FIC: Scars, Part 5a

[geri_chan]

Title: Scars, Part 5a

Rating: NC-17 overall

Pairings: Snape/Lupin, Ash/Tsubasa; also a little Theodore/Blaise, Dylan/Hermione, and Aric/Takeshi

Author's note: {} Indicates character's unspoken thoughts; [] indicates song lyrics.

Disclaimer: Based on the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling; song lyrics are from "Scars" by Papa Roach. No money is being made off this story; consider it a little wish fulfillment on my part.

Warning: AU. This story contains a character from Half-Blood Prince, but does not follow the HBP storyline.

Sequel to: Always, Summer Vacation, For Old Time's Sake, Three's a Crowd, Return of the Raven, Phoenix Reborn, Phoenix Rising, Aftermaths, The Revenant, Ash's Story, and Summer Vacation III.

Summary: The staff and students speculate about Tsubasa's absence at dinner, while Tsubasa pays a visit to Ash.

Part 4a, Part 4b

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"I wonder what happened to Professor Tsubasa?" Lupin mused out loud, gazing at the empty chair at the head table in the Great Hall. "He didn't come down to dinner tonight."

Blaise, who happened to be sitting next to Lupin, pointed out, "The Headmaster told me that teachers aren't required to take meals at the school. Professor Blackmore and Master Diggory usually go home to have dinner with their families." As they had tonight, although Sirius occasionally came to the school to have dinner with his wife instead of the other way around. As for Lukas, now that he was married with a baby on the way, he faithfully rushed home to fuss over his wife each night after he was done working.

"Yes, but Tsubasa usually eats dinner in the Great Hall, at least during the school week," Lupin said with a smile. "Although he does sometimes visit his friends or family on the weekends."

"There's a first time for everything, Lupin," Snape said tartly. "And anyway, it's none of your business."

"Oh, and are you telling me that Slytherins never gossip and speculate?" Lupin retorted good-naturedly. "You know, I believe that Ash came by today for his fencing lesson."

"How delightful for Mr. Randolf," Snape said sarcastically. "Really, Lupin, I couldn't care less about who Tsubasa has dinner with." He glanced around and noticed that Flitwick and Hagrid were listening in on their conversation curiously.

"Professor Tsubasa likes men?" he overheard Hagrid whispering to Flitwick in a surprised voice. Lupin grinned, Blaise tried to hide a smile, and McGonagall, who was sitting next to Hagrid, frowned. Snape rolled his eyes; Hagrid was probably the only member of the staff who hadn't at least suspected that, considering Tsubasa's almost feminine grace and beauty, although beauty wasn't necessarily an indicator of sexual preference.

"And it's hardly professional to be gossiping about one of your colleagues," Snape added pointedly, speaking to Lupin although he raised his voice slightly so that Flitwick and Hagrid could hear him, and they immediately pretended to be fascinated by the food on their plates. McGonagall smiled slightly and gave Snape an approving nod.

"You're right, Severus," Lupin said in a repentant voice, hanging his head meekly, but there was a glimmer of mischief in his eyes that only Snape and Blaise noticed.

"I just got a letter from Theodore," Blaise said, to change the subject. "He's coming home this weekend for a visit."

"So did we!" Lupin said, beaming happily, momentarily forgetting about Tsubasa and Ash. "I'm sure that Lady Selima will want to throw a dinner party for him. You'll come, won't you, Blaise?"

"Of course, Remus, as long as I'm invited," Blaise replied with a smile.

"I'm sure that Mother intends to invite you and your grandfather, Zabini, but you may officially consider yourself invited by the Lord of Snape Manor," Snape said with a careless wave of his hand, and Blaise grinned.

"Then I'll be delighted to attend, Professor."

"And don't worry," Lupin said with a sly smile. "We won't keep Theodore at the Manor all night. I'm sure the two of you would like to spend a little time alone."

Blaise blushed, and Snape said dryly, "What did I say about gossiping about your colleagues, Lupin?"

"I'm just stating a fact, Severus," Lupin said, winking at Blaise.

