![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
FIC: Firsts
Title: Firsts
Rating: R to be on the safe side, but closer to PG-13
Fandom: Haru wo Daiteita (Embracing Love)
Pairing: Onozuka/Miyasaka (unrequited), Onozuka/Kikuchi
Word count: 1,593 total
Disclaimer: No money is being made off this story; consider it a little wish fulfillment on my part.
Sequel to: Comeback, Part 1 and Part 2)
Summary: A list of Onozuka's first times, inspired by the weekly drabble prompt "Firsts" on the Youka Nitta IJ asylum. Unfortunately, I'm incapable of writing 100 words exactly, so I'm tagging this as a fic rather than a drabble, but in honor of the challenge, I wrote this in pseudo-drabble segments ranging from 97 to 320 words each.
***
The first time that Onozuka kissed another guy was at a high school party on a drunken dare. Which was also the first time that he admitted to himself that he might be gay, because he liked it a lot more than he had expected, although of course he pretended that he didn't.
But it didn't come as a complete surprise, because he'd had an uneasy feeling about the fact that he didn't seem to find girls as fascinating as his friends did, and that he took more notice of the boys around him than he did the girls. The kiss only confirmed his suspicions.
***
The first time that he had sex--if you wanted to call it that--with another guy was a couple of years later, a quick mutual hand job in the restroom of a gay bar. But it felt furtive and dirty and shameful, and while there was a certain thrill to it, Onozuka decided that wasn't the way that he wanted to have sex.
Besides, he wanted to be an actor, and there was no way that an openly gay actor was going to make it in this business; he still recalled how the career of one of his favorite actors, Kikuchi Katsuya, had been ruined a few years ago after he had been outed by the tabloids. All Kikuchi's talent, charisma, and blockbuster hits had counted for nothing against the "gay scandal" headlines.
***
So although he preferred men, Onozuka slept with women when he slept with anyone, but mostly he slept with no one and dedicated himself to working hard at his career. And eventually it paid off when he and Miyasaka won "The Best New Actors of the Year" contest held by a popular entertainment magazine.
The first time that he met Katou was shortly after winning the contest, when all three of them had been appearing as guests on a variety show. They had been waiting in the green room between segments, and Onozuka had gone up to Katou and said, "Hey, if you're interested, I hear there's a wild orgy party going on tonight after the show." The party created a bond between the three of them, and also gave Onozuka some good potential blackmail material on Katou. He figured that it couldn't hurt to have a friend who was a rising star, nor could it hurt to have something to hold over that star, just in case.
***
The first time that Onozuka realized, much to his chagrin, that his feelings for Miyasaka were more than platonic was when he found himself filled with irritation and jealousy over the way that Miyasaka fawned incessantly over Iwaki.
However, he knew that he would never act on those feelings, because to be quite frank, Miyasaka was a bit of a bonehead. Despite his new attraction to Iwaki, Miyasaka had rather narrow conceptions about gender roles and he still thought in terms of being "the man" and "the woman" in a relationship. Onozuka wasn't really averse to the idea of bottoming (in theory, anyway, since he'd never actually done it), but he wasn't interested in becoming Miyasaka's "wife". He knew that it would just screw up their perfectly good friendship if he tried to throw sex and romance into the mix.
***
So if Miyasaka was such an idiot, why was Onozuka friends with him? Well, Miyasaka had his good points, too. In a way, his simplemindedness was his good point; you always knew what to expect from him. For someone like Onozuka, who was constantly scheming, Miyasaka's straightforward nature and predictability were comforting.
And even though Miyasaka often got into messes that Onozuka had to clean up for him, he was always up for some fun and willing to go along with whatever scheme Onozuka had cooked up. He was also faithful, loyal, and dependable--kind of like a golden retriever, actually. Miyasaka was like his pet puppy, which was another reason why Onozuka thought that their relationship should remain strictly platonic. It wasn't really appropriate to fuck one's pet dog, after all.
