FIC: Phoenix Rising, Part 2 of 37

[geri_chan]

Title: Phoenix Rising, Part 2 of 37
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Snape/Lupin
Word count: ~8,490
Warning: AU; my own version of Year 6 (was written pre-HBP).
Author's notes: {} Indicates character's unspoken thoughts
Disclaimer: No money is being made off this story; consider it a little wish fulfillment on my part.
Sequel to: Always (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6), Summer Vacation (Part 1, Part 2), For Old Time's Sake (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5), Three's a Crowd (or, Summer Vacation II) (Part 1, Part 2), Return of the Raven (Part 1, Part 2), Phoenix Reborn (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8)
Summary: The Order of the Phoenix tries to deal with the aftermath of Voldemort's return, and Tonks accidentally witnesses a private moment between Snape and Lupin.

Part 1

***

"I hope he makes it upstairs without tripping and breaking his neck," said Sirius, shaking his head slightly. "Werewolves can't hold their drink, I guess." Sirius himself felt pleasantly mellow, but not drunk.

Branwen smiled at him; as far as Sirius could tell, she wasn't drunk either--which was just as well, he supposed. It probably wasn't a good idea for a sorceress of her power to get rip-roaring drunk, particularly not one who had the ability to summon demons...

"I think Remus is not used to indulging," Branwen was saying, breaking into Sirius's thoughts. "As a werewolf, he has fought all his life to keep control of himself, and this--" She held up her wineglass. "--represents a loss of control. It's a good sign, I think, that he feels safe enough with us to let down his guard enough to enjoy a few glasses of wine."

She started to say something else, then changed her mind and fell silent, but Sirius suspected he knew what she was going to say: that it was also thanks to Snape and the Wolfsbane Potion he'd helped to create that Remus no longer feared his inner wolf. Sirius frowned a little as he stared into his wineglass, twirling the stem between his fingers and watching the dark red liquid swirl around in the glass. Tonight was the first time since Remus had returned from Hogwarts that they had been able to laugh and joke easily with each other; up till now, things had been a little strained between them. They still had not spoken of the fact that Remus had tried to stop Snape from saving Sirius, but it hung over them like a specter, casting a pall over what should otherwise have been a happy time: Harry had been rescued, and Sirius's name was cleared. But Sirius brooded quietly to himself, hurt that his best friend would have let him die rather than let Snape risk his life to save him. Not that he was pleased about being indebted to Snape, either! And Snape was Remy's lover, but still...he saw Branwen watching him, a thoughtful look in her green eyes, and then he realized that something else had been nagging at his subconscious.

"Say...Bran...?" Sirius asked hesitantly.

"'Bran'?" his former teacher asked, raising her eyebrows, and Bane gave him a malevolent look.

Sirius laughed. "Sorry, Professor. It just slipped out. You don't like nicknames?"

"'Bran'--it makes me sound like a muffin or a bowl of cereal," she complained.

"BranWEN, then," Sirius said with a smile.

"Yes, Sirius?"

His playful expression suddenly turned solemn. "Harry told me that you held Remus back so Snape could cast the Blood Healing spell on me."

"Yes, that's correct," she said calmly.

"Why?!" Sirius burst out. "My own best friend tried to stop Snape, so why would you let him risk his life for me? Snape's always been your favorite; together you and Remy could've stopped him--so why'd you let him do it?"

Branwen stared at him for a moment, then to his complete and utter surprise, said, "I love all three of you, Sirius." She smiled a little as his mouth dropped open in shock. "I should let Albus give you the same lecture he gave Severus, about love not being like a pie. Love is not something you can divide up into pieces, Sirius. I wouldn't say that I love him more, but yes, I have always been especially protective of Severus, probably for the same reasons that Remus is."

When she did not elaborate, Sirius said impatiently, "Which are...?"

"Pain and loneliness and bitterness. Emotions with which I am very familiar." Sirius looked startled. "My parents were murdered when I was fifteen years old, Sirius. I had no close friends and few people I could trust. Like Severus, I learned to wear a mask, learned to keep up a cold and unyielding appearance so that no one would see how much I hurt inside. I never became as embittered as Severus, but I had Bane to comfort me, and my teachers to help me; my family was eccentric but loving, so I never learned that complete distrust of humanity that Severus did. But would it surprise you, Sirius, to know that I also faced temptation? Do you recall the conversation we had after Rosier and Wilkes were killed? How we argued about Severus, and I told you how hard it is to resist temptation when you stand alone?"

"Yes," Sirius murmured. "You said by taking Remus from him, I took away his support, that he might have been able to resist Voldemort with Remus's help."

"I was speaking from experience, Sirius. I too, was tempted to turn to the Dark Arts." Seeing Sirius's shocked and horrified expression, Branwen added, "Oh, not to join Voldemort, for I suspected he was behind my parents' deaths, but to use my powers to take revenge for those deaths. I was tempted to summon Araqiel; thanks to his pledge, and the spell he and Regan laid upon the house, all that I would need to do would be to spill a drop of my blood on the floor. I could have loosed a Demon Prince and all his minions upon the world, could have used them to kill anyone even remotely connected with my parents' deaths..."

Sirius shuddered a little, at the thought of so much power lying in the hands of a grief-stricken child, and Branwen nodded grimly.