For once, the merciless Potions Master took a little pity on his former student, and this time he was the one who changed the subject. "Did you know that Imogen Macnair was working at the museum, Zabini?"

Blaise looked a little surprised but grateful at the change of subject. "Yes, Professor," he replied. "She started there just a little after I did. But I didn't see much of her; she works in the office and keeps to herself." He smiled wryly. "The Zabinis are--or were--far below the status of the Macnairs, and mostly they snubbed me in school, so I never knew either Imogen or her brother very well. But still, I feel a little sorry for her. She used to be one of the popular girls in Slytherin, walking around proudly with her head held high, and now she creeps around the museum with her head bowed, as if she's ashamed, and the other workers gossip about her."

"So you don't know who she associates with?" Snape asked.

"No, I think that most of the Macnairs' friends and allies have abandoned them," Blaise replied.

"That's not surprising," Snape said cynically.

"Why do you ask, Professor?" Blaise inquired curiously.

"No real reason," Snape said, with an indifferent shrug of his shoulders. "An Auror that I know happened to stop by the museum, and he noticed Miss Macnair, so he asked me about her. Being paranoid is a job requirement for the Aurors, I believe."

"Like Mad-Eye Moody?" Blaise asked, smiling. "Draco found that out the hard way." His smile grew a little wider at the memory of Draco as "the amazing bouncing ferret". "Except that I guess it wasn't the real Moody who did that," Blaise added.

"Well, Mad-Eye did have justification for being paranoid," Lupin chuckled. "But hopefully the Aurors' concern about Miss Macnair is unnecessary."
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Meanwhile, at the Hufflepuff table, Laura had also noticed that Professor Tsubasa's chair at the head table was empty, and thought that he must have taken her letter to his friend right away. She hadn't expected him to deliver it so promptly that he would skip dinner, but she was delighted and grateful. She shifted in her seat restlessly, so excited that she could hardly sit still, and her gaze fell upon Celine Thompson, one of the new first-year Hufflepuffs--a shy, pretty girl with long brown hair that she wore braided with ribbons.

Most of the Hufflepuffs were curious about her, because although she was human, her father was a werewolf, and she had grown up living with Master Diggory's pack. And a few of her new housemates were also a little wary of her, not so much because of her connection to the werewolves, but because she regularly received letters and packages from Draco and Narcissa Malfoy--except that it was Narcissa Diggory now that she had remarried. But Narcissa and Draco were supposedly reformed, and Celine earnestly assured everyone that Draco and "Aunt Cissy" were both very nice to her, so the Hufflepuffs tried to set aside their misgivings about the Malfoy family and make Celine feel welcome. Loyalty was a Hufflepuff virtue, and the Sorting Hat had put Celine in their House, after all. The Hufflepuffs tried not to think too much about Amos Diggory, who had dishonored his House by trying to frame and murder his nephew--but even then, his crimes had been committed in the name of loyalty to his late parents and the family honor, although of course that did not justify them.

But right now Laura was not concerned about Amos Diggory's crimes; she was suddenly recalling the fact that Ash Randolf was part of Master Diggory's pack, so that meant Celine must know him! "Celine?" she called, trying not to sound too eager.

"Yes?" Celine asked, looking flattered to be addressed by an older student.

"I was just wondering," Laura replied. "You live with Master Diggory's pack...or at least, you did before you came to Hogwarts."

"That's right," Celine said, smiling proudly.

"So that must mean that you know Ash Randolf, the werewolf who works at the Ministry?" Laura asked. Rosie frowned, gazing at her anxiously; Laura had confided in her best friend about her run-in with Mr. Randolf, of course, and Rosie was probably worried that she might let slip some information about Ethan. But of course she wouldn't mention to Celine that she thought Ash Randolf was her brother; no one would think it odd that she was curious about one of the werewolves, because everyone else was curious, too. And after all, she had promised Rosie that she wouldn't talk about Ethan in public, but once she confirmed Ethan's true identity and he was reunited with his family, there would be no need for secrecy. She could hardly wait for that day to come!

But for now, it still had to remain a secret, so Laura added casually, "I was just curious, because I happened to run into him before dinner, when I was running an errand for Professor Sprout, taking some herbs to Professor Tsubasa."

