and a little anxiously. "Since we don't seem to be able to live apart."

Ash wasn't sure how they were going to manage that, but he didn't argue, and eventually fell asleep there on Tsubasa's lap, lulled into slumber by his mate's caresses.
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"Ash?" Tsubasa murmured, but the werewolf was sound asleep. No doubt he was exhausted after everything he'd been through. "Let's put you to bed, then," Tsubasa said with a tender smile, drawing his wand from his pocket. "Mobilicorpus." Ash stirred slightly, but did not wake as his body levitated into the air. Tsubasa guided the sleeping werewolf into the bedroom, gently lowered him down onto the bed, undressed him, and tucked him under the covers.

"Sleep well, my precious wolf," Tsubasa whispered, pressing his lips against Ash's forehead. He sent a brief message to the Headmaster, asking him to cancel the rest of his classes for the day, and then he crawled into bed with Ash. The werewolf seemed to sense his presence, even in his sleep, and automatically moved closer, resting his head against Tsubasa's chest and wrapping an arm around his waist. Tsubasa wrapped his arms around Ash, returning the embrace, and for the first time in his life, he felt whole, as if he had found a piece of himself that he hadn't realized he was missing until now. Tears filled his eyes, and his heart was filled to bursting with equal amounts of joy and terror.

"I think I can understand now how you felt, Father," he whispered, but he wasn't sure that was a good thing. He didn't think that he would kill himself if something happened to Ash, but the loss of his friend...his mate...would leave an emptiness inside him that he wasn't sure could ever be filled.

Ash, at least, was sleeping soundly, his features relaxed and content in a way that Tsubasa had never seen when he was awake. He sighed and gently kissed the scar on Ash's face, and despite his worries, eventually drifted off to sleep as well.
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Ash didn't know how long he slept, but it was dark when he awoke to the sound of arguing voices, although light from the drawing room spilled in through the half-open door of the bedroom. He noticed that there was a depression next to him in the mattress, and when he reached out to touch the sheets, he noticed that they were still warm, as if the bed had only just been recently vacated.

"...needs him now!" a woman's voice was saying angrily.

"And I said that he's resting!" Tsubasa retorted in a hushed voice. "He's been through a lot--he's had to deal with his estranged family, and been falsely accused as a suspect in his parents' murders, not to mention the fact that he was forced to view their mutilated bodies!"

"Well, Miss Madley has been through a lot, too!" the woman snapped, not making any attempt to be quiet, although Tsubasa hissed at her to keep her voice down. "Both of her parents have been murdered in the space of a month, and she's now an orphan! She's in hysterics, and she wants to see her brother!"

"I'm very sorry for Miss Madley, but my first priority is Ash's well-being," Tsubasa said implacably.

"And mine is Laura's!" the woman shot back.

Well, he clearly wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep, so Ash sighed and climbed out of bed. He discovered that he was clad only in his underwear, but he found his clothes draped neatly across a nearby chair, and quickly got dressed.

"What's going on?" he asked as he walked into the drawing room, combing his fingers through his hair.

Tsubasa turned towards him, giving him a concerned look. His clothes were wrinkled, as if he'd slept in them, and his hair was unbound, freed from its usual topknot, hanging loose down to his waist. He looked tired, rumpled, worried, and angry--and absolutely beautiful. The woman that he was arguing with was a short, stout witch with gray hair and a stern expression on her face. "Are you Ash Randolf?" she demanded

"Yes," Ash replied cautiously. "Who's asking?"

"Professor Pomona Sprout, Head of Hufflepuff," the woman replied curtly. "I'm Laura Madley's Head of House. The news of her father's murder, coming so soon after her mother's, has left her understandably distraught. She's been asking for you."

"But I barely know her," Ash protested. "I only just met her last month, and we didn't exactly part on good terms."

"I know," Sprout said impatiently, "but you're all the family she has left."

"But what about her grandparents, or has something happened to them as well?" Ash asked, suddenly wondering if they might have been killed while he was sleeping. No, surely not, or it would be Dawlish showing up on Tsubasa's doorstep looking for him, not this professor. "And my moth...I mean, Rosalind had a brother, and cousins, if I'm not mistaken..."