"But...I did not. Because, once summoned, demons are not so easily dismissed, and they probably would have killed innocents along with the guilty. Because that was not what my parents would have wanted. And because, although I was mostly alone, I still had the support of teachers like Dumbledore and McGonagall. And so my moment of temptation passed. Severus was utterly alone, and he succumbed to temptation, but at least he did finally realize he was wrong, and he has spent the rest of his life trying to atone for his mistakes. I suspect, no matter what he does, no matter how many lives he saves, no matter how many people offer him forgiveness, he will never feel like it has been enough."

Sirius was quiet for a long moment. Branwen and Lupin were making it harder and harder for him to keep hating Snape, damn them! Finally he said, "That still doesn't answer my question. If you loved him and wanted to protect him, why did you let him risk his life for me?"

"Because he's an adult, Sirius, and it was his choice to make, right or wrong, foolish or wise. It was not my place to stop him. And...he did it out of love, Sirius."

Sirius scowled. "Are you sure? He rubbed it in my face, taunted me with it, that Remus would rather have let me die than let him risk his life..."

Branwen sighed. "Even Severus would not risk his life just to spite you, Sirius. It was love that motivated him, in a rather twisted, bitter sort of way. He is, as I told Harry, a complicated man. I think he has always believed that Remus loved you more than him, which is why he hates you so much. And that is why he was willing to sacrifice his life--not for you, but for Remus, whom he believed loved and needed you. Which he does, but not more than he loves and needs Severus." She smiled helplessly and shook her head. "A rather complex and tangled situation..."

Sirius sat there, feeling rather stunned. He gulped down the rest of his wine in an attempt to calm himself, and muttered, "Just like Snape, to turn a noble act into something twisted and self-pitying..."

He expected Branwen to start chewing him out as she usually did when he made snide comments about Snape, but she just sighed and said, "Both Severus and Remus seem to have a bit of a martyr complex, I'm afraid."

Sirius thought of Remus, stubbornly living in poverty for years, rather than relying on the "charity" of friends, and of Snape, doggedly risking his life playing spy all these years, without seeking any credit for his heroics. He thought of them both, suffering in silence and pining after their first loves for nearly twenty years, and he sighed in disgust. "Two masochists--they make a perfect couple," he muttered.

Branwen laughed a little, and Sirius managed a small smile. Still, he could not let go of the thought that Remus would have let him die; he kept prodding at it, as one can't help but probe at a sore tooth with one's tongue, no matter how much it hurts...

"Don't be angry at Remus," Branwen said softly. "It's an impossible choice, to choose between the lives of two people you love. If Remus had been able to cast the spell himself, would you have wanted him to risk his life for yours?"

"Of course not!"

"But it's all right for Severus to risk his life? Because you don't care if he lives or dies?"

"That's not what I meant!" Sirius protested, his face turning red with shame.

"All right," Branwen said calmly. "What if it were Harry's life at stake; would you let Remus risk his life then?"

"No, because I'd do it! Harry's my godson--"

Suppose you weren't there," Branwen said patiently. "Then would you let Remus take the risk?" Sirius hesitated. "Or would you just let Harry die?"

"I--I don't know," Sirius stammered. "How could I make a choice like that?"

"Would you let Harry risk his life for Remus?"

"No!" Sirius burst out, then looked startled, and a little guilty.

"Why not?" Branwen asked, her green eyes narrowing as she stared at Sirius intently.

"Be-because Harry's a child! We're supposed to protect him, not the other way around!" Sirius scowled as Branwen smiled, recalling she had thrown almost those very same words in his face last year, when she had accused him of treating Harry like James--treating him too much like a friend, and not enough like a godson. "I don't see what any of this has to do with Snape! He's hardly a child!"

"No, but Remus sees him as being in need of protection," Branwen replied. "In a roundabout way, you could consider it a compliment." Sirius stared at her uncomprehendingly, and she patiently explained, "You're strong enough to stand on your own, Sirius. You've always been brave, confident, popular, and able to take care of yourself." She paused, perhaps thinking of all the times she had accused him of behaving childishly, and added dryly, "Well, most of the time, anyway. Severus, despite all his bluster and his outward pretense of not caring about anyone, is far more insecure, lonely, and vulnerable. He always has been, and the time he spends with the Death Eaters probably doesn't do wonders for his mental health and stability. He needs Remus, Sirius, more than you do. Note that I said 'needs,' not 'loves.'"

Sirius recalled how Lupin had tried to explain that Snape's hostility towards him had been born out of jealousy and insecurity. But it was so hard to reconcile the arrogant, acerbic Potions Master with the image of the lonely, needy boy that Remus and Branwen painted. "But--"

"You can choose to make an issue of it," Branwen said coldly. "But you will only hurt Remus needlessly." She added in a more gentle voice, "Remus doesn't love you any less, but there are times when the needs of one's mate or spouse must come before those of one's friends--even a best friend or a blood brother. Perhaps one day you will understand, when you fall in love and marry--providing you can find someone willing to marry you."

"BRANWEN!"

She giggled, looking surprisingly girlish, and said, "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for," but didn't look very contrite. "Well, perhaps a better analogy would be, one day you may find that you must put the needs of your godson ahead of the needs of your friend, but that won't mean that you love Remus any less."

"All right," Sirius conceded, not liking it but unable to argue with her logic. "I won't give Moony a hard time about it. But," he added stubbornly, "I still don't like Snape."

"Well, Snape doesn't like you," Branwen pointed out. "So you're even. But in some ways, Severus understands the concept of love better than you do, Sirius."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he demanded indignantly.

