FIC: Scars, Part 7a

[geri_chan]

Title: Scars, Part 7a

Rating: NC-17 overall

Pairings: Snape/Lupin, Ash/Tsubasa; also a little Theodore/Blaise, Dylan/Hermione, and Aric/Takeshi

Author's note: {} Indicates character's unspoken thoughts; [] indicates song lyrics.

Disclaimer: Based on the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling; song lyrics are from "Scars" by Papa Roach. No money is being made off this story; consider it a little wish fulfillment on my part.

Warning: AU. This story contains a character from Half-Blood Prince, but does not follow the HBP storyline.

Sequel to: Always, Summer Vacation, For Old Time's Sake, Three's a Crowd, Return of the Raven, Phoenix Reborn, Phoenix Rising, Aftermaths, The Revenant, Ash's Story, and Summer Vacation III.

Summary: Most of this chapter deals with the meeting between Ash and Laura, but Lukas enlists Lupin's help to discover what is troubling Ash, and Lupin is more than happy to indulge his Gryffindor penchant for meddling.

Part 6a, Part 6b

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Ash was cross and moody all weekend, and the other werewolves couldn't help but notice. Kyra asked during dinner on Friday night, "Did you have a fight with Tsubasa or something?" In response, Ash threw his plate at her, and Kyra just barely managed to duck in time; the plate shattered against the wall behind her. Brian, who was normally the most mild-mannered of all the werewolves in the pack, instinctively growled in response to the attack on his mate.

"That's enough, Ash!" Matilda scolded. "If you can't behave like a civilized human being, then go to your room and let the rest of us eat in peace! But clean up that mess first."

"I'm neither human nor civilized," Ash muttered under his breath sulkily. "I'm a werewolf." But he took out his wand and cast a spell to clean up the broken plate and spilled food before stomping up the stairs to his room and slamming the door behind him. He knew that he was behaving childishly, but at the moment, he couldn't bring himself to care.

He stayed away from the mansion although he usually visited his pack leader on the weekends, because he knew that he couldn't control his temper and that Lukas wouldn't tolerate him snapping at Narcissa or flinging plates at her. Lukas accepted that a certain amount of scuffling between the wolves in the pack was inevitable, and usually wouldn't interfere unless things got out of hand, but he was extremely protective of his mate, and even more so now that she was pregnant. Ash didn't normally quarrel with Narcissa, but he was in a bad enough mood that he was picking fights with almost anyone who spoke to him, and he thought it would probably be best for everyone--himself included--if he laid low and spent as much time as possible alone this weekend.

He spent the entire weekend brooding, literally feeling sick to his stomach at the thought of meeting his sister. But finally, he realized that he wouldn't be able to see Tsubasa until he settled things with Laura. If she knew that he was taking fencing lessons from Tsubasa, she would probably hang around the Physical Defense classroom in hopes of meeting him, which meant that if he intended to avoid her, he would have to skip his lessons and avoid Tsubasa as well. And he had an almost overpowering desire to see Tsubasa again, even though he also dreaded the awkwardness of meeting for the first time after their one night stand.

So late Sunday night, he contacted Tsubasa through the Floo and asked if he would arrange a meeting with Laura before their scheduled lesson on Monday afternoon.

"Of course; I would be glad to," Tsubasa said, sounding pleased to hear from him, which eased Ash's sense of dread slightly. "I know this is difficult for you, Ash, but I think that you're doing the right thing."

"I hope so," Ash sighed. "Thank you, Tsubasa."

"You're welcome," Tsubasa replied. "I'll see you tomorrow, then."

He was nervous and irritable the next day, too worried about the meeting with his sister to concentrate on his work. He snapped at everyone who crossed his path, sending one young clerk fleeing in tears, and he accidentally spilled a bottle of ink on the report he had been writing at his desk.

He snarled and cursed the ink, the report, and the Ministry for the seemingly endless amount of paperwork it required. A form had to be filled out for every complaint made about a suspect Muggle device, and another form for the investigation, and yet another form for each item that was confiscated and each person who was fined or arrested. Ash sometimes fantasized about creating a huge bonfire with all the reports he was forced to write.

A wand passed over the desk and the ink vanished. Startled, Ash looked up to see Arthur Weasley smiling at him. "Why don't you take the rest of the day off, Ash?" the Minister suggested pleasantly.

"But I still have another hour of work left, and this report to finish..." Ash said, gesturing at the papers on his desk.