***
The first time that Onozuka thought it might be possible to be an openly gay actor after all was when Kikuchi returned to Japan to make a comeback in the wake of Katou's and Iwaki's success. That comeback went slightly awry when he left the film that he and Katou were supposed to star in under mysterious circumstances--which Onozuka suspected had something to do with Katou's obsessive jealousy and protectiveness of Iwaki.
But Kikuchi managed to rebound by starring in a smaller sci-fi film by a young director who had been deemed "the next big thing". Personally, Onozuka thought it was a silly-ass story even though the critics praised its "message of tolerance," but Kikuchi's performance was as excellent as it had always been, and gave added depth to the shallow plot.
***
Onozuka was envious when he heard that Kikuchi's first project after the movie would be Miyasaka's new TV series. It wasn't so much that he was hoping to get with Kikuchi, but he was intrigued by the older actor, and he had genuinely admired him as a kid, even before he had known Kikuchi was gay. And he admired the strength it must have taken to move to America and rebuild his career in a foreign country where no one knew or cared that he had been a star in Japan.
But Onozuka didn't mention any of this to Miyasaka. He was a little embarrassed about his schoolboy crush on Kikuchi, and he was leery of revealing any personal information that could be used against him to anyone, even his best friend--and even though Miyasaka was probably too dense to figure out that Onozuka was gay unless he came right out and told him.
***
So Onozuka's first opportunity to meet Kikuchi didn't come until after Miyasaka's series ended. Miyasaka told him to drop by the wrap party if he had time, but filming on Onozuka's own series ran late that night, so he ended up going straight home and to bed.
He had only just begun to doze off when who should show up but Miyasaka and Kikuchi! Onozuka sauntered out half-naked into the living room to scold Miyasaka for making so much noise, and was pleased when Kikuchi's eyes drifted up and down his body appreciatively.
***
Onozuka was annoyed that Miyasaka was hitting on Kikuchi instead of the one person right under his nose who actually cared about him, even though he would have turned Miyasaka down even if Miyasaka had propositioned him...well, probably. And he was equally annoyed that it was his own schoolboy crush that Miyasaka was using to try and get over Iwaki.
So he took a certain vindictive pleasure in attempting to steal Kikuchi away from Miyasaka after the idiot accidentally called Kikuchi by Iwaki's name in bed. Although it probably didn't matter to Miyasaka, since he was only using Kikuchi as a substitute for Iwaki, anyway.
He had a chance to chat with Kikuchi while they were waiting for Kikuchi's cab to arrive, and Onozuka felt like the two of them genuinely hit it off, bonding over their mutual dislike of Iwaki. Onozuka felt a sense of satisfaction that his boyhood hero had not fallen under Iwaki's spell; he'd known that Kikuchi would have good taste.
As Kikuchi was climbing into the cab, Onozuka took a calculated risk and bent down and kissed Kikuchi for the very first time. The other actor seemed amused rather than offended by his audaciousness, and even asked Onozuka for his number.
***
A couple of days later, Onozuka received a call from Kikuchi while he was at the studio, waiting in the dressing room for his next scene to come up.
"So you said to call if I was bored," a familiar deep voice said. "Are you busy tonight?"
"I just have one more scene left to shoot," Onozuka replied. "I should be free within a few hours at most."
"Great," Kikuchi said. "Do you want to get together for dinner?"
"Sure," Onozuka said with an air of casual indifference, although his inner teenager was jumping up and down in gleeful excitement over the idea of having dinner with Kikuchi Katsuya. "When and where should I meet you?"
"You have to be careful of your career, Onozuka-kun," Kikuchi chided in a seductive voice. "If you were seen meeting me in public, it might cause a scandal, and I'm not convinced that the public is ready to accept another gay couple."
"We aren't a couple," Onozuka reminded him, then added coyly, "At least, not yet."
"You're a clever young man, Onozuka-kun," Kikuchi replied. "You know that in this business, the public's perception matters more than the truth. Let's play it safe for now--why don't you come over to my apartment, say, around seven?"