"When you truly love someone, you care more about their happiness than your own." Branwen drained her glass of wine, said, "Well, goodnight, Sirius," then rose from her seat and left the room.

"She's got teaching in her blood, all right," Sirius muttered. "Always lecturing!" But he felt guilt stirring inside him as he thought about his behavior over the past year. Had he ever once thought about what Lupin, or for that matter, Harry, needed? He recalled how he'd accused Harry of being cowardly, when he didn't want Sirius to risk coming to visit him in Hogsmeade, recalled how he'd fought with Remus over Snape. {Me, me, me,} he thought miserably, {it was all about me! "I'm lonely, I'm tired of being cooped up in this house all the time, I don't want that slimy git in my house"--all I ever thought about was myself! I didn't realize how hard a time Harry was having at school, or how lonely Moony was without Snape; I was too busy feeling sorry for myself...} But was Snape really any better? After all, he was the one who had exposed Remus as a werewolf and forced him to leave Hogwarts; not exactly a noble act. Sirius almost felt smug for a moment, before his conscience began nagging at him. Against his will, memories from last summer popped into his head: Lupin sitting by the fire reading a book, looking up and smiling as Snape bent down to kiss him on the cheek; Lupin in wolf-form, lying in Snape's lap, as Snape smiled down at the wolf almost tenderly, scratching behind its ears; and Snape just returned from his meeting with the Death Eaters, his black eyes haunted and despairing, his voice raw and hoarse from screaming, taking Lupin into his arms and clinging to him desperately... Sirius squirmed uncomfortably in his seat, and polished off what remained of the second bottle of wine. Snape had, apparently, helped to create the Wolfsbane Potion for Lupin, this fact having been discovered only because the co-creator, Naoto Kamiyama, had spilled the beans to Lupin. And Snape, however twisted and self-pitying his reasons, had risked his life to save Sirius because he thought it would make Lupin happy. Sirius shook his head in disgust; who knew what really went on in the Potions Master's pointy little head? Trying to understand how Snape thought was giving him a headache... {Or maybe it's the wine,} he thought fuzzily. He briefly contemplated going down to the cellar for another bottle, then decided against it; he was probably going to have a hangover tomorrow morning as it was. He yawned and pushed back his chair, then headed to bed; trying to figure out how he and Snape and Lupin were going to deal with each other could wait until tomorrow...

***

The break-in at the Ministry of Magic had been a complete disaster; Gwydion had been lucky to escape unharmed--he had been lucky to escape, period! With a little less luck, he would be languishing in Azkaban with Malfoy and the others right now, although going to Azkaban might be easier than facing his mother's wrath if she ever found out he had made a pact with Voldemort.

So when the Mark began burning on his arm, he was tempted to ignore the Dark Lord's summons. But the longer he ignored it, the worse the pain got, until sweat was beading on his forehead, and he tasted blood in his mouth as he bit down on his lower lip to repress a cry of pain. Meanwhile, Gilbert was clutching his arm and moaning out loud. Gwydion frowned; their supply of the Mind Restoration Potion was running low...the Dark Lord doled it out to them a few bottles at a time, no doubt to ensure their loyalty. Gwydion cursed under his breath and reached into the back of his closet for a pair of hooded black robes...

The Dark Lord had gathered his Death Eaters around him; their ranks were much reduced after the failed mission to steal the prophecy. Gwydion couldn't be sure, since everyone was masked, but he didn't think that Severus Snape was among them this time. He recalled how the Hogwarts teacher had fawned over his Master, kneeling at the Dark Lord's feet; he had always suspected that slimy bastard was still a Death Eater, though he had supposedly reformed. And since Snape had testified on Ariane's behalf, that probably meant his sister had been a Death Eater after all, fifteen years ago. Beneath his mask, Gwydion frowned; as much as he hated Snape, he was disappointed by the Potions Master's absence, since Snape was the one who brewed the potion that kept Gilbert sane.

Then Voldemort's words broke into his thoughts. "...use your Ministry contacts, Gwydion."

"My Lord?" Gwydion asked, startled.

The Dark Lord's red eyes narrowed dangerously. "Are you not paying attention, Gwydion? With Lucius and the others in prison, you are the highest-ranking and most respected wizard in our little group. You do not have a job in the Ministry, but I think we can soon remedy that; there are several job openings now, and I'm sure your friends can put in a good word for you."

"And what is it you want me to do at the Ministry, my Lord?" Their family was wealthy enough so that Gwydion did not have to work--he was not lazy, and in fact worked on researching and developing spells, but he liked to work independently, and on projects of his own choosing. The thought of holding down a normal job was distinctly unappealing to him.

"You will do what Lucius and the others have done," Voldemort said impatiently. "Gather information, and attempt to sway Ministry policy in our favor when possible. If you can get a position in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, all the better. I want you to find out all you can about the current security arrangements at Azkaban."

"Azkaban, my Lord?" Gwydion asked, with a sinking feeling in his stomach as he realized what was coming next.

The Death Eaters standing closest to Gwydion and his brother covertly began inching away, not wanting to be near them when their Master lost his temper. "Yes, Gwydion!" Voldemort snapped. "So that we may free our imprisoned comrades, of course!"

"Wait a minute!" shouted Gwydion. "I'll feed you information, but I'm not getting involved in any break-in! Especially not after the way our last mission fell apart! Do you have any idea what would happen if I became publicly exposed as--"

"CRUCIO!" Voldemort shouted, raising his wand, and Gwydion fell screaming to the floor. Gilbert looked terrified, his eyes darting back and forth between his brother and the Dark Lord. His hand started to move towards his wand, then stopped as he saw the look in Voldemort's crimson eyes.