"It can wait till tomorrow," Arthur said firmly. "I doubt that you'll get anything constructive done today, anyway, and besides, you're terrorizing my staff."

"I'm sorry," Ash muttered, flushing guiltily. "I'm just...um...having a bad day."

"Everyone is entitled to a bad day once in awhile," Arthur said sympathetically. "Go home and get some rest, and perhaps things will look better in the morning."

{Not likely,} Ash thought to himself gloomily, but all he said was, "Yes, Arthur. I'll try not to let my...bad days...affect my work again."

"Is everything all right, Ash?" Arthur asked, a look of concern on his face. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"No, but I appreciate the thought," Ash replied, smiling ruefully. "It's...a personal matter."

"All right, I won't pry any further, then," Arthur said, although he looked curious in spite of his words. "But you do know that you can come to me if you need any help, or even if you just need someone to talk to, don't you, Ash?"

"Yes, thank you, Arthur," Ash said, touched by the gesture even though he didn't intend to discuss his problems with the Minister. His enthusiasm and good nature were a bit overwhelming and even annoying at times, but he was genuinely kind and seemed to honestly view the werewolves as equals, without any hidden fear or condescension.

"What's the matter, did they throw you out of the Ministry?" Matilda asked when he returned home. "I wouldn't be surprised, with the way you've been barking and growling at everyone lately." She gave him a stern look and added, "And don't you start growling at me, because I've had just about enough of your attitude, mister!"

"I'm sorry, Matilda," Ash said meekly, bending down to kiss her cheek. "I know I've been a beast lately."

She looked startled for a moment by his sudden change in mood, then laughed. "You could always turn on the charm when you wanted, you little scamp," she said affectionately. "Usually at just the right time to keep you out of trouble! Did you manage to charm the Minister into not firing you?"

"I'm not fired," Ash assured her. "Arthur just told me to take off early today."

"Good," Matilda said. "But you can't always count on your charm to save you, Ash. Don't screw up this job at the Ministry, because it's not just a job. Like it or not, you're in a prominent position, and the things that you do--good or bad--reflect on all werewolves."

"I know, I know," Ash grumbled sullenly. He knew that she was right, but he didn't like the idea of having so much responsibility heaped on his shoulders. He'd been a thief and a smuggler for most of his life, and he wasn't used to behaving in a "respectable" manner.

"Remember that, then," Matilda said sternly, but then she smiled at him in a motherly fashion. "And do us all a favor and make up with that pretty bird fellow of yours."

"Yes, Matilda," Ash sighed, and went upstairs to his room. Everyone in the pack assumed that he was in a bad mood because of a lover's spat with Tsubasa, which was a little annoying, but it was preferable to explaining the truth about the sudden appearance of his half-sister. He loved and trusted his packmates, so he wasn't really sure why he was keeping it a secret from them. Maybe because he was afraid that some of them would urge him to form a relationship with Laura, as Tsubasa had suggested, and he didn't want to do that. He just wanted the girl to go away and for his life to return to normal.

Arthur had meant to do him a favor by letting him take off work early, but in a way, it made things worse for Ash because it gave him more time to brood and worry. He tried to read a book, but couldn't concentrate, then paced around the room nervously for awhile, then finally pulled out a bottle of Firewhiskey he had hidden beneath his bed, and had a drink to steady his nerves. Except that he was so nervous that he took another drink and then another...until he decided that he'd better head over to the school before he drank the whole bottle and passed out cold.
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[I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever come around
Why don't you just go home?

...I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
--"Scars" by Papa Roach]

Ash arrived at the Physical Defense classroom early, but the girl was already there, giving Ash no time to compose himself. "Am I late?" he whispered to Tsubasa, wondering if his watch had slowed down.

"No, Laura was so eager to meet you that she arrived half an hour early," Tsubasa replied. He suddenly frowned, leaning in a little closer to sniff at Ash's breath. "Ash!" he hissed softly, so that Laura wouldn't overhear. "Have you been drinking?!"

"I'm not drunk," Ash hissed back defensively. "I just had a few shots of Firewhiskey to brace myself." Tsubasa stared at him skeptically, and Ash added, "Werewolves have a high tolerance for liquor."

Tsubasa looked as though he wanted to argue further, but Laura stepped forward, smiling anxiously. "Mr. Randolf?" she asked in a voice that quavered slightly. "I'm Laura Madley...your sister."