"The Parkers refuse to have anything to do with Laura," Sprout said disgustedly, but her anger didn't seem to be directed at him. "They're afraid that the murderer will come after them next if they take in Laura as they should, as her next-of-kin."

"But what about my...her father's parents?" Ash asked, feeling confused. He remembered the elder Madleys as kind people, who had treated their step-grandson as if he were their own flesh and blood. Surely they wouldn't turn their backs on Laura.

Sprout's expression softened, and she gave him an almost sympathetic look. "You didn't know? No, I suppose you wouldn't, since you've been out of touch with your family. Laura's paternal grandparents were killed in a car crash about two years ago." She shuddered. "I never thought those Muggle contraptions were safe; I can't imagine how anyone could ride in them." She shook her head, as if to clear her thoughts. "Anyway, there are no relatives left who are willing to take Laura in, let alone comfort her, poor child." She glared at Ash and said in a steely voice, "So go see your sister, Mr. Randolf. Whatever her parents may have done to wrong you, she is innocent and had no part in it."

Ash took a deep breath, then said, "Very well."

"Are you sure, Ash?" Tsubasa asked anxiously, laying a comforting hand on his arm. "You don't have to do this."

"Yes, he does!" Sprout insisted.

"It's all right," Ash told Tsubasa. "I need to do this." It wasn't something that he particularly wanted to do, but for the first time, he felt a kind of kinship with Laura. He remembered what it had felt like to be all alone, when he had been living in Knockturn Alley as a runaway child before Lukas had taken him in. He remembered how lonely and miserable and frightened he had felt, and he had been a much less sheltered child than Laura. He at least had his pack now, even if his blood relatives had betrayed him, and he even had a few friends outside the pack who cared enough to come looking for him today, to help him avoid being arrested: Tonks, Shacklebolt, Harry, and Lupin and Snape. Well, maybe Snape didn't count, since he had probably only come along for Lupin's sake, but still, whatever his reasons, he had shown up to help.

And of course there was Tsubasa, who was something more than a friend, but not quite a lover. Yet. But that was something they would have to work out later.

Tsubasa gazed into his eyes, and must have been reassured by what he saw there, because he relaxed slightly. "If you're sure, then," he said. "Do you want me to come with you?"

Ash hesitated, then replied, "No," although he would have liked Tsubasa's company. "I think I should talk to her alone."

Tsubasa smiled at him, still looking a little concerned, but also approving. He embraced Ash and gave him a quick kiss, murmuring, "I'll wait here, then. But you can call me through the Floo if you need me."

Sprout seemed unfazed; either Snape and Lupin had accustomed the Hogwarts staff to gay relationships, or she was too concerned about her student to be shocked. In any case, all she said was, "Come along, then," in a brisk, but not unkind voice.

Ash expected her to lead him to the dormitories, but instead she led him down the corridor to her own quarters, which looked much the same as Tsubasa's, except that it was filled with potted plants, and plants hanging from the ceiling in baskets. Laura was curled up on the couch, hugging her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth and weeping inconsolably.

"Miss Madley," Sprout said softly as they entered the room, and Laura looked up. Her eyes were red from crying, and her eyelids were puffy and swollen, as if she'd been crying for hours.

"Ash!" she shouted, then jumped up from the couch and ran over and flung her arms around him. A little startled by the strength of her reaction, Ash awkwardly returned the embrace, wrapping his arms around her gingerly. One thing that he was pleasantly surprised by, though, was that she had called him "Ash" instead of "Ethan". It made him feel a little better, as if Laura was finally beginning to see his real self, instead of the imaginary brother she had created in her daydreams.

Sprout patted him on the shoulder, regarding him in a much more friendly manner than she had earlier, and said, "Just treat her as if she were a member of your family...a member of your pack. I'll give the two of you some privacy now, but I'll be right in the next room if Laura needs me." Then she quietly slipped into the next room--presumably, the bedroom, if her quarters were laid out in the same manner as Tsubasa's--and closed the door.