Finally, the Dark Lord ceased the spell. Gwydion lay there, panting helplessly for a moment, then with Gilbert's help, managed to get back to his feet.

"Do you, Gwydion, have any idea what I will do to you if you defy me?" Voldemort asked in a deadly whisper. He pointed his wand, this time at Gilbert, and once again shouted, "Crucio!" Gwydion immediately reached for his wand, but before he could grasp it, found the wands of all his fellow Death Eaters pointed at him. He slowly lowered his hand. "Attempting to attack your Lord, Gwydion," said Voldemort, shaking his head. "A very serious crime. Unfortunately, it is your brother who will pay." He flicked his wand, and Gilbert's pain seemed to increase: his screams grew louder, and he went into convulsions on the floor.

"Stop, my Lord, please stop!" Gwydion shouted. "It was I who defied you; punish me, not my brother!"

"I will punish whomever I please," Voldemort said coldly, but after another minute, ended the spell. Gwydion turned to tend to his brother, but Voldemort raised his wand and shouted, "Imperio!" Gwydion found himself freezing in place. "Come to me, Gwydion," Voldemort said. "Crawl to me on your hands and knees, and show me what a good little Death Eater you are." To his horror, Gwydion found himself sinking to his knees and crawling jerkily across the room, as if he were a puppet, with someone else manipulating the strings. When he reached the Dark Lord, he felt an invisible hand pushing his head down until his lips brushed the hem of Voldemort's robe. "Beg my forgiveness, Gwydion," Voldemort said coldly.

"I beg your forgiveness, Master," Gwydion heard his voice say, then suddenly his body was his own again, and he fell into a trembling heap at Voldemort's feet.

"You seem to have gotten the misguided notion that we exist to serve you, and not the other way around, Donner," the Dark Lord continued in that cold voice. "I trust we have set you straight?"

"Y-yes, Master," Gwydion gasped.

Voldemort reached down and tapped Gwydion's left arm lightly with his wand. "Once that Mark is set on your skin, you belong to me. Permanently. No one is allowed to withdraw from the ranks of the Death Eaters. If you ever try to escape me, Gwydion, I will hunt you down and kill you, no matter where you go, no matter how far you flee. But I will torture your brother--and your mother, too--in front of you before you die. Is that clear, Gwydion?"

"Yes, Master," Gwydion whispered.

"Now, what is it that you are going to do for me?"

"Obtain a position in the Ministry of Magic, preferably in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, and help break my comrades out of Azkaban," Gwydion said in a trembling voice. He glanced up, saw Voldemort frowning slightly, and hastily added, "Master."

"That wasn't so hard, now was it?" Voldemort asked pleasantly.

"No, Master."

"Very well, you are dismissed." As Gwydion rose to his feet, Voldemort reached out and touched Gwydion's chin with his long, white fingers and tipped his face up. "Oh, and Gwydion?"

"Y-yes, my Lord?" Gwydion asked, unable to repress a shudder.

"Do not disappoint me again."

"Never, my Lord!"

"Good."

As soon as Voldemort released him, Gwydion grabbed his brother and fled. They were still low on the Mind Restoration Potion, but now was probably not a good time to ask for more...

***

"Hello, Severus," Lupin said, his eyes lighting up and a smile spreading across his face as Snape entered the Grimmauld Place house. Several other Order members had just arrived or were arriving, and they gave the pair a curious look.

"I'd like a word with you, Lupin," Snape snarled through gritted teeth, grabbing the werewolf by the arm and dragging him off to a more secluded part of the house.

"The meeting starts in ten minutes," Mrs. Weasley called after them, looking worried.

Kingsley Shacklebolt shook his head. "I don't know how Remus can put up with him; if I had to work that closely with Snape, I could probably stand about ten minutes worth of his snide remarks and insults before I'd punch him in the nose."

"You could hardly miss such a big target! But then he'd probably poison you," Tonks giggled, then subsided as Mrs. Weasley frowned disapprovingly at her.

"Remus is very good-natured," Mrs. Weasley said. "And besides, Severus has his good points."

"Such as?" Tonks asked curiously.

"Well, he is risking his life spying on the Death Eaters," Mrs. Weasley pointed out. "And...er..." She thought for a minute, having difficulty coming up with anything else. "And the children are very well-behaved when he stays for dinner!" she said triumphantly. Tonks gave a little snort of amusement, and Mrs. Weasley frowned again. "And he did give the children Christmas presents, so he can't be as ill-tempered as he seems."

"Yeah, that was a shock," Tonks said, running a hand through her spiky hair. "Just textbooks, but still...who would've thought Severus Snape would have even the tiniest bit of Christmas spirit?"

"And Albus says he saved Sirius's life, after the attack at the Ministry," Mrs. Weasley added, "though he's a bit vague about how that happened."

"Snape saved Black?" Shacklebolt exclaimed.

Sirius just happened to be coming down the stairs at that moment and scowled. "Yeah, fine, let's give him a medal or something and get it over with!" he said in a disgruntled tone.

They filed into the meeting room, with Mrs. Weasley scolding Sirius, Tonks asking how Snape had saved him, Sirius complaining that he didn't want to talk about it, and Shacklebolt shaking his head and muttering something about hell freezing over.

***

Snape crossed his arms and glared at Lupin. "What do you think you're doing?"