Now that Ash knew who she was, he could see the resemblance to Rosalind more clearly. She didn't look exactly like their mother, but she had Rosalind's heart-shaped face, wavy chestnut hair, and hazel eyes. She had certainly inherited Rosalind's beauty; Ash felt a little wrench of pain in his heart as he remembered how as a very young child, he had thought that his mother was the most beautiful woman in the world, and how he had wistfully longed for her to smile at him instead of glaring at him resentfully.

"Maybe I should give the two of you some privacy," Tsubasa said uncertainly, looking as though he felt uncomfortable intruding on their family reunion, but did not want to leave his student alone with a werewolf who might've had too much to drink.

"You can stay," Ash told him. He didn't really want to be alone with his sister, and besides, he didn't intend for this meeting to last very long. Laura started to babble nervously, repeating the things she had said in her letter, telling him about how she had not known that she'd had a brother until a few years ago when one of the villagers had accidentally let it slip.

"Laura," he interrupted, and the girl fell silent. "You seem like a nice girl, and I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I have no intention of ever seeing any of my blood relatives again. I am no longer a Madley; my family is my pack. I have left the past behind, and you should do the same. Let Ethan Madley remain dead, and go on with your life."

"How can you say that?!" Laura cried, looking hurt and bewildered. "How can I possibly pretend that you're dead when I know you're alive? And Mother and Father...they've missed you so much!"

"I doubt that very much," Ash said bitterly.

Laura calmed down a little and asked sympathetically, "Are you afraid that they'd disown you because you're a werewolf? They'll be glad just to know that you're alive, Ethan; they've mourned you so much. That's why they didn't tell me about you, because it hurt them to talk about you, to even just hear your name."

From the sweet, earnest expression on her face and the sincerity in her voice, she obviously believed what she said, although Ash knew quite well that his parents would not be glad to know that he was alive. Such naivety could only mean that she had been sheltered, coddled, and loved all her life. And suddenly Ash hated her for having what he had always craved as a child: the love of his parents. Why should she have what had been denied to him just because she was Madley's real child, conceived in wedlock, instead of a bastard stepson? He wanted to shatter her naive trust in her parents, to shake up her safe, cozy little world. He wanted to destroy her happiness.

His anger must have shown on his face, because Laura turned pale and took a step backwards, and Tsubasa looked concerned and moved a step closer. Ash tried to get control of himself, reminding himself that Laura wasn't responsible for the way her parents had treated him before she was born, and that she had never done anything to hurt him--at least, not intentionally. But her mere presence was like a thorn in his side, reminding him of all his childhood pain.

"Believe me, for your own peace of mind, you do not want to stir up the past," he said through gritted teeth, struggling against his instincts not to growl at the girl. "As far as I am concerned, Ethan Madley is dead."

"But this is you, isn't it?" Laura persisted stubbornly, holding out a photograph of Ethan and his parents. Things had already begun to go sour at that point, and their smiles were stiff and forced. It had been taken by his step-grandparents during one of the family's rare visits to the Muggle world. Madley had thrown away the photo, but Ash had secretly retrieved and kept it, desperately trying to hang onto the illusion of belonging to a happy family.

"And this is your book, isn't it?" Laura demanded, holding up a battered book of fairy tales. She opened the cover to reveal the name "Ethan Madley" written on the inside, in a child's shaky handwriting.

Ash felt a sharp stab of pain, like a spear lancing through his body at the sight of the book, and his eyes filled with tears. He remembered the book well; it was one of the books he had read to comfort and entertain himself when he had been living with Aunt Ernestine. He had stolen it from Ernestine's library and taken it with him after he and his mother left to move in with Madley, figuring that the old lady wouldn't miss it. He remembered how happy he had been when Madley had officially adopted him and told him that his name was now "Ethan Madley" instead of "Ethan Parker". He remembered how he had proudly written his new name in all his books to celebrate his new status as Madley's son...

He snarled and slapped the book out of the girl's hand, and it fell to the floor, its damaged spine cracking completely and splitting in two. Laura stared at him, her hazel eyes wide with shock, and Tsubasa cried, "Ash!"

"You want the truth that badly, girl?" Ash shouted. "Then I'll tell you the truth, but don't come crying to me afterwards when I shatter all your pretty illusions!"

"Ash!" Tsubasa cried again, reprovingly, but both Ash and Laura ignored him.

