FIC: Phoenix Rising, Part 6 of 37

[geri_chan]

Title: Phoenix Rising, Part 6 of 37
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Snape/Lupin
Word count: ~9,440
Warning: AU; my own version of Year 6 (was written pre-HBP).
Author's notes: {} Indicates character's unspoken thoughts
Disclaimer: No money is being made off this story; consider it a little wish fulfillment on my part.
Sequel to: Always (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6), Summer Vacation (Part 1, Part 2), For Old Time's Sake (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5), Three's a Crowd (or, Summer Vacation II) (Part 1, Part 2), Return of the Raven (Part 1, Part 2), Phoenix Reborn (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8)
Summary: Lupin has a confrontation with Snape after he returns from a Death Eaters' summons.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

***

Harry felt Snape start to break through his defenses, and gritted his teeth. He was not going to fail again, was NOT going to give Snape more excuses to taunt him with those sneering, sarcastic remarks...he wondered if Snape was deliberately being unhelpful, with those vague instructions to "push me out of your mind," with no explanation of how to go about it. {All right, if he says to push, then I'll push!} Harry thought, and imagined himself shoving Snape away from him as hard as he could. Unconsciously, he thrust his hands forward at the same time he pushed with his mind, and suddenly he was flooded with Snape's memories: Professor Lupin sitting at the head table on the first day of Harry's third school year, looking tired and ill, his gray-streaked hair falling across his face...a teenaged Lucius Malfoy speaking persuasively to a young Snape and a boy who looked much like Dylan Rosier, except that his hair was shorter and curlier...a young Lupin and Snape throwing snowballs at each other...adult Snape scratching a large brown wolf behind its ears as it wagged its tail happily...a young Lupin fainting as Snape rushed forward to catch him...

Snape screamed, and Harry caught sight of one last, blurred memory--a crowd of people clad in black robes and masks--before the images abruptly vanished and Snape was gone from his mind. So abruptly, in fact, that Harry staggered back a step, lost his balance, and landed hard on his backside. He nervously looked up, expecting to see Snape as furious as he had been the night Harry had looked into the Pensieve. But Snape was not even looking at him; he was lying back against the couch clutching his left forearm, and Harry realized that the scream had been one of pain, not anger--or at least, not solely anger.

"Professor?" Harry asked hesitantly. "Are you all right?"

"Do I look all right, you idiot boy?" Snape snarled.

Harry scrambled to his feet and headed for the door. "Should I get Professor Lupin?"

"NO!" Snape shouted, and Harry froze in place. "I'm all right," he said through gritted teeth as he let go of his arm. "But our lesson is over for today. Get out of here, Potter."

"Are...are you being summoned?" Harry asked. "By Vol--by the Dark Lord?" He knew he was pushing his luck, but he was frightened, and despite the fact that he hated Snape, a little worried about his teacher, because Harry had never heard him scream like that before.

"I have already told you, such things are not your concern, Potter!" Snape yelled. "Get out of here! Now!"

Harry fled the room, but despite what Snape had told him, he went to look for Professor Lupin. Professor Blackmore had left the house on an errand, and Harry didn't think that he should bring his concerns about Snape to Sirius, since he was still irritated about the Occlumency lessons. He ran upstairs and knocked on Lupin's door; to his relief, Lupin called out, "Come in."

Lupin was sitting at his desk, several books spread out in front of him, as he scribbled something on a roll of parchment. He looked up, smiled, and said, "Hello, Harry." He saw Harry's curious look and added, "I was just working on my lesson plans, but they can wait. What can I do for you?"

"It's Professor Snape," Harry said uneasily. "He was giving me my lesson, and all of a sudden he screamed and grabbed his arm--like this." Harry clutched his forearm in the same place Snape had. "He said he was all right, but..."

Lupin jumped up and ran out of the room. Harry followed behind, saying nervously, "He'll probably be mad that I told you--"

"I'll deal with Severus," Lupin said in a curt voice that was very unlike him; he looked tense and worried. They reached the drawing room, and Lupin walked in without knocking. "Severus?" Lupin called, but the room was empty.

"Was he summoned by Voldemort?" Harry asked.

"Probably," Lupin replied, looking more concerned than ever. "He must have Apparated over right after you left." He muttered under his breath, "Damn it, Severus, you could have said something, or at least left me a message." Lupin gave Harry a strained smile and said, "Don't worry, he'll be all right," sounding more like he was trying to convince himself than he was Harry.

"What's going on?" Sirius asked, poking his head through the open doorway.

"Severus is gone," Lupin said, looking a little pale. "Summoned. Voldemort must be calling a meeting."

"Well, that's good, right?" Sirius said in a hearty voice that sounded as false as Lupin's attempt at nonchalance. "I mean, he might be able to get some important information..."

"How can you be so casual about it?" Lupin shouted, and Harry jumped a little; Lupin almost never lost his temper, no matter how much he was provoked. "Don't you care that Severus is risking his life every time he answers one of these summons? Do you hate him so much that you don't care if he dies, as long as he brings back your precious information?!"

"Hey, take it easy, Moony!" Sirius said, looking a little hurt. "I don't like Snape, but I don't want him to die, either. You looked worried, so I was just trying to be reassuring. And Snape's tough; he can take care of himself."

"He's not as tough as you think, Sirius," Lupin said softly. "You don't know what it costs him, to keep up this masquerade."

"I'm sorry, Moony," Sirius said, looking uncomfortable. "I just--"

"No, I'm sorry, Sirius," Lupin interrupted. "I know you didn't mean it that way; I'm just on edge. Every time Severus answers Voldemort's call, I'm so scared that it will be a trap, that Voldemort will have discovered Severus is a traitor--" He broke off, as if suddenly remembering that Harry was still in the room. "I'm sorry, Harry," he whispered, trying to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. "I worry too much; I'm sure Severus will be fine."

"Yes, he will," Sirius said gently, putting an arm around Lupin. "Snape is a sly one, and he's got his Occlumency to protect him. He won't let old Voldie get the drop on him."

Lupin managed a small laugh. "I'd like to see you call the Dark Lord 'Old Voldie' to his face!"