Lupin stared back at him innocently. "All I did was say hello. And by the way, I'm glad to see you, too, Severus."

"That's the problem--you look too glad to see me!"

"Aren't you glad to see me, Severus?" Lupin asked, his blue eyes wide and sad.

Snape thought Lupin was making fun of him, but he wasn't entirely sure, so he replied, "Of course I am, but I'm not going to say so in front of the other members."

"I thought we had agreed, that we needn't hide from the Order--"

"No, you and Blackmore agreed! I didn't have any say in it!"

Now Lupin looked genuinely sad. "Why are you so ashamed of us, Severus?"

"I'm not ashamed!" he snapped. "I'm trying to protect you!"

"Do you really think our fellow Order members will tell the Death Eaters that we're lovers?"

"No, but our ranks have grown...it's not wise to trust that many people with a secret, Lupin. A secret shared has a way of spreading...and quite frankly, I don't really trust all of our members. Especially Mundungus Fletcher; I wouldn't trust him not to steal anything that's not nailed down, and I certainly wouldn't trust him with secrets about our love life!"

"Fine, not everyone, but the core members...the ones who spend a lot of time in this house. Kingsley, Tonks, Moody, Molly and Arthur..."

"What would you like to do, Lupin," Snape asked sarcastically, "make an announcement at dinner?"

"That would be nice," Lupin laughed, his eyes gleaming with mischief.

Snape gave him an exasperated look. "Why is this so important to you?"

"Because," he said, looking serious now, "I'm tired of hiding and sneaking around. It's not like I'm saying we should stroll through Hogsmeade holding hands, Severus, but in the comfort of my own home, I'd like to be able to smile at you. I'd like to be able to kiss you on the cheek without looking around to see if anyone's watching. I'd like you to spend nights over more often. I'd like to be able to go upstairs and make love to you without concocting some excuse about working on a secret project for Dumbledore. Hell, I'd just like to be able to have a pleasant conversation at dinner with you, without you insulting me so that no one will suspect we're lovers!"

Snape looked a little stunned at his lover's outburst. Lupin smiled at him, then said softly, "And most of all, I'd like to know that you're not ashamed of me."

"I'm not--"

"I know you're very concerned about my safety, Severus, but I also know that's not the only reason you've been hiding our relationship," Lupin said implacably.

"I...I...I'm not..." Snape faltered, not exactly sure how to explain it to Lupin, because he wasn't sure he understood it himself.

Lupin's expression softened, and he reached out to caress Snape's cheek. "I know I'm giving you a hard time, Severus. I'm not sure why it bothers me so much." He sighed. "Maybe because I spent so many years hiding my lycanthropy and being ashamed of who I was..."

"I'm not ashamed of you, Lupin!" Snape insisted, putting his arms around Lupin's waist and drawing him close, feeling guilty that he'd caused his lover such pain. Then he remembered that Lupin preferred to be called by his first name, and felt guilty about that, too. "I never meant to make you feel that way, Remus. I'm not ashamed that you're male, or that you're a werewolf, if that's what you're worried about."

"Or that I'm a Gryffindor?" Lupin laughed.

"Well, that would be quite a scandal," Snape agreed, pleased that Lupin was able to joke about it. "But that's not it, either. You're everything a Gryffindor is supposed to be--brave and noble and handsome--"

"I don't recall hearing 'handsome' in the Sorting Hat's song," Lupin said, but he flushed with pleasure.

"--but without the usual Gryffindor arrogance," Snape added, unable to resist that little dig at his rival House. "Anyone would be pleased to have you for a lover."

"Well, perhaps not everyone--"

"Well, they should be!" Snape said indignantly, and Lupin laughed again. "If anything, people would wonder what you see in me--ill-tempered, arrogant, sneaky, greasy-haired, big-nosed Slytherin that I am."

"I love your nose, Severus," Lupin said, kissing the tip of it.

"I know you do, Lu--Remus," Snape smiled. "It's not you, it's me." Snape sighed, his smile fading. "It's hard to explain...I'm...scared, I suppose," he admitted in a low voice.

"Of what, Severus?" Lupin asked gently.

"I don't know," he said helplessly. "You have to understand, Remus, my father always taught me that sentiment is for fools--and in Slytherin, people would use your feelings as a weapon against you if they could. Look at how Lucius used Evan's love for Ariane to manipulate him. And the Dark Lord probably used Gwydion's love for his brother to lure him into the Death Eaters. Not that Gwydion Donner isn't an evil, self-centered bastard, but he does love his brother. People who wear their hearts on their sleeves betray their weaknesses, Lupin," Snape said, unconsciously repeating what he had said to Potter during their first Occlumency lesson. "The Dark Lord used Potter's love for Black to lure him into that trap..."

"I see," Lupin murmured. "You're afraid of exposing your weaknesses. But love isn't always a weakness, Severus. It's a strength as well. Love saved Dylan Rosier."

Snape stared at Lupin disbelievingly. "Are you out of your mind, Lupin? The Dark Lord used Dylan's love for his mother to force him to join the Death Eaters!"

"He took the Mark, yes, but it was that same love that prevented him from handing over his soul to Voldemort as well. And it was your love, Severus, that made him question his idealized view of the Death Eaters, that made him trust you enough to come to you and tell you what had happened."

Snape turned red, feeling extremely uncomfortable; he had grudgingly admitted to himself that he cared about Dylan, but had never used the word "love" to describe his feelings for the boy. That didn't seem to stop Dumbledore and Lupin from doing so, though.