"Yes," Laura said, lifting her head stubbornly and almost defiantly, although her face was pale. "Please tell me the truth, Ethan."

Ash was a little taken aback by her response, but he was still too angry to back down. "Do you know why I was in the woods the night that the werewolf found me?" he demanded.

"I know that you quarreled with Mother and Father," Laura replied. "I think that's why they never told me about you, because they blamed themselves for what happened."

"That we 'quarreled'?" Ash laughed bitterly. "That's a bit of an understatement! I ran away to hide in the woods because of this." He pointed to the scar on his face. "And these." He rolled up his sleeves to reveal the scars on his arms.

"I-I don't understand," Laura stammered.

"My loving father inflicted these scars on me," Ash snarled. "He hit me in the face with a whiskey bottle, and it broke and tore my face open. He kept hitting me with the broken bottle and that's where I got these." He held up his arms. "Oh, and just for your information, I didn't run away on the night of the full moon. I ran away about four days before the full moon, and I hid in the woods all that time because I was afraid that Madley would kill me if I went back."

"That's a lie!" Laura shouted hysterically, her face filling with horror and disbelief--and just a hint of doubt. "Father would never do such a thing! Why would he try to kill his own son?!"

"You stupid girl!" Ash shouted back at her. "Don't you realize that I'm not his son? I'm his stepson!"

"What?!" Laura gasped.

"Ash, please calm down," Tsubasa urged, placing a hand on Ash's shoulder; Ash growled and pushed him away.

"I'm Rosalind Parker's son, but not Alden Madley's," Ash snarled. "Rosalind got knocked up by some pureblood boy who wouldn't marry her, and her parents sent us off to live in the country with that sour old bitch Ernestine, to hide the shame of a bastard grandson. For five years, I lived like a prisoner in that house, where no one ever said a kind word to me, where every day Ernestine called me a disgrace to the family and Rosalind complained that I had ruined her life. And then one day, I ran away to take a look at the neighboring farm, and when Madley took me back home, he was instantly smitten with Rosalind's beauty. He was so infatuated that he befriended her bastard son in order to get closer to her, and he even adopted me legally when they got married." He smiled bitterly. "And foolish child that I was, I believed that if I was a good son to him, then someday he would truly come to love me instead of just being kind to me out of obligation."

"Mother never said anything about having a son before she got married," Laura protested weakly.

"Why would she?" Ash countered scornfully. "She never would have told you I existed at all if that senile woman at the general store hadn't let it slip." Laura bit her lip, falling silent, and Ash felt a sense of malicious satisfaction as he saw that she was beginning to believe him. "But even though my stepfather saved her from disgrace," Ash said, continuing his story, "Rosalind wasn't grateful. Instead, she resented that she had been forced to marry a Mudblood. You see, the Parkers always fancied themselves to be purebloods, although their own blood history was suspect, which was why my pureblood father refused to marry my mother. And when Madley saw that Rosalind looked down on him, he began to resent her as well. He demanded that she give him a child of his own blood, but she could not or would not get pregnant, and that infuriated him. He came to hate us both, but he took out his anger on me. He started drinking heavily, and when he got drunk, he would beat me."

"No," Laura whispered desperately, staring at him with pleading eyes that silently begged him to take back his words. "That isn't true."

"Every word of it is true," Ash taunted her. "If you don't believe me, ask the workers at the farm. I'm sure they'll lie and deny it, but you'll still be able to see the guilt in their eyes. I thought they were my friends, but they abandoned me when they saw that I had fallen out of favor with my stepfather. They pretended not to see the bruises on my face. Only one of them, a man named John, was honest enough to tell me straight out that he couldn't do anything to help me because he was afraid of losing his job."

"John?" Laura asked, sounding startled. "John Zeller? He's my friend Rosie's father...he was the only one who was willing to tell me even a little about you." Her eyes filled with sudden comprehension and horror as she whispered, "I couldn't understand why he sounded so guilty when he talked about you."

"My beloved stepfather beat me," Ash said almost triumphantly, taking pleasure in the look of horror and despair in his half-sister's eyes, even as a small part of him was disgusted by what he was doing. "He burned me." He pulled open his robe and shirt to expose the cigar burns on his chest. "He refused to send me to Hogwarts out of sheer spite. And my mother--dear, sweet, beautiful Rosalind--never said a word in my defense, never even once tried to stop him from hitting me."