"Yes, Uncle Ash is taking lessons in swordfighting from Professor Tsubasa," Celine said cheerfully. "He stops by the school about three times a week, I think."

"Really?" Kevin Whitby asked in surprise. "I didn't know that."

One of the other Hufflepuff girls spared Laura the trouble of asking, "So what is he like? Your 'Uncle' Ash, I mean. He's not really your uncle, is he?"

"No, but all the adults in the pack look after all the cubs--um, I mean, children," Celine replied. "So we call everyone 'Uncle' or 'Aunt'. Some people think that Uncle Ash looks scary, because of his scar, but he's really very kind. When I was little, he used to look after me sometimes when my parents were at work, and he'd play with me and read stories to me. Well, actually, we didn't have many books, but he would make up wonderful stories about dragons and knights and princesses."

Laura listened avidly; that fit her fantasy image of Ethan, whom she'd always imagined as a kind and loving brother, and it also fit in with the reality of the book of fairy tales she had found in the attic. He must have remembered those stories and told them to the young Celine.

"And Uncle Ash is very good with Muggle devices," Celine continued proudly. "Even if he comes across a new device that he's never seen before, with no instruction booklet, he can usually figure out how to work it in just a short time."

"That must be why the Minister of Magic hired him," Tristan Ames said with a smile. The second-year boy looked after Celine protectively like an older brother, perhaps because his cousin was Master Diggory, the leader of the werewolves. "Arthur Weasley loves Muggle technology."

"I don't think that he looks scary at all," one of the seventh-year girls giggled. "In fact, I think he looks very handsome. Does your Uncle Ash have a girlfriend, Celine?"

Celine grinned and said, "The other pack members say that Uncle Ash is a playboy. He's had lots of lovers, but he's never been interested in settling down with someone special before."

"Before?" the seventh-year girl asked. "Is he interested in someone now?"

Celine giggled mischievously. "Oh, I couldn't say. But my mum says that now that he has a respectable job, maybe he's willing to finally settle down and find a mate."

Laura noticed that Celine always spoke in wolf terms--things like "cubs" and "pack" and "mate"--which was no doubt the result of growing up in a werewolf pack. Meanwhile, the other girls were pressing Celine for more information about her Uncle Ash, but were distracted when the Malfoys' eagle owl flew into the Great Hall and landed on the Hufflepuff table, dropping a large package in front of Celine.

"Thank you, Ares," Celine said, feeding him a bit of roast beef from her plate. The owl gently took the tidbit from her fingers, being careful not to harm her with his large and sharp hooked beak. He gave her a dignified nod of acknowledgment, then launched himself into the air and flew off.

"What did you get?" her fellow first-years asked eagerly, and Celine opened the package to reveal a large box of Honeydukes chocolate and some hair ribbons--yellow and black, Hufflepuff colors.

"Draco's mum is always sending you presents," a first-year boy marveled.

"She says that she's always wanted a daughter to fuss over," Celine said, smiling. "So she fusses over the girls in the pack. And I think she misses looking after Draco now that he's all grown up, but in a few months she'll have baby Cedric to fuss over."

"It's hard to believe that they've really changed," Owen Cauldwell said skeptically.

"It was hard for me to believe at first, too," Tristan said. "But do you really think that Narcissa would have married a werewolf if she hadn't?"

"Well, you do have a point there," Owen admitted.

"I never knew Draco and Aunt Cissy before the marriage, although I heard bad things about the Malfoys," Celine said earnestly. "But whatever they were like before, they must have changed, because they're both so nice to me--to all of the pack. Aunt Cissy bought all my school books and supplies, and Draco gave me flying lessons over the summer. He says that he'll coach me if I want to try out for the Quidditch team when I get older, although he isn't sure if he should help a Hufflepuff beat Slytherin." She giggled and added, "I think he was a little disappointed when I wasn't Sorted into Slytherin, but I think that I'm better suited to Hufflepuff, because wolves are loyal to the pack the way that Hufflepuffs are loyal to each other."

The other Hufflepuffs looked a little startled, but they nodded, pleased with Celine's response. Even if the comparison to wolves was a bit odd, she was loyal to her House the way that a Hufflepuff should be.