Lupin grinned, as if reading his mind. Snape sourly thought to himself that Occlumency was no defense against a particularly perceptive and sometimes annoying werewolf lover. "And there is of course Lily's love for Harry," Lupin said softly. "Her love saved Harry's life and gave him the means to defeat Voldemort when he was only a baby. You can't get any stronger than that."

"I suppose not," Snape muttered. "All right," he sighed, giving in. "No more sneaking around, no more insulting you at the dinner table--but only among the people we trust."

"Thank you, Severus," Lupin said, smiling at him tenderly. "I know it's difficult for you, but it means a lot to me."

"But we don't have to advertise it, either, do we?" Snape asked plaintively.

"No announcements at the dinner table," Lupin agreed, then added slyly, "and no making out in front of the children!"

"Pity you didn't think of that before you kissed me right in front of Potter!" grumbled Snape.

Lupin laughed and nuzzled Snape's cheek affectionately. "I love you, Severus."

"I love you, Remus," Snape said, still sounding a bit grumpy, but he pulled Lupin closer and kissed him, lightly at first, then more deeply. He was aware that they would be late for the meeting, but it was all Lupin's fault, really it was, for pressing his body against Snape's, for entwining his hands firmly in Snape's hair, for having such delectably soft lips that parted so eagerly for Snape's tongue...

Just then the door swung open, and they heard Tonks's cheerful voice saying, "Remus, Severus? Are you in here, the meeting's about to--OH!"

Snape jumped away from Lupin, yelling, "OUCH!" when Lupin didn't untangle his hands from Snape's hair fast enough. He rubbed his head, expecting to find a bare and bloody patch of scalp, but his hair was still fastened to his head--mostly, anyway; a blushing Lupin was still holding onto a few black strands.

The young witch's eyes were as wide as saucers and her mouth was hanging open. "I...uh...didn't mean to interrupt," she said weakly, staring at the two wizards who were both turning a deep shade of crimson, although Snape looked mortified, while Lupin looked almost amused. "It's just that, um, the meeting is starting and Molly sent me to look for you two..." She quickly turned and fled back in the direction of the meeting room.

"Well, looks like there's no need to announce it at dinner," Lupin said cheerfully.

Snape glared at him. "Come on, we have to catch up with her before she tells everyone at the meeting!"

"I doubt she'll say a word while you've got that 'if looks could kill' expression in your eyes," Lupin said, as he ran after his lover.

"That's the general idea, Lupin," Snape said in a huffy tone as he rushed to catch up with Tonks.

Lupin just laughed, allowing himself to fall a step or two behind to admire the way Snape's robe billowed out dramatically behind him as he ran. {Sneaky Slytherin or not, you can't deny that the man's got style!} he thought delightedly.

***

Tonks, Snape, and Lupin hurried into the meeting room and took seats at the long table, where everyone else was already assembled. Tonks dropped into a chair next to Sirius, while Lupin and Snape found seats on the other side of the table.

"What took so long?" Sirius asked, frowning.

Tonks opened her mouth, then caught Snape giving her a murderous look from across the table. "N-nothing," she muttered, her cheeks turning pink. Her cousin gave her a suspicious look, but she didn't notice, as she was too busy wondering if she had really seen Severus Snape kissing one of his worst enemies. Could she have hallucinated the whole thing? That didn't really make sense either, but it seemed less far-fetched than the idea that Snape might be having a fling with Lupin. {Maybe it's food poisoning,} she thought. {I knew I shouldn't have had the fish for lunch...it didn't look that fresh. But if the fish had gone bad, shouldn't I have a stomachache...?}

"Will you stop that, Tonks!" Molly Weasley was saying. "It's very distracting!"

"Huh?" the young witch asked, then realized that she had been unconsciously shifting the appearance of her hair and face at random. "Oh, sorry," she said, concentrating and returning her features to normal. "I...uh...think I had some bad fish for lunch."

Molly's expression changed from annoyance to concern. "Are you feeling all right, dear? Perhaps Severus could brew you a tonic--"

"NO!" shouted Tonks, certain that anything Snape gave her would be a deadly poison. As Molly stared at her in shock, she added, "Um...I mean, that's not necessary. I'm fine, really!"

"Well, if you say so, dear..." Molly said dubiously.

Snape was still glowering at Tonks, but Lupin gave her a wink, which made her think that perhaps she really HAD seen what she thought she saw, and it wasn't the fish after all...

Meanwhile, Dumbledore was calling the meeting to order. He discussed recent events, including the attempted theft of the prophecy in the Department of Mysteries. "...Now that the Ministry has finally acknowledged the return of Voldemort--" Several of the assembled witches and wizards squirmed or muttered uneasily. "--our job will be easier. But we must still remain vigilant, and I think it best if the Order continues as a secret society. Not all the Death Eaters were captured, and we do not want to alert our enemy to our plans." Everyone murmured in agreement. "Now allow me to introduce the newest member of our group, Goewin Donner."

Goewin stood, nodding in greeting to her fellow Order members. "My husband was a member of the Order during the first war," she said, "and we will both do whatever we can to aid you. But I fear I have some disturbing and shameful news to share with you today. We have discovered that my nephew, Gwydion Donner, and perhaps his brother Gilbert as well, have become Death Eaters."

Exclamations of surprise rose from the group of wizards. "I always thought he was a smarmy bastard," Moody muttered. "Er--no offense, Goewin."