"Next time I see him, I will," Sirius said with a grin. "And don't worry about Snape, I'm sure he'll be back in time for supper!"

Lupin seemed comforted a little by Sirius's attempts to reassure him, even though he was clearly still worried about Snape, and Harry felt proud of his godfather for setting aside his dislike of Snape in order to help his friend. Perhaps Sirius had finally taken Professor Blackmore's lecture (and stinging slap) to heart, Harry thought, recalling the way she had chewed out both Snape and Sirius for the way their "stupid, petty quarrels" were hurting Lupin, the day Snape had saved Sirius's life.

Lupin left the room, and Sirius followed, having no reason to think that Harry might be worried about Snape as well. Harry lingered behind in the drawing room, glad enough to be left alone; he was still confused and disturbed by the memories he had seen. Nearly all the memories had centered around Lupin, showing a side to Snape that Harry had never seen before, and found disconcerting. He could never in his wildest dreams have pictured Snape laughing and playing in the snow as a boy, or petting what was clearly Lupin in his wolf form. And there was also the memory of young Snape catching Lupin as he collapsed--Snape had looked frightened and concerned, much as he had during that scene in the Pensieve when he had found Lupin in the Shrieking Shack. Harry had asked Sirius what Lupin saw in Snape, and now he was beginning to understand, just a little, what that might be... But Harry had hated Snape for so long, that he was finding it hard to let go of that hatred; he didn't want to like Snape, or even feel sorry for him. He sighed, finding it easier now to sympathize with his godfather's persistent refusal to let of of his long-held enmity for Snape.

Almost as disturbing were those other two memories that did not feature Lupin: the blurred scene of the Death Eaters, and a glimpse of what was probably Dylan Rosier's father. The Rosier-in-the-past had looked like a normal boy, not like someone who would later turn out to be a Death Eater. And what had the young Lucius Malfoy been talking to them about? Had he been trying to persuade Snape and Rosier to join the Death Eaters...?

Professor Blackmore appeared just before dinner, carrying a stack of books--apparently her errand had been to gather some textbooks for the coming school year--and a large box of pastries for dessert. Snape had still not returned, and after being told what had happened, she tried to reassure Lupin--sort of.

"I won't say 'everything's going to be all right' when none of us can guarantee that," Blackmore said quietly. "But Severus knows the risks. He is one of the most talented mages I know, and is as well-prepared for trouble as anyone can be, under the circumstances."

"What if that's not enough?" Lupin protested.

"We are all putting our lives at risk, Remus," Blackmore pointed out. "You could have been killed when we went to rescue Harry and the others; do you think it was easy for Severus to stay behind at Hogwarts and wait for us?"

"No," mumbled Lupin. "But I still hate this."

"Severus told me that Voldemort may not completely trust him, but that Voldemort won't kill him as long as he thinks Severus may be of some use to him. And I think he's right; as long as Voldemort isn't able to place another agent in Hogwarts, I think Severus will be safe. And not to be vain, but I think Voldemort will especially want a spy in the school now that I have returned."

"I suppose you're right, Branwen," Lupin said reluctantly.

"Besides, Voldemort hunts down traitors ruthlessly. I think remaining with the Death Eaters is probably the lesser of two evils. If Severus openly broke with the Death Eaters, he would probably be killed if he went anywhere other than the school or this house. And even the school might not be completely safe--he is the Head of Slytherin, and some of his students are the children of Death Eaters..."

"You think Voldemort might use a child as an assassin?" Lupin asked, horrified. Harry shuddered; he could easily picture Draco Malfoy in such a role--the Slytherin boy had gloated over Cedric's death after all. But still, how could a student, even one as nasty as Draco, possibly be a match for an experienced wizard like Snape?

"Only as a desperate measure, but if there were no other choice, I would put nothing past him," Blackmore replied.

"Branwen, you're supposed to be cheering Moony up, not making him feel worse!" Sirius scolded.

"Sorry," she said with an apologetic smile. "Let's go eat dinner, and hope Severus will turn up in time for dessert." She held up the cardboard box enticingly. "It would take more than a pack of Death Eaters to stand between Severus and a box of sweets!"

Lupin laughed weakly, but only picked at his dinner that night, and everyone else was subdued as well.

***

Stunned by the unexpected strength of Potter's attack, for a moment Snape was helplessly swept away in the tide of memories...damn it, he hadn't removed enough of them! But there was a limit to how much the Pensieve could hold, and a limit to how many thoughts a person could safely remove from his head. Snape had been with Lupin through numerous transformations, and it was impossible to remove every memory of himself scratching the wolf behind the ears. It was also impossible to remove all his childhood memories of Lupin, because he had thought about Lupin obsessively for almost every waking moment since the end of their second year. So when he felt the Mark burning on his arm, at first he thought it was another memory, thought he was a young Death Eater being branded for the first time, and he screamed...

Then he realized that the pain was real, and in any case, his memory of the branding was in the Pensieve. He must have looked bad, because Potter actually seemed worried as he asked, "Professor? Are you all right?"

"Do I look all right, you idiot boy?" Snape said sarcastically.

"Should I get Professor Lupin?"

"NO!" Snape shouted; he didn't want Lupin worrying about him. "I'm all right," he said through gritted teeth, forcing himself to let go of his arm despite the pain. "But our lesson is over for today. Get out of here, Potter."

"Are...are you being summoned?" Harry asked. "By Vol--by the Dark Lord?"

"I have already told you, such things are not your concern, Potter!" Snape yelled; the stupid boy did not know when to leave well enough alone. That sense of curiosity would get him killed one day, if he wasn't careful. "Get out of here! Now!"

The boy fled, and Snape took a deep breath to try and calm himself; it would be dangerous to face Voldemort in an agitated state. This was probably a routine summoning; he had sent the Dark Lord a message regarding Dumbledore's reinstatement of Lupin and Branwen at Hogwarts. In order to keep his status as a double agent, he had to feed the Death Eaters enough information to make Voldemort think he was worth keeping alive, and so Dumbledore had permitted Snape to feed the news to Voldemort before it was made public. Probably the Dark Lord wanted to discuss the information he had received. At least, he hoped that was all it was...