"No," Laura whimpered, shaking her head frantically as tears streamed down her face. "No, he wouldn't...they wouldn't...they're good people, they love me...my father never even spanked me when I was little..."

The words "they're good people, they love me" filled Ash with a blinding fury that swept away any faint stirrings of guilt or pity that he might have felt for the girl. "Of course he'd never hit you," Ash sneered. "After all, you're his 'real' child, not some bastard brat that he never wanted in the first place. He told my mother, 'You're a whore who spread your legs for your pureblood lover, but you won't give me, your lawful husband, an heir?!'"

"Ash, that's enough!"

"That was the night he cut open my face," Ash ranted, only dimly aware that Tsubasa was shouting at him angrily. "I ran away to hide in a cave in the woods, and I bled so badly that I thought I would die. That's why the werewolf found me, you know; it scented my blood. It attacked me and turned me, and I could hear Madley and some of the workers and townspeople searching for me the next day, and they said that the Ministry would put down the werewolf when they caught it, so I ran away to London because I thought they would kill me too when they discovered that I was a werewolf. So now, dear sister, do you understand why I never want to see my mother or stepfather again as long as I live?!"

Laura ran out of the room, sobbing, and the rage gradually receded enough for Ash to become aware that Tsubasa was shaking him by the shoulders and calling out his name. "Ash! Ash!"

Ash blinked, and the crane man's face came into focus, full of anger and fear and concern, and Ash suddenly had the incongruous thought that Tsubasa was either very brave or very foolish to grab hold of a raging werewolf.

When he saw that Ash had calmed down, Tsubasa released him and said sarcastically, "You must be very proud of yourself, driving an innocent girl to tears."

Ash did feel ashamed when he thought about how he had treated Laura, but part of him wasn't sorry at all. "I just gave her what she asked for; I told her the truth," he retorted, then added defensively, "In fact, I did her a favor! I taught her that the world isn't always a nice place and that life isn't like a fairy tale. If she goes through life with that naive, trusting attitude, she's going to get burned sooner or later, by someone a lot less nice than I am."

"I'm sure that your motives were purely altruistic," Tsubasa replied, glaring at Ash sternly, his voice still filled with sarcasm. "But you didn't have to be so hard on her. She's only a child."

"Oh, and I suppose there's a nice way to tell someone that their father is a monster?" Ash snapped. "And besides, I was only twelve when I was turned and had to fend for myself on the streets of London. When I was her age, I was working for a living, stealing and scavenging and doing whatever I had to in order to survive! There were times when I picked food out of trash cans, and times when I went to bed hungry, while she is living in Hogwarts being fed meals prepared by house-elves!"

Tsubasa's expression softened slightly and he reached out to lay a hand on Ash's shoulder. "I know that it isn't fair," he said quietly. "But it isn't Laura's fault. She is not the one you should be angry at."

"Don't you think I know that?" Ash asked wearily. "I told you this meeting was a bad idea."

"Ash..." Tsubasa said helplessly.

"I'm sorry," Ash said, turning away to avoid meeting his eyes. "I think I'll skip our lesson today; I'm not really in the mood for it. I'll see you later." Then he quickly turned and walked out of the room before Tsubasa could stop him.
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"Ash, wait," Tsubasa called out, but Ash was already gone. He heaved a sigh; things had gone even worse than he had expected. Ash had treated Laura cruelly, but Tsubasa could understand why he had lost his temper. It was bad enough that his parents had neglected and abused him, but it must have been like rubbing salt into already raw wounds to learn that his parents had treated their second child so lovingly.

{It was my fault, too,} Tsubasa thought to himself. He shouldn't have pushed Ash to meet with Laura, when Ash clearly hadn't wanted to. He could sympathize with Ash, but he couldn't truly understand what Ash had gone through, because child abuse was virtually unknown among his people. The crane folk were long-lived, and births were correspondingly rare, so each child born was regarded as precious. The crane folk were also gentle by nature, and none of them would ever raise a hand to a child in anger. And they were incredibly loyal; although Tsubasa had chosen to leave his homeland, he knew that he could return at any time, despite the strained relationship between himself and some of his kinfolk. He knew that even Kazuhiko would give him help and shelter if he asked for it, in spite of the fact that the crane nobleman feared and despised everything that Tsubasa represented: change from the traditional ways. Of course, Kazuhiko would probably be rather high-handed about it, but still, it would never even occur to him to turn a fellow clan member away, even a rebel like Tsubasa. And if the clan was ever in danger, Tsubasa would willingly lay his own life down for them--even ill-tempered, narrow-minded Kazuhiko.