"None taken. I quite agree, Alastor."

"But I never thought he'd go over to the other side!" Moody continued. "Not after that whole fuss, where he sided with his mother against his sister, when Deirdre disowned Ariane for taking up with a Death Eater."

Others voiced their skepticism more vocally. Gwydion could be quite charming, when he chose to exert himself, and he was popular amongst most of the wizarding community.

"Severus saw him at one of the Death Eaters' meetings, " Goewin said, raising her voice to be heard over the uproar.

All eyes turned to Snape. "Are you sure it was him?" one of Gwydion's supporters demanded. "What could possibly motivate him to go over to You-Know-Who?"

"Yes, I'm sure," Snape said coldly. "As for motivation, do you not recall that the Dark Lord has ordered me to brew a large quantity of Mind Restoration Potion?" The room fell silent. "Everyone knows that Gilbert Donner's mind was damaged in an...ah...unfortunate accident. And everyone knows how devoted Gwydion is to his twin. No doubt that was the bribe the Dark Lord used to lure him--a very effective one, since the effects of the potion are only temporary. He will have to keep coming to the Dark Lord for more. None of the Donners are capable of brewing such a potion, and not even they have enough wealth to purchase a steady supply of it, even if they could find someone willing and able to make it."

"But what does he want Gwydion for?" Shacklebolt wondered out loud.

Snape shrugged. "I don't know yet. Perhaps to be a spy; he would certainly be effective since most people seem to be unwilling to believe he could be a Death Eater," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm and venom.

"He could do a lot of damage," agreed Tonks. "Isn't there some way we could arrest him?"

"I cannot testify against him without exposing my cover," Snape pointed out. "And even if I could, I only saw his eyes, since all the Death Eaters are masked. I doubt that would hold up in court, against a member of such a prominent family."

"We will just have to keep a close eye on him for now," Dumbledore said. "Goewin and Mathias will try to keep tabs on him, and Severus will watch from his end as well."

"I never liked Donner," Moody muttered. "But I would have expected his sister's son to be the one to go over..."

Snape glared at Moody, then exchanged glances with Goewin and the Headmaster. They had argued, over whether to reveal Dylan's new status to the entire Order. Snape and Goewin had been against it, for fear of the secret leaking out, but Dumbledore insisted the Order needed to be on the alert, in case Voldemort tried to recruit other children.

"Dylan Rosier was recruited into the Death Eaters recently, but against his will," Dumbledore said quietly.

"Against his will?" Moody asked dubiously.

"Yes, against his will!" Snape snapped. "The Dark Lord threatened to kill his mother if he did not join!"

"Ariane Donner was all but a Death Eater herself," Moody said with a scowl. He had never liked Snape, and he still held a grudge against Evan Rosier, who was responsible for several of his scars and the missing chunk of his nose.

"Ariane remembered how Evan died," Snape said coldly. "And she feared her son might suffer the same fate; she was trying to keep him away from Lucius Malfoy and the Death Eaters. The Dark Lord was not pleased, and decided to recruit Dylan and punish Ariane at the same time."

"I believe Severus, Alastor," Branwen said quietly, and Dumbledore said, "I do as well."

Moody was still scowling, but did not argue further. "It seems odd," he said, "that both Gwydion and the Rosier boy would be recruited around the same time, considering the animosity between Gwydion and his sister."

"Neither Gwydion nor Dylan is yet aware of the other's presence in the Death Eaters," Snape said. "They have never both been present at the same meeting. I think perhaps taking Gwydion was a form of insurance; if Dylan betrays him, then the Dark Lord will use Gwydion to destroy Ariane and her son."

Moody grunted, agreeing with Snape for once. "Twisted bastard, but that would be just like him. Gwydion's an odd choice for a Death Eater, but then nobody expected him to turn Barty Crouch, Junior all those years ago, either." His face filled with rage for a moment, as he remembered how Crouch Junior had kept him imprisoned in a trunk for the better part of a year. Then suddenly, he laughed harshly. "I'd love to see Donner's face, when he realizes that his nephew is one of his fellow Death Eaters!"

Snape glared at Moody; he didn't find the situation nearly so amusing, since he had a personal interest in it. He opened his mouth, but Dumbledore interrupted him before he could speak.

"This is not a laughing matter, Alastor," the Headmaster said sternly. "A child's life is at stake." Moody looked a little embarrassed, but could not bring himself to summon up much sympathy for Evan Rosier's son. Dumbledore continued, "Severus will of course do his best to protect Dylan, but what disturbs me is that Voldemort has recruited so young a child. In the past, of course, he has singled out and recruited likely candidates among the students." This time it was Snape's turn to look embarrassed. "But never before has an underage wizard been made a full-fledged Death Eater. All the others were at least eighteen when they took the Dark Mark."

"It's partly a matter of practicality," Snape said, still looking discomposed. "Few students below their seventh year are able to Apparate. If they can't Apparate, they can't answer the Dark Lord's summons, at least, not without help."

"So the question is," Lupin said quietly, "why has the Dark Lord recruited a child? Is there something special about Dylan, or is this the beginning of a new trend?"

"The children!" exclaimed Mrs. Weasley, looking horrified. "Are they in danger? We've got to do something to protect them!"

"I doubt the Dark Lord will be recruiting among the Gryffindors," Snape said acerbically, then winced as Lupin kicked him hard under the table. He glared at Lupin, who glared right back at him, then continued, "It is the students of my own House who are most at risk."