"Master," he said, bowing low to Voldemort before taking his place among the other Death Eaters who were also arriving. There were several gaps in the circle they formed.

"Severus," Voldemort said coolly. That was a bad sign, but then the Dark Lord had been in a foul mood ever since the botched attempt to steal the prophecy. When everyone was assembled, Voldemort shared the information Snape had sent him about Lupin and Blackmore. There were a few murmurs of surprise or distaste, but no one was eager to offer unsolicited comments, particularly when the Dark Lord was in a bad mood. "I am not surprised to learn that Dumbledore is reinstating his pet werewolf," Voldemort said, "but Branwen Blackmore...it was quite a shock to see her alive and well at the Ministry!" He sounded annoyed, but also intrigued. "Have you learned where she has been these past many years?"

"She and the Headmaster gave me only very vague explanations," Snape lied. "They said she was in hiding, for her own safety."

Voldemort looked pleased for a moment, then frowned. "She was a bold wench; not the sort to cower in terror for fourteen years."

"Clearly there was more to it than that, my Lord," Snape agreed respectfully. "I have seen her face-to-face, and she looks no older than she did when she was a teacher at Hogwarts. I don't think it's a glamor, and she was never really the vain type anyway. She was badly wounded in the battle with our fallen comrades, and she says the 'ally' she summoned took her back to his own realm for healing."

"What sort of ally?" Voldemort asked sharply.

"She refused to be more specific, my Lord," Snape answered. "But she was skilled at summoning elementals and their like. Which would account for her youthful appearance; time flows at a different rate in the spirit realm."

"I don't think it was an elemental that tore my three Death Eaters into pieces. Literally." Voldemort's eyes glowed red with anger.

Snape bowed low again, hoping a show of humility would stave off the Dark Lord's anger. "The Blackmores have always been rumored to dabble in the Dark Arts," he said. "She could have summoned some sort of Dark creature, possibly even a demon. But I don't know how she could possibly have survived fourteen years in the Demon Realm with both her life and sanity intact. Or how she managed to escape, if that's where she was."

"You don't know much, do you, Snape?" a nearby Death Eater said in a taunting voice just barely above a whisper. It was Wormtail, alias Peter Pettigrew; it seemed that his childhood animosity towards Snape remained even though they were now supposedly serving the same master.

Voldemort's hearing, however, was excellent. "When I want your opinion, Wormtail," he said, "I will ask for it. Crucio!" But the Dark Lord seemed only slightly annoyed, breaking off the spell after only a couple of minutes, and Wormtail's screams died down into pathetic whimpers. "Oh, stop blubbering, you little coward," Voldemort said, looking down at him in disgust. "Before I really give you something to cry about!" Wormtail immediately fell silent. "However, he does have a point, Severus," Voldemort continued. "You have brought me only one piece of real information; the rest is pure speculation."

Snape sank to his knees and bowed his head. "I am sorry, Master. I will do better in the future." But he knew apologies and excuses meant little to the Dark Lord, and braced himself for a Cruciatus Curse.

"I am sure you will, Severus," Voldemort said with a merciless smile. "But let me give you a little added incentive."

Voldemort flicked his wand, and Snape cried out in both pain and surprise. It was not a Cruciatus Curse, but a much nastier variation of the Stinging Hex Potter had cast on him during his first Occlumency lesson; it seemed the Dark Lord was feeling creative. It was almost--though not quite--as painful as the Crucio spell. He fell forward, his palms hitting the ground to prevent himself falling completely prone, and saw red, blistering welts covering the backs of his hands. He didn't need to check beneath his robes to know that the burning, stinging welts covered most of his body.

"Get up, Severus," Voldemort said, and Snape slowly rose, wincing as his clothes chafed against the welts as he got to his feet. Voldemort smiled, seeming to be in a much better mood now that he had vented his ire upon Wormtail and Snape. "It's a pity that Blackmore joined the wrong side," he said regretfully. "She could have been useful to us." None of the assembled Death Eaters pointed out to their master that killing Blackmore's parents might have turned her against him, since none of them had a death wish. But, as if he had heard, Voldemort added, "It's too bad I had to kill Meredith Blackmore. I don't know how such a softhearted fool was ever accepted into Slytherin."

Across the circle, a pair of gray eyes flickered in surprise. Gwydion Donner had not known that Voldemort was responsible for the late Lord Blackmore's death, but he had only recently joined the ranks of the Death Eaters. But then again, Snape had not known either--at least, not for sure--until Branwen had told him.

"Watch her carefully, Severus," Voldemort warned him. "Of the two, Blackmore is the most dangerous; she killed many of our brethren. If you can find a way to discredit her..."

"The school governors were reluctant to allow Dumbledore to re-hire her. At least half of them think she practices the Dark Arts; I am sure I can play upon their fears...and for the moment, at least while she is at Hogwarts, we can keep an eye on her..."

Voldemort frowned thoughtfully. "That is true. She is less dangerous as a schoolteacher than an Auror, or even worse, a rogue mage running loose on her own. A good point, Severus," he said approvingly, and Snape bowed low to show his gratitude. "We will let Professor Blackmore remain at Hogwarts for now, but do what you can to spread those rumors about her...the less credibility she has with those in authority, the better. And I want you to watch her every move, Severus, and keep me informed."

"Yes, my Lord."

"As for the werewolf..." Voldemort looked less concerned, but a little puzzled. "I wonder why Dumbledore has been so adamant on bringing him back. He called in many favors to have the anti-werewolf legislation set aside in Lupin's case."

Snape forced himself to remain calm and show no fear. "I think partly because he wants to use Lupin as an example, to teach the students about prejudice and tolerance."

"Dumbledore has always been an idealistic fool," Voldemort said contemptuously. "But you said 'partly'...?"

"The other part is sheer sentiment, I believe, my Lord. He has always been fond of Lupin, since he was one of Potter's friends, and I think he feels sorry for him. Lupin has...fallen on hard times in recent years."