He hadn't expected an ordinary human to understand how a wolf felt, but Sprout's advice was surprisingly helpful. He thought about how Lukas had comforted him as a child, when he had first been taken into the pack, and of how, over the years, he had comforted and been comforted by his pack brothers and sisters for various reasons--failed jobs, failed romances, estrangements from their families. He remembered how he had once consoled Celine when she had come home in tears because the neighborhood children refused to play with the daughter of a werewolf.

His arms folded around her in a more natural embrace now, holding her tightly, and he murmured, "Shh, little sister, it's all right. I know things seem horrible right now, but they will get better, I promise."

Laura clung to Ash, sobbing incoherently against his chest, and he let her. He held her and made soothing noises every now and then--much as Tsubasa had done for him, he thought with a touch of ironic amusement. After awhile, her cries began to taper off into little gasps and whimpers, and she sagged in his arms, as if she were about to faint, so Ash sat down on the couch, still cradling Laura in his arms.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled. "I accused you of lying, but all those things you said about Mother and Father were true, weren't they?"

"Yes," Ash replied softly. This time he felt no triumph at having forced his half-sister to see the truth, only pity. "But I'm sorry, too, for the things I said to you. I was angry at them, but I took it out on you, and that was wrong."

"Thank you for coming to see me," Laura whispered. "I know I shouldn't have bothered you. I'm a stranger to you, after all, and Mother and Father...well, I know you have reason to hate them. But...but...I couldn't think of anyone else to call! I'm sorry!"

She began to weep again, and Ash gently stroked her hair and said, "It's all right; I don't mind."

"You...don't hate me for mourning them?" Laura asked hesitantly, tears trickling down her face. By now, her eyelids were swollen nearly shut, and it must have been physically painful for her to weep. "I know they were cruel to you, but they're my parents and I can't help loving them..."

"I know," Ash said quietly. "I didn't want to, but I couldn't help grieving for Father, too. He was the first person who was ever kind to me, even if he was only using me to get closer to Rosalind. I hated him, but when I was a child, I loved him. I tried so hard to be a good son to him." He smiled sadly, with just a touch of bitterness. "Do you remember that book of fairy tales you brought with you? I was so happy to be adopted that I wrote my new name in all of my books."

"I'm so sorry, Ash," Laura whispered. "I don't know why Father did what he did. I wish we could have grown up together as brother and sister."

Ash shrugged. "It's not your fault. Things between Rosalind and Madley were...complicated. Looking back, I think he knew all along that she didn't really love him, but as long as she was grateful, he was content." He fell silent for a moment, realizing for the first time that he and his stepfather had been alike in that respect, both willing to accept the pretense of love in lieu of the real thing. "But Rosalind couldn't forget that she'd married beneath herself, so she resented him, and he resented her, and you and I got caught up in the middle of that mess."

"I'm all alone now, aren't I?" Laura asked in a trembling voice. "Mother and Father are dead, and Mother's family doesn't want anything to do with me. We've never been close, anyway, because they don't like Father. And Grandma and Grandpa Madley are gone..."

"I was sorry to hear that," Ash replied quietly. "I liked them; they always treated me like their own grandchild. But you're not alone, Laura; I'm here. And since you're my sister, that means my pack are all your brothers and sisters, too."

"Your pack?" Laura asked.

Ash nodded. "They're my family--my true family, even if we're not related by blood. We've all pledged to be brothers and sisters to each other, and none of them have ever betrayed me."

"Can I still be part of your pack if I'm human?" Laura asked shyly.

"Of course," Ash said firmly. "We're not like the purebloods, who only care about pedigrees. If I claim you as family, then my pack will accept you as family as well. Besides, not everyone in the pack is a werewolf. In fact, I think my 'little sister' Celine is in your House. She's human, but she's part of the pack because her father is a werewolf."

"That's right, I nearly forgot!" Laura exclaimed, her expression brightening slightly. "So does that mean that Celine will be my little sister, too?"

"Yes," Ash replied with a smile. "She'll be thrilled to have an older sister. The other children in the pack are much younger than her, and she's often wished to have a sibling closer to her own age."

"Is...is it really all right with you, though?" Laura stammered nervously. "Th-that I'm your sister now?"