Tsubasa wondered if that was the true meaning of "family"--people who would take you in and stand by your side when you were in need, even if you didn't always get along with each other. Tsubasa had felt like a misfit among his own people for most of his life, but after hearing Ash's story, he thought of them more kindly now. He would probably still end up quarreling with them on his next visit home, but in a way, those arguments were borne out of love. The clan elders were like overprotective parents who were stubbornly certain that they knew what was right for their child, even though the child might have completely different ideas about what was right for him.

But Ash had never received even that frustrating, quarrelsome form of love from his parents. Tsubasa knelt down and picked up the broken book of fairy tales that Laura and Ash had left on the floor, forgotten. He looked at Ethan's name written on the inside cover, gently tracing his fingers over the letters, and he could almost feel the hope and joy that had gone into that childish scrawl. His heart ached in sympathy for that boy, who had wanted nothing more than to be loved by his parents, and also for the cynical man that the boy had become--a man who feared to love, because he didn't seem to believe that he was worthy of being loved. Tsubasa remembered how Ash had been afraid to reveal his scars the night they had made love, but the scars on his soul were far deeper than any of the superficial marks on his body. He wasn't sure if he was capable of healing Ash's wounds, and he wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to try.

But still, he found himself attempting to mend the book, because it had obviously once meant a great deal to Ash. He pressed the two broken halves of the book together and ran his finger down the spine. The outer binding was made of cloth, and it was child's play for a crane, even one as weak in Weaving magic as Tsubasa was, to cause the torn edges of the cloth to firmly knit together once again. A Reparo spell mended the inner spine, where the glue and cardboard had fallen apart, and although it wasn't quite as good as new, the book was whole and in slightly better condition than it had been before Ash had knocked it out of Laura's hand.

Tsubasa stared at the book in his hands and sighed, wishing that it would be as easy to mend things between Ash and his sister.
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While Ash was meeting with Laura, Lupin was in Lukas's office, interviewing the other werewolf for his book. Originally, he had intended it to be mainly a history textbook, with a bit of biology and potions thrown in, to simply give the wizarding public the true facts about lycanthropy and clear up all the false rumors and stereotypes. But after talking with Severus about the werewolf Death Eaters, Lupin thought that maybe it should be a biography of sorts as well. Reading a story written from a werewolf's point of view might well do more to promote understanding than a book full of dry facts. He wanted his readers to understand the fear and loneliness that most werewolves experienced, and he also wanted them to understand the bravery and strength of people like Lukas and his pack, who had managed to help each other and find friendship and love in spite of all the hardships they had suffered.

Lukas willingly shared his life story, although Lupin already knew most of it, but was hesitant to talk about the individual members of his pack. "It's a kind of pact between us, you see, that we won't ask each other about the past," Lukas explained. "People can volunteer that information if they wish, but most of us want to forget the past and begin a new life."

"I understand," Lupin replied. "But may I speak with those of your pack who are willing?"

Lukas hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "I'll tell them about your book, and tell those who are willing to contact you. I think that would be better than you going to them and asking for their life histories; some of us get a bit touchy about the past."

"I understand," Lupin repeated, smiling. "I don't wish to cause pain or stir up bad memories for anyone. But I think that this will help the human wizards to see us as people and individuals instead of faceless monsters."

"I suppose you're right," Lukas said with a shrug, still looking a bit skeptical. "You've certainly managed to charm the students at Hogwarts, at least."

"So have you," Lupin teased.

"I doubt that my Physical Defense students would agree with you," Lukas laughed good-naturedly.

"Well, in the meantime, would you mind talking about the past with me?" Lupin asked with a smile.

"I thought that's what we were doing, Remus," Lukas replied, looking a little puzzled.

"No, I meant about a specific time in the past," Lupin said, his smile fading into a more solemn expression. "The last years of the first war, to be specific."

"Well, mostly we--the pack and I--were trying to lie low and avoid attracting the attention of either side," Lukas said, still looking puzzled. "What brought up this subject?"

"Severus and I were talking about the old days," Lupin replied. "He was telling me about a small pack of werewolves that worked for the Death Eaters, led by a man named Fenrir Greyback."

"He was the sort who gave the rest of us werewolves a bad name," Lukas said contemptuously, grimacing slightly.