"What has the werewolf been up to since you got him dismissed?" Voldemort asked curiously.

"Mainly living off the charity of friends, it seems," Snape said indifferently. "And he managed to get the odd translation job here and there." He sneered, "Menial work; nothing a Muggle couldn't do."

Voldemort smirked. "Dumbledore is soft and weak, and that will be his undoing one day. Very well, Severus. Keep an eye on our two new teachers. You have made some insightful observations, and I am mildly pleased, but I expect you to bring more hard information next time."

"Yes, Master," Snape said humbly.

"Does anyone else have news to report?" Voldemort asked, his eyes sliding expectantly over to Gwydion Donner.

"Yes, my Lord," Donner said a little sullenly. "I have obtained a position in the Ministry of Magic, in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, as you requested. My specialty is magical research, so rather than doing the work of an Auror or guard, my job will be to aid in developing spells to take the place of the Dementors--that is, to keep the occupants of Azkaban safely imprisoned."

"Excellent!" Voldemort exclaimed. "You will be in a perfect position to help free your comrades!"

"Er...but my Lord," Donner in a nervous but carefully respectful tone, "won't it look suspicious, if the prisoners escape, right after I begin working on the security arrangements for Azkaban?" Voldemort began to look annoyed again, and Donner hastened to add, "I mean, if I lose my position, you will lose an ear inside the Ministry."

Voldemort seemed mollified. "We can let a suitable interval of time pass," Voldemort conceded, "so that it does not look too suspicious. It won't hurt to let Lucius and the others cool their heels a bit, since they were careless enough to get captured in the first place. And you are a clever boy, Gwydion--I am sure you can find a way to shift the blame to someone else."

"Yes, my Lord," Donner said, a spark of malicious pleasure flaring in his gray eyes.

"You have earned your reward, Gwydion," Voldemort said, beckoning to Wormtail, who handed Donner a wooden chest. Snape could hear the sound of bottles clinking against each other as Donner took the chest, and knew that it must contain the Mind Restoration Potion he had brewed. "It looks as though your brother is in need of it," Voldemort added with a nasty little smile.

Snape looked over at the Death Eater standing next to Gwydion. A pair of gray eyes nearly identical to Gwydion's stared back at him with a dull, uncomprehending look. Voldemort beckoned again, and Wormtail retrieved a smaller chest and handed it to Snape. "You will continue to brew the potion," Voldemort ordered.

"Yes, my Lord," Snape said obediently, although the process was a difficult and time-consuming chore that would make his Order duties--including the Occlumency lessons--more difficult. But one did not turn down the Dark Lord and expect to live. Besides, as long as Voldemort needed the potion, Snape's chances of survival remained good, because none of his fellow Death Eaters were capable of making it.

Voldemort asked if anyone else had information to report and no one did. The Dark Lord berated them for being a pack of useless fools and dispensed a few more curses. Snape was relieved not to be included in the "useless" category, and judging by the look in his eyes, so was Gwydion Donner. Bellatrix Lestrange, who had once been the most slavishly devoted of the Dark Lord's followers, was one of those who was punished, and as she cringed and cowered on the ground, Snape saw fear and just a touch of resentment in her dark, heavily-lidded eyes.

Finally, Voldemort dismissed them, to Snape's relief, because the welts were still aching and smarting--the initial pain might not have been as bad as a Cruciatus Curse, but it lingered longer. He Apparated, returning home--well, he supposed he couldn't really call the Grimmauld Place house "home" since it belonged to Black, but the definition of "home" to Snape had become wherever Lupin was...

***

Snape deposited the chest in his room, and went looking for Lupin. The pain must have affected him more than he thought, because he realized he had forgotten about the welts covering his hands and face when he stumbled into the dining room. But he was quickly reminded when everyone stared at him in horror.

"Severus!" Lupin exclaimed, jumping to his feet. "Are you all right?"

Snape saw the children staring at him openmouthed, and said irritably, "I'm fine, Lupin. It's a minor hex, nothing more." Branwen had also jumped up, and was drawing up a chair for him, which he slowly lowered himself into, wincing with pain.

"It looks like more than a minor hex, Severus," Lupin said in concern. "I--we--were so worried about you--" He reached out with one hand to gently touch Snape's cheek, being careful to avoid the welts.

Snape saw the children's eyes bug out with shock--all save Potter--and without thinking, he slapped Lupin's hand away. Lupin's blue eyes filled with hurt, and then anger, and he turned on his heel and stalked out of the room without another word.

Snape suddenly went cold with fear, and completely forgot about his pain. He jumped up and ran after his lover, shouting, "Lupin! Lupin, wait!" He caught up with Lupin in the hallway and grabbed his arm, forcing him to come to a halt.

Lupin jerked his arm out of Snape's grasp, saying in a bitter voice, "Aren't you afraid that someone might see you touch me, Severus?" And indeed, the children, as well as Branwen, Black, and the elder Weasleys, were watching from the dining room doorway.

Snape flinched; certainly no one was more entitled to be bitter than Lupin, after all the hardships he had endured, but Snape had never heard him use that tone of voice before. "Come on, Lupin!" he protested in a hushed tone. "You know I didn't mean it!" Lupin just stared back at him, with that hurt and angry look still in his eyes. "You never used to mind, when I fought with you at the dinner table at Hogwarts--"

"It's one thing when it's a game we're both playing," Lupin said angrily, "and another entirely when you push me away, in the safety of our home, when I'm concerned about you!"

Snape flushed with guilt, but argued, "You know I'm just trying to protect you--"

"I don't see any Death Eaters around here, do you, Severus?" Lupin shouted.

"Just one," muttered Black.

Snape shouted, "Shut up, Black!" at the exact same moment that Lupin shouted, "Shut up, Sirius!" Then they glared at each other.

"If word leaks out because the children gossip about us--" Snape began, but Lupin cut him off.

"They've known for over a year that you're a member of the Order of the Phoenix," Lupin retorted, "and have not betrayed that secret. Why should this be any different? They've all been victimized by Voldemort, they know what's at stake!"