"You really do think like a wolf, don't you, Celine?" Zacharias Smith chuckled good-naturedly.

"It's because I grew up with the pack," Celine replied, blushing.

"Well, a wolf is fierce and loyal, so that's not a bad thing," Zacharias declared, and Celine beamed at him, practically glowing at the older boy's praise. Laura remembered feeling much the same way as a first-year whenever Cedric spoke to her.

Celine passed the box of candy around the table, sharing it with her housemates, and told them a little more about life in the pack. It had not been an easy life--the werewolves had lived in poverty, and many times they had gone hungry--but clearly Celine had grown up feeling loved and protected.

Laura was gratified to know that her brother really was a kind person as she had imagined, and she couldn't wait to meet him and have her entire family back together. Since Celine was part of Ethan's--Ash's--family, that would make the younger girl sort of a foster sister, but Laura didn't mind. She liked Celine, and she had always wanted a younger sister.
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Rose Zeller frowned at Laura, who was smiling dreamily, oblivious to her best friend's worries. It had been all right for Laura to spin fantasies about her brother when Ethan had been safely dead, but now...Rosie worried that the family reunion Laura was planning might not turn out as happily as she expected. Laura tended to have an idealized vision of the world in general and her family in particular, but Rosie knew that Alden Madley was not always a nice man. He was a fair employer who paid his workers well, and he was generous in many ways--he helped pay for their children's school expenses, and had in fact paid for a good portion of the cost of Rosie's school books and uniforms, for which she was grateful.

But he could also be a stern and harsh man if someone defied him; he had fired workers in the past for breaking minor infractions of the rules. She had overheard her parents talking about how Mr. Madley had once doted on his beautiful wife after they first married, but something had gone wrong and he had turned cold towards her...perhaps it had been Ethan's death. And Mr. Madley was a very proud man; he was embarrassed about his Muggle origins, and hated it when someone brought it up--which the farm workers never did, at least in his presence, since they wanted to keep their jobs. He might not welcome a werewolf son...and there was something very odd about the silence surrounding Ethan's death, something that went beyond a parent's reluctance to bring up painful memories.

Rosie wasn't sure that she wanted to know the secret behind Ethan's disappearance. She liked her life the way it was now: her father happy with a stable job that provided a good life for his family, and her own friendship with Laura. All of that might be in jeopardy if Mr. Madley was not happy with Ethan's return and he found out that the Zellers had something to do with it. And although it was a terrible thought, she wished that Ethan would just remain dead.

Rosie immediately felt guilty and revised her wish slightly: she didn't wish any harm on Ethan, but she hoped that Ash Randolf would not turn out to be Ethan Madley after all. The adult werewolf did bear a slight resemblance to the boy in the photograph, but it was impossible to tell just from the picture whether the two were one and the same. It was probably only Laura's wishful thinking, Rosie tried to reassure herself.

But although she had little talent for Divination and normally scoffed at Professor Trelawney's lessons, Rosie had a strong premonition that things were not going be resolved so easily, and that Laura's chance encounter with Ash Randolf was going to cause trouble for everyone involved, including herself.
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Back at the head table, Lupin smiled as he watched Celine talk animatedly with her housemates. "Lukas was a little worried about Celine at first, but she seems to be fitting in just fine," he said to Snape.

"Hufflepuff was a good House for her to be Sorted into," Snape observed, somewhat to Lupin's surprise, since he rarely praised any House but his own. "Slytherins might mock her impure blood and poverty, although probably less so than they would have done in the past, before they met you." Lupin smiled, gratified, and Snape gave him a brief smile in return, lips curving for only a few seconds, as if he didn't want to ruin his nasty Potions Master image. "On the other hand," he continued, " the Gryffindors might find her association with the Malfoys suspicious. I'm not sure about the Ravenclaws; they would probably reserve judgment until they had a chance to get to know her. Only the Hufflepuffs would immediately accept her wholeheartedly, just because she is one of them. So it is a good House for an almost-werewolf child to be Sorted into."