He was about to add, "Not that anyone cares about them," but Mrs. Weasley said quietly, "I meant that we should protect all the students at Hogwarts, Severus."

"Oh," Snape said, feeling slightly ashamed of himself. "Well, of course we will be watching the students carefully, particularly the Slytherins, and the protections on the school have been increased--"

"I'm not sure that's enough," Mrs. Weasley said with a worried frown. "Perhaps their trips to Hogsmeade should be curtailed?"

Snape was sure her brats would complain loudly about that, but it wasn't really his problem. "Perhaps," he agreed. "Or at least supervised."

"I'll take it under advisement," Dumbledore said. "Have you seen any signs of recruitment, however subtle, amongst your students, Severus?"

"Other than Dylan, no," Snape replied. "Some of their parents have filled their heads with glorious promises of a future where the Dark Lord and his followers reign supreme, and those children are probably quite eager to join, but so far I have seen no sign that the Dark Lord wishes to recruit them yet."

"Then it must be something special about Dylan," Branwen said, her forehead furrowed in thought.

"Dylan is a very talented student," Snape said, "but I don't see anything about him exceptional enough for the Dark Lord to want him so young. Maybe he only took Dylan because he feared Ariane would join our side if he waited too long."

"Maybe," Branwen murmured, but didn't look convinced.

"The boy is the last living Rosier, isn't he?" Shacklebolt asked thoughtfully. "Could he lay claim to the Rosier estate?"

Snape frowned. "I thought the courts confiscated the Rosier fortune and lands." Evan Rosier's parents had not been actual Death Eaters, but they had supported the Dark Lord's ideals, and secretly funneled money to him through their son. And when their only child had been killed by Aurors, the Rosiers, mad with grief, had attacked a group of Aurors in revenge, and been killed as well. Since they had been deemed criminals, and the last living heir was still in Ariane's womb and unable to assert his rights, the Rosier estate had been declared forfeit and confiscated by the Ministry of Magic.

"The money they had in Gringotts was confiscated, as was most of their property," said Dumbledore. "But the family house, and the land on which it stands, was so heavily warded with protective spells that no one was able to enter it. It stands to this day, empty and fallen into disrepair."

"Perhaps You-Know-Who wants more wealth to fund his projects?" Tonks suggested.

Snape frowned. "He's not short of funds that I know of, and the bulk of the Rosier fortune would have been stored in the Gringotts vaults, anyway."

"The Rosiers were practitioners of the Dark Arts," Shacklebolt said. "Could they have some sort of Dark Magic items or spellbooks that the Dark Lord might want?"

"Not that I know of," Snape replied. "While I'm sure they did possess such things, I doubt they had anything powerful enough to turn the tide of the war, or surely Evan would have handed it over to the Dark Lord while he was still alive."

"His parents didn't want to get openly involved until their son died," Moody reminded him in a low, growling voice. "Perhaps they did have some kind of weapon that they wouldn't share or that your friend Rosier didn't know about."

Snape glared at Moody. "Then they would have used it on you, if they had such a thing, after you killed their son! Besides, the Malfoys are much more wealthy and powerful than the Rosiers ever were. If Lucius doesn't possess such a weapon, it's highly unlikely that the Rosiers would have, either."

"It was rumored that the ancestors of the Rosiers were demon-worshippers," Dedalus Diggle said in an excited voice. "Maybe--"

Branwen rolled her eyes and said, "People said the same thing about my ancestors as well!"

"Yes, but in your case, the rumors were true!" Sirius laughed.

The other Order members stared at Branwen uneasily; except for the Headmaster and her three former students, the knowledge that she had demon blood made them extremely nervous. "I would have heard, I'm sure, if there were any demons bound in service to the Rosiers," Branwen said impatiently. "And even if they were demon-worshippers, Dylan Rosier has no idea how to summon a demon! Besides, I'm sure Voldemort knows how to perform the rituals to summon a demon already; he just isn't foolish enough to play a game that he knows I can best him at." Her green eyes looked more strange and otherworldly than usual, and were filled with the unconscious arrogance of someone secure enough in her power to fear almost nothing. "Especially now that he knows I'm still alive. If he didn't already know, he must have suspected that I had the ability to summon demons after the bodies of three of his best mages were found ripped to pieces after they tried to kill me."

Diggle was looking a little green around the gills, while Mrs. Weasley was staring at Branwen--who had helped her cook in the kitchen and look after her children--with something like horror. Tonks was staring at the dark-haired sorceress as well, but with fascination; she had heard only the bare bones version of Branwen's disappearance and return, and would have liked to have heard the full story. To her disappointment, Snape cleared his throat and changed the subject.

"It seems unlikely, then, that the Dark Lord wants Dylan Rosier for the purpose of demon summoning," he said in a sarcastic voice. "And as no one has any better guesses, we shall just have to wait for the Dark Lord to reveal his motives."

Nobody was really happy about that, but there was nothing they could do about it. It was agreed that a close eye would be kept on Gwydion Donner and Dylan Rosier. There was no other new business, other than a warning from Snape that the Dark Lord would probably try to break his captive Death Eaters out of Azkaban, but he had no idea when or how. Again, there was nothing they could do but be on their guard.

"I'm sure the Ministry is already aware of the danger," Shacklebolt sighed. "But I'll try to pass along the warning. Perhaps this time they'll be less complacent, now that they're finally aware of the truth."

"Miracles can always happen, I suppose," Snape muttered sardonically.

Part 3