"What do you want from me, Lupin?" Snape asked in frustration.

Lupin gave him a sad and bitter smile. "Something you aren't ready to give, apparently," he said softly.

Snape felt another surge of fear and guilt. "Lupin--"

Lupin took a deep breath, then said, "I'm too upset to talk about this right now, Severus." He turned away from Snape and continued down the hall.

Snape was consumed with fear; he had never seen his lover lose his temper like this before. He forgot Lupin's promise that he would always love Snape and never leave him. He forgot Lupin's promise that Snape would always be first in his heart. All he knew was that he was terrified that Lupin was walking away for good this time. "REMUS!" he shouted.

Lupin stopped in his tracks, and turned to stare at Snape, apparently in shock at hearing Snape use his first name in front of witnesses. Snape heard Weasley say, "'Remus'?" in an incredulous tone, but he ignored it. His next move was one of sheer desperation, and only his fear of losing Lupin could have made him do it: he ran forward, grabbed Lupin, and kissed him hard on the mouth. He saw Lupin's blue eyes fly wide open, then slowly close as he returned the kiss. Snape knew that he would probably feel mortified later, but right now, all he felt was blissful relief. He pulled Lupin close and held him tightly, and felt Lupin return the embrace, one arm wrapping around Snape's neck, the other firmly twining itself in his hair and pulling his face down to be more thoroughly kissed. Snape heard someone scream, and would have laughed, if his mouth had not been otherwise occupied, because the very high-pitched shriek came not from Miss Granger or Miss Weasley, but from Miss Weasley's brother. He also heard Black mutter, "Get a room, you two," and heard Branwen shush him, but he didn't care, because all that mattered to him right now was Lupin.

Finally Snape broke off the kiss, and Lupin stared at him, his eyes widening again. "Severus Snape," he said breathlessly, "you never cease to amaze me."

"Happy now?" Snape asked, trying for a sarcastic tone, but it came out more relieved.

Lupin smiled. "Very happy, Severus," he said, leaning into Snape's embrace and contentedly resting his head on Snape's shoulder.

"Are you sure, Lupin?" Snape persisted. "There isn't anyone else you'd like to inform? Perhaps you'd like to send out announcements to the Hogwarts' staff?"

"Don't push your luck, Severus," Lupin warned; his voice was stern but there was a glimmer of amusement in his blue eyes.

Despite that amused look, Snape felt ashamed of himself. "I'm sorry, Remus," he said quietly. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I just wasn't thinking..."

"I'm sorry, too, Severus," Lupin said, the amusement leaving his eyes, "for losing my temper."

"Merlin's Beard, Lupin!" Snape exclaimed in disbelief. "You're entitled to lose your temper once in awhile!" He flushed again. "Especially after everything I've done to you," he added quietly. "I'm the one who should be apologizing, not you."

"Then let us forgive each other," Lupin said, and the lovers tenderly embraced, forgetting that they had an audience until they heard Ron Weasley squeal, "Wh...wh...what's going on here?!"

Snape looked up, blushing, and scowled at the children. Potter looked almost as embarrassed as Snape felt, Granger and Ginny Weasley were staring at him in openmouthed shock, and Ron Weasley looked horrified as well as shocked. "If you ever breathe a word of this to anyone, I swear I will kill you!" he snarled.

"Severus!" Molly Weasley cried out reproachfully.

"I will impress upon the children the importance of keeping your relationship secret," Branwen said calmly. "Why don't you go upstairs and let Remus tend your wounds?"

"But I have news," Snape protested weakly, then seeing the look of eager interest in Potter's eyes, added sharply, "for Order members only."

"Can it keep till morning?" Branwen asked. "Is anyone in imminent danger?"

Snape thought it over for a moment; the news about Gwydion Donner's position in the Ministry of Magic was important, but there was no immediate danger, since the planned break-in at Azkaban was being postponed. "It can wait," he said, "but not for long. We should convene a meeting tomorrow; I have very important news to relay."

"Very well," Branwen said. "I will send out the messages. Now go upstairs and get some rest." That last sentence was said in her best no-nonsense professorial tone, and Snape smiled.

"Yes, Professor Blackmore," he said obediently, and followed Lupin to their rooms.

Lupin retrieved a jar of healing salve from Snape's stores. "Take off your clothes," he ordered.

Despite the pain, Snape grinned. "That eager, are you, Lupin? Is it near the full moon?"

"Very funny, Severus," Lupin said, then grinned, a little wickedly. "But if you'd prefer to have Molly or Branwen tend to your wounds..."

"No!" Snape said, and hastily undressed. He sighed and relaxed as Lupin applied the salve to his skin; the pain began to recede, and Lupin's touch was even more soothing than the salve. "I really am sorry, Remus," he apologized again.

"I know," Lupin said. "So am I. Maybe I overreacted; I was on edge ever since Harry told me you were summoned." Snape started to scowl, and Lupin said, " Don't blame Harry! You could have told me you were going, or at least left a message!"

"I'm sorry," Snape mumbled. "I just didn't want you to worry."

"You think you can disappear without a word, and I won't worry?" Lupin asked, his voice starting to rise in pitch and volume. He paused to calm himself. "Sorry. I can't help but worry, but I'll worry less if you keep me informed."

"Yes, Remus," Snape said meekly. "I'm sorry."

Lupin very carefully kissed him on the cheek, and then continued treating Snape's welts. "I was so worried, imagining the worst, and then when you slapped me away, all that tension just burst out at once..."

"I told you, Lupin, you don't have to apologize. Merlin knows that I deserve it, not just for this, but for all the other times I've hurt you--"

"I know you didn't really mean it," Lupin interrupted. "But I was hurt and angry, and I wanted to hurt you in turn...it was an awful feeling; I never want to feel that way again." He hesitated, then said softly, "And...I saw your face. You were scared. Scared of losing me?"

A sudden lump in his throat rendered Snape mute, and he nodded silently.

Lupin gently cradled Snape's face between his hands and said, "I have told you before, Severus, nothing will make me leave you. Nothing will make me stop loving you. No matter what you do, no matter how much you push me away, I will never let you go."