"Wolves are loyal to their pack, so it's natural that a child raised in a werewolf pack would be drawn to Hufflepuff," Lupin agreed. "I wouldn't be surprised if more of the pack children become Hufflepuffs when they go to Hogwarts."

Snape thought of the rambunctious pack children and said wryly, "Actually, that's probably a good thing; I think that I would prefer that they be Sorted into a House other than mine. One werewolf in my life is trouble enough, thank you very much." Lupin just laughed in response. "Although," Snape mused, "it will be interesting to see how Cedric Drake turns out. He might well be worthy of Slytherin if he takes after his parents."

"Well, we'll just have to wait and see," Lupin said. He pushed away his empty plate and noticed that Snape had finished eating as well. "Shall we retire for the evening, Severus?" he murmured. "If you're not busy, perhaps you could continue helping me with my...research."

"What, again?" Snape asked, feigning shock. "I already helped you with your 'research' all afternoon, Lupin."

Lupin smiled coyly and purred, "I appreciate your dedication, Severus, and I promise that I will make it worth your while."

"Well, in that case, I suppose I can help you out, Lupin," Snape said magnanimously. He rose from his seat and swept out of the Great Hall, his black robes billowing around him dramatically. Lupin paused for a moment just to admire him, then hastily followed after his lover.

"Are the Professors working on improvements to the Wolfsbane Potion or something?" Hagrid wondered out loud.

"Something like that," Blaise replied innocently, and only his long years of practice at controlling his emotions in Slytherin enabled him to restrain his laughter.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________

[I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
--"Scars" by Papa Roach]

Ash was at the London townhouse, helping set the table for dinner. Although many of the werewolves now resided at Diggory Manor with Lukas, not all of them felt comfortable living in what had once been a pureblood mansion, so some of them, Ash included, still lived at the townhouse. So did Matilda, the gray-haired matronly werewolf who had welcomed Ash into the pack as a child, and she still acted as den mother to the remaining werewolves. Brian and Kyra were also living at the townhouse, at least for now. They had moved into their own flat after they got married, but had been thrown out by their landlord during the period of hysteria caused by the fake werewolf attacks. After all the furor had subsided, they had discovered that their old flat had been rented out to someone else, and they had decided that they didn't want to live in a building run by a bigot, anyway. So they had decided to go back to the townhouse and save up enough money to buy a place of their own.

"Someplace a little bigger than our old flat," Kyra had said with a grin. "Someplace big enough for a cub or two to run around once we're ready to start a family." And Brian, who had once detested all the werewolves and the fact that he'd become one himself, smiled delightedly at the thought of having "cubs".

Ash was still feeling slightly out of sorts, and he was surprised to hear Tsubasa's voice calling from the fireplace, "Excuse me? Is it all right if I come in?"

"Of course!" Ash replied, lifting the wards that blocked the Floo so that Tsubasa could enter. He looked gorgeous, as always, and had obviously showered and changed: he had exchanged his sweaty clothes for a clean kimono and hakama (dark blue and light blue, respectively), and his long tail of hair looked slightly damp.

Ash felt his spirits lifting as Tsubasa stepped through the fireplace, brushing ashes off his clothes. He wondered hopefully if Tsubasa had changed his mind about both the dinner invitation and Ash's intentions, but his hopes faded when he saw the solemn expression on Tsubasa's face.

"I need to talk to you, Ash," Tsubasa said.

"Well then, you're welcome to have dinner with us," Matilda said pleasantly. "It'll be ready in about ten minutes."

"Thank you," Tsubasa replied politely, "but I need to speak with Ash in private."

"Then you can have a chat with Ash and join us afterwards," Matilda said cheerfully.

"Um...we can talk in my room," Ash said awkwardly. The other werewolves grinned and winked at him as he led Tsubasa up the stairs, but somehow Ash didn't think that his visitor had romance on his mind.

"What is it?" Ash asked, a bit more abruptly than he'd intended, once they were alone in his room with the door shut behind them. In such close quarters, Ash could pick up a faint, clean, soapy scent rising from Tsubasa's body, and the mental image of Tsubasa taking a shower aroused Ash, which in turn made him irritable, because he couldn't do anything about it.