"You knew him?" Lupin asked, startled.

"No, but I knew of him," Lukas replied. "I read about his exploits in the Daily Prophet, like everyone else, and word had spread on the street that he was looking to recruit other werewolves into the Death Eaters. He said that the Dark Lord had promised to grant the werewolves their freedom if they would fight for him, but I doubt that even Greyback really believed that Voldemort would keep his word. Personally, I think that he joined the Death Eaters simply because it gave him license to hunt and kill, and indulge his lust for blood."

"You say that you didn't know him, but you seem to know a lot about him," Lupin observed curiously.

"My information mostly comes secondhand," Lukas said, smiling bitterly. "Several members of my pack were turned by him. He is the reason why they lost their homes and jobs and families. And he's probably indirectly responsible for several more turnings in my pack. I can't prove it, but I suspect that many of the pack were bitten by werewolves created by Greyback."

"Oh," Lupin whispered, turning a little pale. He knew that Greyback had been an evil man, but he had underestimated the impact that the werewolf had made on so many lives. If what Lukas said was true, he had continued to hurt people even after he was dead, through the werewolves he had created. "I can feel some sympathy for werewolves who bit people unintentionally, since they were not in control of themselves at the time. Although perhaps they should have been more careful to restrain themselves during the full moon..." Lupin's voice trailed off as he guiltily recalled all the times that he had run free with the Marauders during the full moon. "There but for the grace of God go I," he murmured softly. "I must admit, I was a bit careless myself at times, but fortunately I was lucky and never bit anyone. But what Greyback did was unforgivable. Severus told me that he deliberately bit people, including at least one specific target that Voldemort wanted to bring into the Death Eaters."

"I've heard that he forced some of his victims to join his pack," Lukas said grimly. "In a way, it was fortunate that there was no Wolfsbane Potion back then, because Greyback wasn't in control of himself during the full moon, so some of his victims managed to flee from him, and some he wasn't even aware that he had turned."

"My memories of the full moon were always fuzzy at best without the potion," Lupin said. "Then again, I didn't particularly want to remember most of those nights. Greyback relished being a wolf and hurting people, so maybe his memories would have been stronger."

"I had recently begun to form my own pack back then," Lukas continued. "We were small in numbers, and we knew that we weren't strong enough to take on Greyback and the Death Eaters. And with Greyback causing a panic by attacking people, the Ministry was arresting any unregistered werewolves they came across, whether or not they were Death Eaters. Even werewolves who were purely victims, like the ones that Greyback turned, were taken into 'protective custody' if they were unlucky enough to be identified by the Ministry--supposedly for their own safety. We didn't want to be targeted by either side, so we were careful to keep our existence a secret. As far as Greyback or anyone else knew, we were just a bunch of human thieves and smugglers, no different from the rest of the scum in Knockturn Alley, and there was no reason for Voldemort to want to recruit us. As for the Ministry, they were too busy dealing with the Death Eaters to bother with a few petty thieves."

"But if Greyback had lived...?" Lupin mused thoughtfully.

"Then I suppose I would have had to fight him sooner or later," Lukas said. "We wouldn't have been able to hide from him forever, and he would have never have tolerated the existence of another pack in England; he would've seen us as a challenge to his authority. To be honest, I'm not sure if I could have beaten him. I fought many challengers before the pack fully accepted me as their leader, but Greyback was different from your typical werewolf. You and I often speak of embracing the wolf within, but Greyback embraced all of the curse--even the insanity and the berserker rage and the desire to kill, and that made him strong in a way that goes beyond physical strength. But I do know one thing." He growled softly, baring his teeth. "If we had fought, either I would have killed him or he would have killed me. I would never have submitted to the likes of Greyback."

"But if he had killed you, then your pack would have fallen under Greyback's control," Lupin said, turning pale at the thought.

"Well then, it's a good thing that I never had to fight him," Lukas said lightly, although there was still a feral gleam in his eyes. "You worry too much about things that will never happen, Lupin."

"I suppose you're right," Lupin agreed, laughing a little at his own fears. "Severus always says that I spend too much time thinking about what-ifs. I suppose that there are enough things in the present to worry about without wondering what might have happened if history had taken a different course."

Just then, Ash stalked into the office, a black expression on his face that seemed to hover somewhere between depression and anger, although his robes and shirt were hanging open, leaving his chest bare and somewhat distracting attention from his face. Lupin couldn't help but notice that there were a number of small round scars scattered across his chest.