"I don't deserve you," Snape whispered.

Lupin shook his head, with a touch of impatience. "I'm not a saint, Severus. If I rarely lose my temper, it's because I was always afraid of losing control of the wolf. It was only when you accepted the wolf, that I was able to accept it as well. And I am jealous, possessive, and insecure." He growled a little, baring his teeth. "You are my mate, and I want the world to know you are mine." He gently nipped at Snape's throat. "I know that you love me, but I want you to acknowledge that love in public. I know it's too dangerous to really go public, but among the people we trust, I want you to treat me like your lover, not your enemy." He lifted Snape's fingertips to his lips and kissed them. "I want to know that you love me as much as I love you."

Snape threw his arms around Lupin, heedless of the welts and salve covering his body. "I do love you, Remus!" he whispered fiercely. "I have always loved you, I would do anything for you!" They held each other tightly for a long time, then he added with a hint of dry humor, "Even humiliate myself in front of the children for you."

Lupin laughed. "A fate worse than death! Seriously, Severus, I know how hard that was for you, and I appreciate it." He kissed Snape on the cheek again. "Now I know you truly love me."

"Now that I've proved my undying love for you," Snape said in a sour voice that--judging by Lupin's grin--wasn't fooling his lover one bit, "can we call a truce? If I promise not to push you away, will you agree not to molest me in public?"

Lupin giggled. "As I long as I can molest you in private."

"Agreed," said Snape, trying to keep the sour look on his face, but his lips twitched upwards in a smile.

"Now, let's finish treating your wounds," Lupin said, and continued applying the salve.

Despite the pain--which was really not so bad now anyway, since the salve was doing its job--the feel of Lupin's hands caressing his body was starting to have its usual effect on Snape. "You've got salve all over your robes," he observed.

"It's an old robe," Lupin said with a shrug. "It's no big deal."

"Perhaps you should take them off," Snape purred, ignoring Lupin. "So that you don't completely ruin them." Lupin glanced up, a little startled, at that purr. Snape grinned. "Besides, that would put us on a more equal footing; I am in a rather...undignified...position at the moment."

Lupin smiled back at him slyly. "So it would make you more comfortable if I undressed?"

"Much more," Snape purred.

"But Severus," Lupin said in mock-concern, "I'm afraid I might not be able to control myself around you."

"Did I say that I wanted you to control yourself?"

"But you're hurt, Severus," Lupin protested with real concern this time, although his eyes were still merry.

"I made that salve myself," Snape said haughtily. "I assure you it's quite effective. Besides, it's just a few welts."

"More than a few," Lupin said, applying salve to the inside of Snape's thigh. But despite his words, he let his hand linger there longer than necessary, and Snape shivered. "But I suppose we could be careful..."

"Very careful," Snape agreed in a husky voice.

"Perhaps we should continue this on the bed," Lupin said, his voice turning slightly hoarse as well. "For your comfort, of course."

"Of course. And since you're so concerned about making me comfortable..."

Lupin smiled and began to unfasten his robes.

***

Harry's eyes went wide with horror as Snape staggered into the dining room, a little unsteady on his feet. He looked awful; bright red welts stood out in sharp contrast against the dead-white skin of his face and hands. Voldemort must have done that to him...had he found out Snape was a traitor? But no...Voldemort surely would never have let him live, if that were the case...

The other children stared in shock as Lupin gently touched Snape's face in a gesture of concern and affection, and Snape slapped Lupin's hand away. Then they all jumped up and ran to the doorway to watch as Snape chased after Lupin.

"Get back here and mind your own business!" Mrs. Weasley scolded, but Professor Blackmore stopped her.

"No, Molly," she said quietly. "Let them be."

"But--"

"Severus has been hiding this long enough," Blackmore said in that quiet voice. "They need to see this. Or rather, Remus needs them to see it."

Mr. Weasley was peering curiously over the children's heads. "Goodness," he muttered to himself. "I still can't believe it, Remus and Severus..."

"What do you mean, Daddy?" Ginny asked, but he didn't answer.

Mrs. Weasley heaved a sigh of resignation. "Honestly, Arthur, you're as bad as the children!" But in spite of herself, she came over to watch as well.

Sirius shoved his way into the crowd packed in the doorway, scowling furiously as he watched Lupin and Snape argue. "I swore I'd turn that slimy git into a slug if he hurt Remy," he growled, reaching for his wand, but let his hand fall back to his side when he saw Blackmore glaring at him.

"Leave them alone, Sirius," she said sternly. "They have to work this out by themselves."

"It's one thing when it's a game we're both playing," Lupin was saying angrily, "and another entirely when you push me away, in the safety of our home, when I'm concerned about you!"

"What on earth is he talking about?" Ron wondered out loud.

"You know I'm just trying to protect you--" Snape argued.

"I don't see any Death Eaters around here, do you, Severus?" Lupin shouted.

"Just one," Sirius muttered.

Lupin and Snape both yelled at Sirius to shut up, to the children's further surprise. They had never seen the always calm and patient werewolf lose his temper like this before. They continued to watch as the pair argued, and saw Snape's face fill with fear and guilt.

"REMUS!" Snape shouted as Lupin turned away from him.

"'Remus'?" Ron asked incredulously. "Snape never calls Lupin by his first name!" Then he let out an ear-piercing shriek when Snape grabbed Lupin and kissed him firmly on the mouth, in full view of everyone. Hermione's and Ginny's mouths dropped open in shock, and Harry was a little stunned himself, even though he knew the pair were lovers. He quickly looked away; he had already witnessed this type of scene once before, and had no desire to see it again.

"Get a room, you two," Sirius muttered grumpily.

"Shh!" hissed Blackmore.

"Happy now?" Snape asked sarcastically, when the kiss finally ended.

"Very happy, Severus," Lupin replied, and Harry thought his three friends were going to faint when Lupin snuggled against Snape contentedly. And as if everything else hadn't been shocking enough, Snape actually apologized to Lupin! In a way, that was more shocking than the kiss, because Snape never apologized to anyone. Lupin apologized as well, and the two teachers embraced tenderly.