Tsubasa did not seem to take offense, but merely reached into the folds of his kimono and pulled out an envelope. "One of my students asked me to deliver a letter to you," he said.

"But I don't know any of the students at Hogwarts except for Celine," Ash replied, frowning as he took the letter from Tsubasa. "And those kids who worked for Sirius over the summer, although I don't know why they would be writing to me."

"It's from a Hufflepuff student, a fifth-year girl named Laura Madley," Tsubasa said, carefully watching for Ash's reaction. The werewolf turned pale, and he seemed to freeze in place, more like a frightened deer than a wolf, his eyes going wide with shock. He waited a moment for Ash to reply, but when he didn't, Tsubasa continued, "She's the girl you ran into when you left my classroom, and she seemed to recognize you. She wouldn't elaborate much, but she seemed to think that you resembled some long-lost family member who was believed to be dead. She asked me to give you this letter, and she wants to meet you, if you are the relative she believes you to be."

With trembling hands, Ash tore open the envelope and pulled out the letter inside. In his state of shock, it was too much for him to grasp at once, but key phrases seemed to swim before his eyes: "My name is Laura...my parents are Alden and Rosalind Madley...never knew that I had a brother...killed by a werewolf...found a photo in a book of fairy tales in the attic..." Finally, Ash shook his head and forced himself to focus, and he was able to concentrate hard enough to finish reading the letter, which closed with, "If you are Ethan, please contact me. For so many years I have wished that I could have known you! Mother and Father have missed you so much. It won't matter to them that you are a werewolf, if that's what you're afraid of; I know they will be overjoyed just to learn that you're alive. Please come home to us. Sincerely, Laura Madley."

Ash didn't realize that his entire body was trembling violently until Tsubasa placed a hand on his shoulder and asked in a concerned voice, "Are you all right, Ash?"

"No," Ash replied with a mirthless laugh, sitting down on the bed because he didn't think that his shaking legs would support him; Tsubasa sat next to him, still looking concerned. "She says that she's my sister," Ash said, crumpling the letter in his hand. "But that's impossible. My parents couldn't have children."

"They had you," Tsubasa pointed out logically. It did not escape his notice that although Ash claimed that Laura could not be his sister, he had just admitted that he was the Madleys' son.

Ash shook his head. "This Laura's father isn't my real father. He was my stepfather." And even though Ash had only known Tsubasa for a matter of weeks, not years, he found himself confessing the entire story of his past to the crane man--his illegitimate birth, his mother's marriage to Alden Madley, his stepfather's abuse which had driven him into the woods where he had been attacked by the werewolf that turned him--when he had never told it to any of his pack brothers and sisters. He had told just a little of this to Lukas, his pack leader whom he loved and trusted more than anyone else in the world, but even then, he had not told him the full story, only the bare facts--that his stepfather's abuse had indirectly caused him to be turned, and that he had run away for fear that his stepfather would lock him up or turn him over to the Ministry. And yet somehow it felt perfectly natural to share all these painful, personal details of his life with Tsubasa. Maybe this was because Tsubasa was meant to be his mate, or maybe it was only that he had been keeping these secrets locked up inside him for too long and they needed to spill out, like water rushing from a broken dam, and Tsubasa conveniently happened to be around when the dam broke.

As for Tsubasa, he felt his heart breaking for the young boy Ash had been, as the werewolf recounted his tale in a low, halting voice just above a whisper. It was difficult to picture the cynical, wary man beside him as the little boy in the story, so hungry for affection and desperately eager to please his stepfather, but he knew from the pain in Ash's eyes and in his voice that he was telling the truth. And somehow it felt perfectly natural to put his arm around Ash and draw his head down onto his own shoulder in an attempt to comfort him--a gesture that he would normally have performed only for a family member or a very close friend...or a lover. Except that all of Tsubasa's lovers had been casual ones, and he had never felt close enough to any of them to have comforted them this way.

Ash sighed, his body relaxing as it leaned into Tsubasa's, his head pillowed comfortably on Tsubasa's shoulder. He felt a hand touch his hair gently, tentatively stroking it, and Ash growled softly in pleasure, inhaling deeply and drinking in Tsubasa's scent.