"Finished your lesson with Tsubasa already?" Lukas asked with a wry smile, gazing pointedly at Ash's chest.

The other werewolf flushed and hastily buttoned up his shirt. "It's not what you think," he snarled, then grabbed a handful of Floo Powder and vanished through the fireplace before Lukas could say anything else.

"I guess he still hasn't made up with the crane," Lukas sighed. "He's been in a foul mood all weekend, or so the other wolves tell me."

"Did he and Tsubasa have a fight?" Lupin asked curiously, and his friend smiled at him.

"Why, were you planning to write a gossip column for the Daily Prophet?" Lukas joked.

Lupin laughed, a bit sheepishly. "I know that it's none of my business, but as Severus likes to say, a Gryffindor can't help poking his nose into other people's business. And I did happen to notice that Tsubasa never showed up for dinner in the Great Hall last Thursday night, which coincidentally, was the day he and Ash had a lesson." Lupin smiled slyly. "And I couldn't help but notice that Tsubasa looked a little...hmm...battered...the next morning. You and I both know that werewolves can be very...ah...enthusiastic lovers."

Lukas grinned without any embarrassment, exposing his sharp canine teeth. "Yeah, wolves like to play rough sometimes," he agreed. "I don't really know what happened between the two of them. Tsubasa showed up at the townhouse on Thursday night, saying that he needed to talk to Ash, only it sounds like they didn't really do much 'talking'. I wasn't there myself, but of course the other wolves told me all about it." Lukas grinned again, then frowned, looking puzzled and concerned. "So you would've thought Ash would be in a good mood, but he's been in a bad mood ever since that night. I just assumed that they had a lover's spat or something, and when Ash showed up for his lesson today, I thought that he was going to make up with Tsubasa, but I guess I was wrong. I don't suppose that you know anything about it, Remus?"

Lupin shook his head. "All I know is what I just told you. Tsubasa doesn't seem to be in a bad mood, but I'm not sure that I'd be able to tell if he was. He has very good control over his emotions, almost as much as Severus."

"I wonder what they fought about?" Lukas muttered to himself, tipping his chair back and casually resting his feet on his desk as he frowned up at the ceiling thoughtfully.

Lupin smiled as he imagined how McGonagall would react if she saw that; she had once docked points from James for doing the exact same thing in class when they had been students, and he didn't think that Lukas being a fellow teacher would soften her reaction in the slightest. If anything, she would probably be more severe on him, saying that a teacher needed to set a good example for his students. His smile grew wider as he pictured the fierce werewolf leader being scolded like a misbehaving first-year student.

Fortunately for Lupin, the other werewolf was too preoccupied to notice his smile. "Ash has never been in a serious relationship before," Lukas said to the ceiling. "He doesn't have much experience with this sort of thing."

"Really?" Lupin asked. "I've heard that he's quite the playboy."

Lukas blinked, as if suddenly recalling Lupin's presence, and settled his chair back down on all four legs, swinging his feet off the desk. "There's a difference between casual sex and a serious relationship," he said dryly. "Having experience with the first doesn't necessarily translate into being good at the latter."

"No, I suppose not," Lupin said agreeably. "But I've never been one for casual affairs myself. Severus has always been the only one that I've desired."

Lukas rolled his eyes and said, "If you can say things like that with a straight face, you ought to be writing romance novels instead of textbooks." Lupin just laughed, and Lukas said more seriously, "Ash is an adult, and I suppose that he has to work this out for himself, but still, I'm worried about him."

"You're very protective of your pack, aren't you?" Lupin asked with a smile.

"Yes, but Ash especially," Lukas replied. "I suppose it's because I found him and brought him into the pack when he was only a child." He smiled, the normally fierce and feral expression on his face softening into something more tender. "As young as he was, he was stubbornly determined to survive, despite everything he had suffered, when many adults who are turned lose their will to live and either commit suicide or kill themselves more slowly by drowning their sorrows in drugs or alcohol. That's why I've always been more protective of Ash than the wolves who joined my pack as adults. I've always thought of him as my little brother, almost like a son, although I'm not really old enough to be his father." He sighed. "I know I shouldn't meddle, but...you seem to be friendly with Tsubasa, Remus..."

"Meddling is what we Gryffindors do best," Lupin said, grinning. "I'll see what I can find out."

Part 7b