"Wh...wh...what's going on here?!" Ron asked in outrage, although his voice came out as more of a squeak than a shout.

Snape's face turned red, and he gave the children a murderous look. "If you ever breathe a word of this to anyone, I swear I will kill you!"

"Severus!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed, and suddenly she looked as fierce and protective as a mother bear. Harry lifted his hand to his face to hide his smile; he didn't think even the dreaded Potions Master would be a match for Mrs. Weasley when she thought her children might be in danger.

"I will impress upon the children the importance of keeping your relationship secret," Blackmore said calmly. "Why don't you go upstairs and let Remus tend your wounds?"

"But I have news," Snape protested, but in a halfhearted voice. Harry looked up eagerly, and Snape added sharply, "For Order members only."

"Can it keep till morning?" Blackmore asked. "Is anyone in imminent danger?"

"It can wait," Snape said, "but not for long. We should convene a meeting tomorrow; I have very important news to relay."

"Very well. I will send out the messages," Blackmore said, then added in a stern voice, "Now go upstairs and get some rest."

"Yes, Professor Blackmore," Snape said with surprising meekness, and he and Lupin left.

Blackmore smiled at Hermione, Ron, and Ginny, who were staring at her expectantly. "Why don't we go back into the dining room and talk about this over dessert?" she suggested.

Blackmore had bought cream puffs and eclairs for dessert, plump and oozing rich cream, but the children barely touched them as they listened to her calmly explain how Lupin and Snape had "grown close" while working on her class project, and how they had parted bitterly over Sirius's prank.

"So it wasn't just a prank," Hermione said; of all the children, she was usually the quickest to pick up on things. She gave Sirius an accusing look and said, "You were trying to break them up, weren't you?"

Sirius flushed and muttered, "I was trying to protect Moony; I was afraid Snape was going to hurt him...I just wanted to scare him off, that's all."

"If Remus had hurt or killed Severus in his wolf state," Blackmore said angrily, "he probably would have been imprisoned or executed!" The children gasped, and she gave them an impatient look. "What, you hadn't realized that? Werewolves are just barely tolerated in our society; the Ministry would never let one who had attacked a human go free, even if it was an accident."

"I didn't realize," said Harry, turning pale. "I knew Snape's life was in danger, but I never thought that Professor Lupin's might be, too..."

"Well, you were not the only one who didn't stop to think," Blackmore said, shooting a glare in Sirius's direction.

"All right, I admit I was stupid!" Sirius shouted, looking ashamed and a little sullen at the same time. "I didn't think! I never meant to hurt Moony! I didn't even mean to hurt Snape--not really; I just wanted to scare him!" Blackmore glared at him again, and he said in a quieter and more sincerely remorseful voice, "I could never have lived with myself if anything happened to Remus because of me." He looked up at Harry. "I owe so much to your father, Harry. By saving Snape, he also saved Remus. So he is doubly a hero."

Blackmore's expression softened slightly, although she still looked concerned, perhaps picking up on the fact--as Harry had--that Sirius had expressed relief only over Lupin's life being saved, not Snape's. From the thoughtful look and small frown on Hermione's face, he thought that she might have noticed too. "In any case," Blackmore continued, "Severus felt betrayed by Remus, and they remained apart for almost twenty years."

"But it wasn't Professor Lupin's fault!" Ron said indignantly.

Blackmore sighed. "No, but Severus has always been incredibly stubborn. And...there are other factors at work here. Severus had a difficult childhood; I cannot give you any of the details, but suffice it to say that he had little reason to trust anyone." Harry flushed and squirmed uncomfortably, remembering the memories he had seen during his Occlumency lessons and in the Pensieve. "And the inter-House rivalry has also served to foster distrust between Slytherin and Gryffindor."

"Slytherins are all slimy gits," Ron muttered under his breath.

"That is exactly what I'm talking about!" Blackmore snapped, and Ron cringed. "Yes, I'm sure that many of the Slytherin children have been unpleasant to you...but each and every one? Or do you judge them solely based upon their House?"

"Dylan's all right," Hermione said.

"I thought he didn't want to be seen associating with a Gryffindor," sneered Ron.

Hermione started to say something, then bit her lip and fell silent.

"The pressures are great," Blackmore said in a kinder voice, "not to associate with someone from a rival House. It is difficult for such a friendship to survive, when the Houses of both parties regard them as traitors for associating with the enemy." Ron flushed, and Hermione gave Blackmore a grateful look. "As Remus and Severus discovered," Blackmore added, and Sirius flushed as well. "But do not judge Severus too harshly. Despite his anger, he has always cared about Remus. You must not tell anyone I told you this, but Severus helped to create the Wolfsbane Potion." The children stared at her in shock; this was news even to Harry. "He let his partner, a Japanese wizard named Kamiyama, take all the credit so that no one would discover he had anything to do with it."

"He did it for Professor Lupin?" Ginny asked, her eyes wide. "He kept quiet about it so Professor Lupin wouldn't find out?"

"Well, partly because the Death Eaters might find it suspicious, but yes, I suspect he covered up his role in the potion's creation mainly so that Remus would not suspect he still cared about him." Blackmore sighed. "He is such a stubborn boy..."

"When did they get back together again?" Hermione asked.

Blackmore smiled. "When Remus began teaching at Hogwarts."

"WHAT?!" Ginny, Ron, and Hermione shrieked in chorus. "But Snape acted like he hated Lupin!" Ron said. "He got Lupin fired!"

"There is a very thin line between love and hate," Blackmore said. "At first, the hate was real. But eventually they worked things out."

"How?" asked Ron skeptically.

"That's between Remus and Severus," Blackmore replied. "If you want to know the details, you'll have to ask them."

Harry privately thought he would rather take on all the Death Eaters without his wand rather than ask Snape for details about his love life, and from the expressions on his friends' faces, they clearly agreed. But it might be safe to ask Lupin, if they could talk to him when Snape wasn't around...

"Then, after they got back together, Severus kept up the pretense of hatred so that no one would suspect the truth," Blackmore continued.