Tsubasa knew that Ash had granted him an incredible gift of trust by telling him this story about his past, and Tsubasa felt obliged to return that gift with one of his own. It was a story of his own past that he never spoke of with anyone besides his father and stepmother, although it was not as tragic as Ash's.

"My mother was one of the most beautiful maidens in the valley of the crane folk," Tsubasa said, without any preamble, and Ash looked up at him curiously, although he did not lift his head from Tsubasa's shoulder. "She was named 'Aki' or 'autumn' because she was born in that season. She and my father Yokuto had loved each other since they were children, and they were wed as soon as they came of age.

"As well as being beautiful, Aki was also one of the finest weavers in the valley, and she could have become the chief apprentice and successor to the Head Weaver. But Aki's spirit was restless, like the autumn leaves blowing in the wind, and she wanted to travel and see the world outside the valley, going wherever the wind might take her. Yokuto would have been content to spend his entire life in the valley, but because he loved my mother and wanted to make her happy, he willingly accompanied her on her travels. They continued to travel after I was born, taking me along with them. We traveled all over Japan, even staying in Muggle cities at times, but my mother loved the ocean most of all. She was entranced by the waves, so wild and unpredictable compared to the placid lake in the valley. We spent many happy days on various seashores, swimming and fishing and searching for seashells.

"But when I was five years old, my mother caught a rare illness that none of the healers could cure. The crane folk mate for life, and my parents were especially close even for cranes, and my father went mad with grief after my mother died. Her body was cremated, as is our custom, and by our traditions, her ashes should have been scattered in the wind to fly free in the valley. But my father insisted that he would scatter her ashes in the sea that she loved, so the clan let him go, believing that it would give him some comfort.

"They didn't know that he intended to do more than scatter her ashes. After he let the waves carry her ashes away, he picked me up and began walking into the water. He was smiling, for the first time since my mother died, but I was frightened by the strange look in his eyes--as if he were looking far away to someplace that I couldn't see. 'Don't worry, Tsubasa,' he told me. 'We'll be with Mother soon.'

"I was too young to understand what he meant, and at first I was confused but happy to know that I would see my mother again. I thought perhaps there had been a mistake, and she hadn't died after all. But he strode farther and farther into the water, until it reached his waist, and then mine, and soon our heads were just barely above water, and I finally understood that he meant to drown us both. I remember how cold the water was as it soaked through my clothes, and I remember feeling a little guilty when I realized that I didn't want to die, not even if it meant I could see my mother in heaven. I began to struggle and cry, but my father didn't seem to notice. He just kept smiling, with that faraway look in his eyes, and whispered, 'Soon we'll be with you, Aki, and we will all live together in the Dragon King's Palace under the sea.' There's an old Japanese legend, you see, that says that the Dragon King lives in a magnificent palace on the ocean floor.

"By coincidence--or fate, depending on your point of view--a young Japanese-American witch named Reiko happened to be visiting relatives who lived near the seashore where my father had decided to drown himself. She had recently graduated from Salem, and had come to Japan for her apprenticeship, to learn more about the Eastern ways of magic. On this day, she had decided to go for a stroll on the beach, and caught sight of me struggling in my father's arms, and she realized what he intended to do."

In spite of the painful emotions that his story had stirred up, Tsubasa found himself smiling at the memory of his young stepmother-to-be, as he remembered how fierce and determined she had been. "Without hesitation, the young woman--little more than a girl, really; she had only just turned eighteen--dove into the water, swam out to us, and tried to physically drag my father to shore, for all that he was at least half a foot taller than her and a good many pounds heavier. My father struggled, of course, crying out to her to let him die and go to his dead wife's side. Reiko slapped him in the face and shouted, 'Do you really think it would make your wife happy if you killed yourself and your son?! If it were just you, I would let you die, you selfish man, but I won't let you take the boy with you! And I won't let you die, because he needs his father, even if that father is an idiot!'