He was jotting down Kikuchi's address when the director's assistant knocked on the door and called out, "We're ready for you, Onozuka-san."
"I'll be right there," he called back, then told Kikuchi, "I have to go now. I'll see you at seven."
"I'll be looking forward to it," Kikuchi chuckled, in a voice filled with promise.
Onozuka was grinning from ear to ear as he turned his phone off, and he paused for a moment to compose himself. By the time he walked onto the set, he was the very image of calm professionalism, but he was eagerly looking forward to his first date with Kikuchi.
THE END.
Next story in the series: First Date (Part 1 and Part 2)
***
Afterword: I tried really, really hard to write 100-word drabbles, but I just couldn't do it, mostly because I tend to be long-winded. I did come close with 105 and 97 for two of the segments, but for the life of me, I just couldn't get it to 100 exactly. I am so impressed by all you drabble writers out there--I don't know how you do it!
Still, I'm happy that the prompt inspired this fic, even though it totally distracted me from the HP fic I was supposed to be working on! Onozuka wanted his story told, and it seemed like a nice way to uncover some of his background. It was written as a companion piece to Comeback, and when I was writing that story, I wasn't specifically thinking of Onozuka as being gay or a fan of Kikuchi. (If anything, I was thinking that maybe he was bisexual.) But Iwaki, Katou, and Miyasaka are all straight guys who just happened to fall in love with one particular guy, and it's not clear whether Asano is actually gay or bi, or if he's perfectly straight and just wants to become Iwaki's lover in order to further his career. It seemed like a prevalence of what I've heard termed as "I am gay only for you" syndrome (mostly in Harry/Draco meta), and I thought it might be nice to have one guy besides Kikuchi who is flat-out gay. (Even if Onozuka doesn't really act on his preferences. He's a very calculating guy, and I don't think that he'd risk a scandal ruining his career before it even got started.)
(Well, actually, I think Sawa is also gay--I don't think there's any indication in the books that he's interested in women. And Yukihito doesn't seem to be interested in anyone but Sawa, so I suppose that makes him gay by default. Anyway, I'm digressing from my discussion of Onozuka...)
Then I thought that it might be kind of fun if Onozuka had been a fan of Kikuchi's as a kid. He appears to be in his early twenties, so he would have been young enough to have a little hero worship for his favorite movie star ten years ago, and Kikuchi's scandal would also have served as a cautionary tale for an aspiring young actor.
Canonically speaking, I feel like Onozuka might have some unrequited feelings for Miyasaka, but I really like the idea of him and Kikuchi being together--I think they'd make a good couple who would challenge each other more than poor Miyasaka would. I would like to do a sequel focusing on Onozuka's continuing relationship with Kikuchi, and how Miyasaka, Iwaki, and Katou react to it.
no subject
Onozuka is one sly, calculating guy and you manage to bring this out and his hidden personality very well.
i'm now very interested in his continuing relationship with Kikuchi! they had sparkle..XD
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
The (assumed) age difference between K & O inspired that idea, since I figured Kikuchi had to at least be in his 30s if he'd been gone from Japan for 10 years.
no subject
Speaking as a die-hard H/D fan, most writing now finds them comfortably gay from day one, which also serves many writers well when reconciling that pesky epilogue. Of course "gay only for you" is also something I & K might ascribe to their relationship, as well, so there may be some symetry there. Of course, I'm not much fussed how either H&D or I&K got together, so long as they do and I get to watch ;)
no subject
I don't really mind "gay only for you," but it shows up so often in BL manga that I found myself starting to wonder why so few characters were actually gay.
Snupin is my OTP in the HP universe, but I enjoy reading some H/D from time to time. Both pairings do have a similar enemies-turned-lovers vibe that I find interesting.
no subject
Drabbles are so hard...
no subject
I tend to have a harder time writing short stories than long ones...maybe I just like to ramble on a lot. ~_^