"But...why did he get Professor Lupin fired?" Ginny asked in bewilderment.

Blackmore gave them that impatient look again. "Can't you guess?" she asked, her eyes sliding over to Sirius.

"He thought Professor Lupin was helping you," Hermione said to Sirius. "Again."

Sirius hung his head guiltily, but muttered, "Snape didn't have to be so damned stubborn..."

"They made up again afterwards," Blackmore said. "But the damage was already done. Remus's secret was exposed, and he had to leave Hogwarts."

Harry and Hermione stared at each other, remembering how Snape had shown up at Lupin's office right before he left the school. "That's what he was doing that day!" Harry exclaimed. "He came to apologize to Lupin!" He shook his head, still having trouble picturing that.

"How could Lupin forgive him?" Ron asked, still looking confused and indignant.

Blackmore smiled. "Remus is very forgiving. And Severus has his good points, even if he doesn't show them to you very often. He made the potion for Remus. He risks his life spying on the Death Eaters. He's worked hard to protect Harry, even if he isn't very gracious about it. He embarrassed himself today in front of you to prove his love to Remus. And he saved Sirius's life."

"WHAT?!" Harry's friends exclaimed again, and Sirius scowled.

"That's right," Hermione said, "Professor Lupin mentioned something about that the night we moved in, but he didn't say anything about how or why, and Professor Snape didn't want to talk about it."

Blackmore grinned. "Sirius was badly wounded in the fight with the Death Eaters. Severus cast a healing spell that transferred his own strength to Sirius, a particularly dangerous spell. If anything had gone wrong, Severus could have died."

"You're kidding!" Ron said disbelievingly. "He hates Sirius!" Then, perhaps recalling that he had thought Snape hated Lupin as well, he added hesitantly, "Er...doesn't he?"

"I would never kid about such a thing," Blackmore said with a straight face. "Yes, he does hate Sirius, but Sirius is Remus's best friend, so he saved Sirius for Remus's sake."

"You knew?" Ron asked Harry, looking shocked and a little hurt. "And you never told us?!"

"He couldn't," Blackmore interrupted, to Harry's relief. "He was sworn to secrecy. And the three of you must swear to keep all this a secret as well. Severus was concerned about more than just being embarrassed in front of his students. If the Dark Lord or the Death Eaters should find out he is having a relationship with Remus, an ally of Dumbledore and an enemy of Voldemort, they will realize he is a traitor and most likely kill him." She gave them a very stern and serious look. "It is very important that you keep your silence, and say nothing, not even to your friends and family. Well...except Molly and Arthur, of course; they already know. But even the other Order members, apart from Tonks and Kingsley, do not know about this. If a hint of gossip should leak out in school, for example, and the child of a Death Eater should hear..."

The children went pale, and solemnly promised not to tell anyone.

"I still can't believe it," Mr. Weasley muttered. "Snape, of all people!"

"Arthur!" Mrs. Weasley scolded.

"I thought Professor Snape was in love with YOU," Hermione suddenly blurted out to Blackmore, and blushed as Blackmore burst into laughter.

"Why did you think that, dear?" she laughed, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Well, because he was dancing with you last Christmas," Hermione said, still blushing, "and because you kissed him under the mistletoe."

"SNAPE? And BRANWEN?" Sirius asked, sounding like he didn't know whether to be amused or outraged.

"I love Severus," Blackmore said with a smile, "but not in that way. I have known Severus, Remus, and Sirius since they were eleven years old. I love them the way I would love my own children, if I had any."

"But they're adults now," Hermione pointed out. "And they're actually older than you are now, since you didn't age in...er...wherever it was you were hiding for fourteen years."

"You're right, Hermione," Blackmore said thoughtfully. "But I was their teacher for so long that I suppose it's difficult for me to see them as adults sometimes."

Sirius snorted, and said, "You certainly lecture us as if you were still our teacher!"

"Only when you behave childishly," Blackmore retorted, but with a smile, and Sirius scowled for a moment, then laughed and smiled back at her. Blackmore turned back to Hermione and said, "I'm afraid that even if Severus weren't already involved with Remus, I could never think of him romantically. I can't help but think of him as the young boy I was so concerned about over twenty years ago..." She sighed, and suddenly looked tired and guilty. "I cared about all my students, especially the Slytherins, whom I wanted to save from Voldemort...Dylan's father was one of them. Evan Rosier was a charming and mischievous boy once, before the Dark Lord corrupted him. So many of my former students are dead--Rosier, Wilkes, Riggs, and Foley--and others, like the Lestranges and the Malfoys, willingly gave up their souls to Voldemort."

"It's not your fault, Branwen," Sirius said quietly, patting her on the shoulder in a slightly awkward, but sincere attempt to comfort her.

"Well, at least Severus survived," Blackmore sighed, laying her hand over Sirius's for a moment. "Even if he is scarred by his time among the Death Eaters...but then, the war left scars upon all of us, I suppose." She saw the children looking at her, anxious and uncomfortable, and she smiled and said in a lighter tone, "Anyway, I suspect Severus would be horrified if you told him that you thought he was in love with me! I am, after all, the dreaded Professor Blackmore, who terrorized my students!" She grinned and added, "And I gave Sirius and Severus detention on many occasions!"

"Yes, I remember that well," Sirius said sourly, and Blackmore laughed.

"What about Professor Lupin?" Hermione asked curiously.

"Oh, Remus was a good boy," Blackmore said. "I never gave him detention. He only got into mischief when James and Sirius dragged him along into one of their foolish stunts."

"What sort of stunts?" Ron asked, a speculative gleam in his eyes.

"That's enough!" said his mother firmly. "It's getting late; finish your dessert and go to bed!" She saw Sirius suppressing a laugh, and added, "And don't go filling their head with nonsense, Sirius! As Harry's godfather, you're supposed to be setting a good example for the children!"

"I didn't say a word, Molly," Sirius said innocently, then turned his attention to his dessert, pretending not to notice Mrs. Weasley's you-aren't-fooling-me-one-bit glare. The children grinned at each other, quickly gobbled up their pastries, and headed upstairs. 

Part 7