"Yes," Ash replied, filled with a sudden feeling of tenderness for his half-sister. He didn't know why his feelings had shifted so quickly; perhaps it was because she was now an orphan and an outcast, much like the werewolves. Or maybe because he was beginning to see that her resemblance to their mother was only superficial. The shape of her face was similar to Rosalind's, as was the color of her hair and eyes, but there was a kindness and concern in her hazel eyes that had never been present in Rosalind's, who had never cared for anyone but herself.

"Yes, little sister," Ash said, planting a gentle kiss on the top of her head. Laura sighed and leaned forward, resting against his chest again, and after a few minutes, she seemed to doze off.

The bedroom door opened and Sprout peered out from behind it, then tiptoed out into the drawing room. "She's all worn out, poor child," Sprout whispered, smiling sadly down at Laura in a maternal manner. "She might as well sleep here tonight; that way I can be on hand if she wakes up in the middle of the night needing a shoulder to cry on." She motioned for Ash to stand up, and he obeyed, lifting Laura in his arms as he did so. Sprout Transfigured the couch into a bed, and Ash laid his sister down on it.

Laura stirred slightly as Sprout gently applied some healing salve to her reddened, swollen eyelids and then pulled the covers up over her. "Don't go," Laura protested sleepily, reaching out for Ash.

"Don't worry, dear," Sprout said kindly. "Mr. Randolf is staying in the castle, and you can see him again tomorrow morning."

"Yes, that's right," Ash confirmed, squeezing Laura's outstretched hand reassuringly. "I'm staying with my friend, Professor Tsubasa, in the teacher's quarters. He...um...thought it would be safer for me to stay in the castle with him until the murders are solved."

"Oh," Laura said, relaxing again, although she did not let go of his hand.

"But I'll stay here with you until you fall asleep," Ash said. "And I'll stop by again in the morning before I go to work." {Assuming I still have a job,} he added silently in his mind. But although Dawlish still seemed a little suspicious of him, his Veritaserum-confirmed declaration of innocence should serve to keep him employed and, more importantly, out of Azkaban, at least for the moment.

Laura smiled at him, as sweetly and trustingly as any of the pack children, then closed her eyes, still clinging to his hand. Soon her breathing grew slow and even, and her grip slackened as she fell asleep. Ash carefully pulled his hand free and headed for the door.

"Thank you, Mr. Randolf," Sprout said softly as he left.

Ash paused to nod in acknowledgment and smile wryly. The Professor reminded him a bit of Matilda, with her gray hair and her no-nonsense manner. The way she had treated Laura--gentle and yet fiercely protective--was reminiscent of a mother wolf, too. "Celine says that she was glad to be put in Hufflepuff House, because Hufflepuffs are loyal to each other like wolves. Thank you for reminding me that Laura is part of my pack."

Sprout smiled warmly and nodded back at him, and Ash left the room and returned to Tsubasa's quarters. His friend greeted him with a quizzical look, staring intently into his eyes, then smiled with relief. "You seem at peace with yourself, Ash," Tsubasa observed.

"I am," Ash replied, a little surprised to realize that it was true, despite the turmoil that his life was in. "Thanks to you."

"I'm glad," Tsubasa said, reaching up to stroke Ash's cheek, running his fingers lightly along the scar that ran across his face.

Ash sighed, leaning into the caress, for once not bothered by the reminder of his disfigurement. The wolf, as always, was present within him, but he felt none of the violent lust that had so troubled him before. Instead, it was utterly content and meek, as tame as a lapdog, and Ash smiled at that mental image, recalling how happy the wolf had been to rest its head on Tsubasa's lap. He turned his head slightly to brush his lips against Tsubasa's fingers and whispered, "Thank you."

"The pleasure is all mine," Tsubasa whispered back, and lowered his hand, replacing it with his mouth, his lips pressing tenderly against Ash's.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Afterword: I got the bit about the Truth Potion not being 100 percent effective from the FAQ on J.K. Rowling's website; apparently there are ways to get around it, so I incorporated that into the story. I had always wondered why the Ministry didn't use Truth Potion during the Death Eater trials, but I guess that explains why.

Part 18