"And then my father looked at me--really looked at me this time--and saw how frightened I was, and he wept and begged me to forgive him. Reiko told him that he could cry all he wanted after we got back to shore, but he'd better start swimming. Only my father was very weak, since he had barely eaten or slept since my mother fell ill, and Reiko ended up doing most of the work of towing us back to shore. Once we were safely on the beach, she gave my father a blistering lecture about how stupid and selfish he was, and he got down on his hands and knees and bowed his head to the ground in apology, to both Reiko and me--and my late mother.

"We were all soaked to the skin, of course, so Reiko took us back to her uncle's house where she was staying to dry off. But even after he changed into dry clothing, my father was feverish and shivering; in his weakened state, in the cold water, he had caught pneumonia. I got a little sick too, although it was nothing more than a cold. So we ended up staying with Reiko and her uncle and his family while my father recovered, and she nursed him back to health, brewing healing potions and teas for him. She said that it was probably best that she kept an eye on him, anyway, to make sure that he didn't try anything foolish again. And because my father was too ill to look after me, she ended up taking care of me, too. She was the one who fed me, and told me stories and took me for walks on the beach to distract me from my worries about my father. She was the one who tucked me into bed at night, and sang me lullabies when I had trouble sleeping.

"And gradually, my father began to heal--emotionally as well as physically. At first he only clung to life because Reiko had made him realize that I still needed him, but little by little, he began to take pleasure in life again. He had been dutifully eating his meals without really tasting them, and I remember the first time that remarked on how good Reiko's soup tasted, sounding a little surprised that it should be so, and he did not quite laugh, but he smiled when Reiko pretended to be offended that he was surprised that her cooking tasted good. I remember how he truly smiled at me for the first time since my mother died, when I brought him back a seashell from one of my walks with Reiko. And I remember how he both smiled and wept when the leaves turned red in autumn, reminding him of my mother. I remember being worried, but Reiko gently told me that it was a good sign, that they were tears of healing.

"My father recovered from his pneumonia, but he did not really want to return home to the valley, which held too many painful memories of my mother. So we remained as guests in the home of Reiko's family, and my father wove them bolts of precious silk to thank them for their kindness and hospitality. Some of the silk they kept to make into kimonos for themselves, and some they sold, which more than covered the cost of our upkeep, but they were kind people and would have taken us in even if we had been penniless.

"Weeks passed, and then months, until we had been living with Reiko and her family for over a year. During this time, Reiko and my father had become friends, and gradually friendship turned into something more. And then one day Reiko and my father sat down to have a talk with me, both of them looking happy but very anxious at the same time, and they asked me how I would feel if they got married. By this time, Reiko was a surrogate mother to me in all but name, and I adored her, so of course I was overjoyed, and I told them so.

"My father's kinfolk were not entirely happy about this. They were grateful to Reiko for saving my father's life, and they could even forgive her for being human. But what they could not forgive was that she took me and my father back to America with her after they married. Despite his newfound happiness, my father was still very fragile, and Reiko could see how much the memory of my mother's death still pained him. So she thought it would be better if he made a fresh start somewhere new, without so many painful reminders of his past. My stepmother was truly a remarkable young woman, wise beyond her years. She never begrudged my father his love for Aki, but she knew that he needed time to heal before he could remember her with joy instead of sorrow. She also told me that she would be a mother to me, but that she would never try to take my mother's place in my heart. We agreed that I would call her 'Mom,' the American term, so that my mother would always be 'Okaasan' to me. That way I had a special name for each of them, and I didn't have to feel as though Reiko was displacing my mother.

"So over the protests of the clan, we moved to America, and I attended school at Salem. By the time I graduated, my father had healed from his grief and had begun to miss his homeland, so we moved back to Japan. Because he had grown used to living with humans, the clan appointed him as their representative to the wizards' council in Japan. Some of the clan elders still disapprove of my stepmother, but she takes great pleasure in annoying them, so everyone--except the elders--is happy." He paused, then added, "Only those of the clan who were adults at the time know the true story behind my father's second marriage. The younger ones, including my cousin Takeshi who was not yet born when my mother died, know that Reiko saved him, but they think that she only saved him from pining away with grief. They don't know that he tried to commit suicide and take me with him."

Part 5b